Naked Baby - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Some one recently asked what kind of fetus do I come from. There is a theory that a child in China assembled me under harsh conditions and constant threats of what will happen if I had not been completed by curfew. I'm not going to lie to you. My guardian tells me that beer, bacon, and apathy had a three way and I am the end result. As far as three ways go I myself will remain a virgin until the day I marry my "Porn Princess" and although I do not partake in premarital sex I don't judge those of you who do. Until that day comes I will continue to hang out with loose women because they are the most fun. I will drink Wild Turkey every chance I get. I'm the one to call if you need some baby ass kickin done. The only thing in the world that scares me is the Chupacabra, and I hope I spelled that right in case it should see this and decide to come tear me apart............................................... Don't hate my crazy mother"Different strokes for different folks" I miss you dear old dad R.I.P.!!! Meet my retatrded favorite cuz Get Free Myspace Layouts at MySpaceLayouts.ca

My Interests

I am very,very,very lactose intolerant....

Music:

joe bean esposito-nobody can touch The Karate Kid theme song. Disco and anything else that makes me shake my money maker. Current favorite song Milkshake cause mine goes to the babies in the yard.

Movies:

Sybil, Three faces of Eve, Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf, Mommy Dearest. Love those crazy bitches they remind me of Mommy. And Ghost World because stalking strangers is so much fun!!!

Television:

Prison Break, I want to grow up to look like Wentworth Miller I think Chaisy would like that.

Books:

Mad Genius the odyssey, pursuit, and capture of the unabomber. Especially dig Ted Kaczynski's manifesto.

My Blog

Gas Powered Turkey Baster

It seems the entire month of November has been nothing but a big birthday bash. I have attended several parties this month for people getting that much closer to death. Even though I have come t...
Posted by Naked Baby on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 01:21:00 PST

Elvis ROCKS 50

Bar Fly threw his 50th birthday party and Elvis invited me himself so I grabbed the first beatch available and went. It was all I expected and more. Elvis sang his heart out and showed us his as...
Posted by Naked Baby on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 05:09:00 PST

Question

There is no better way to exploit intoxicated behavior than being the most sober party when you are out with your friends. A few of us went out the other night and one individual got more sa...
Posted by Naked Baby on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 12:09:00 PST

Who gave Moroccan Kitty a passport to shit in my mouth

I woke up on Christmas morning face down in a puddle of drool, a headache pounding so bad my neighbors thought I was playing drums and my mouth literally tasted like shit. I opened my eyes and looked ...
Posted by Naked Baby on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 10:58:00 PST

You know what I hate!!!

You know what I hate.......I hate those stupid little white parking stickers from those distasteful looking green parking vending machines that obstruct the sidewalks of downtown Portland. They liter ...
Posted by Naked Baby on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:57:00 PST

"Skooled" Brought To You By The Macaroni Show!!!

So George Bush and I hit the triangle last weekend lookin for the usual butt kickin good time. We ended up listening to some band named Smooch Knob. They had a bunch of little girls in pig tails runni...
Posted by Naked Baby on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 12:13:00 PST

Grade School Anarchy?

Either the children of Portland, Oregon have declared anarchy on the school system while the rest of the children living in the state of Oregon are attending classes today or Portland administration i...
Posted by Naked Baby on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:03:00 PST

Muchas Gracias for the plate of FUCK YOU!!!

I was recently out tearing it up in Vantucky with my friends doing the usual and having a great time doing it. Hours pass and we are more intoxicated, next thing you know the bar is closing. Wel...
Posted by Naked Baby on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 09:35:00 PST

Vantucky Champs Can Throw a PARTY!!! who'd a thunk it?

Recently I accompanied my master to a show to see the Vantucky Champs. WHEW HOO!!! These guys know how to throw a party. I was consuming shots of Wild Turkey while my m...
Posted by Naked Baby on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 10:06:00 PST

I am here for a good time not a long time.

I am the product of a propane stealing, gas huffing Vantucky woman and a vagrant meth addict from a Chevron mini-mart in guess where? My current guardian found me crawling out of a trash can in ...
Posted by Naked Baby on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:28:00 PST