About Me

"quod me nutruit me destruit" (what feeds me destroys me)
Originally from Austin, Texas, I am currently a student at a small, private liberal arts college in Claremont, California.
So, about me: as open and willing as I am to furnish an answer to the most personal of questions or to vocalize my experiences and perspectives, I can't help but feel as though I still remain a quiet, complicated mystery. Despite this, I carry on...
At times I live mechanically, emotionally-absent and unconsciously ignoring my surroundings. At other times everything around engulfs me, reducing me to a speck that is at the point of expanding into an indefinite mess of exasperation, fear and disappointment...
Self-disappointment, is in fact, my undying rival. It challenges me to improve -- my image, my intelligence and my character -- because if I am not meeting my standards for all three I can never be satisfied.

AIM s/n : whoa santos

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I get along well with friends with a healthy level of self-confidence -- but who are not conceited. I need someone who can appreciate the beauty in anyone and respect others. Be stable and show me that I am worth somethin'.

To any new friends or acquaintances: I feel like I've dwindled into a state of constant doubt and perpetual self-hate. I've been walking on thin glass for a while now, so don't be a bitch to me and save any attitude for someone a little more light-hearted.

My Blog

The Concealed Truth

I wish I had an explanationfor my tiring hesitationto even share in whispersmy mourning heart's desire.My lost wish is a taciturn maze;the only entrance: my telling gaze.Sadly, you avoid it so very we...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 03:13:00 PST

Past MySpace Pic & Its Comments: On my way to Houston, TX on a VERY hot day!

On my way to Houston, TX on a VERY hot day! Fabi (Girls: NOT Wanted)December 16, 2006 5:00 PMwow i'm gonna ride along in ur car more often lolz. Ashleythe day was hot cuz ur fold love ur cuttie face...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 09:40:00 PST

Past MySpace Pic & Its Comments: Garden of Eden

garden of edenRobertDecember 30, 2006 10:12 PM DON'T PICK THE FLOWER!! ;-) Fabi: girls not wantedDecember 16, 2006 5:01 PMnow this is one garden I would love to visit!!! ChrisJuly 31, 2006 5:19 AMS...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 12:54:00 PST

the sweetest memory of the summer of 2006

the Unbelievable Boy wasmy luck. my love. my life....
Posted by Santos/SJ on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 02:16:00 PST

the game of lust

the silent cycle won't subside. it's all in the mind. the mind is a victim of the heart. the heart expands its desires. desires dictate needs. the need to know the infatuation won't die....
Posted by Santos/SJ on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 08:57:00 PST

i l_ _e you

confusing emotions run deepcausing me once again to lose sleep.i have shielded myself (thus far)to avoid a "could be painful" fall...why am i so weak?in my never-coming dreamsi search but never seemto...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 11:13:00 PST

the Unbelievable Boy

Shy glance,charming smile,awkward stance,and all the whileunbelievably real.An unbelievable boy,who could be fake(with his good looks and sexy voice),but for my personal sakewas unbelievably real.He w...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 06:13:00 PST

abuse, schizophrenia & envy

Digging a bit into my private life, the following are three pieces of creative non-fiction that I composed during my semester-long course of Magnet Creative Writing in the Fall of last year. I'v...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:16:00 PST

HOURS of POWER.

this weekend was 48 hours of fkn outrageous fun!! haha let me elaborate:saturday = Pride PARADE, but more importantly, i finally met andrew, marg's guy.travis, andrew, marg and i headed to the parade ...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Mon, 12 Jun 2006 11:10:00 PST

Work Out Routine: category 1

So I decided I needed to start working out regularly, especially since I had stopped running once the cross-country season ended. Luckily for me, Clay has been considering attending a military boardin...
Posted by Santos/SJ on Tue, 28 Mar 2006 08:39:00 PST