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Barney A.K.A Scott Spice

Don't Think About It Drink About It!

About Me


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Created by Bart King
MY MATES FIVE MINUTE FILM FUCKING HILARIOUS!I'm 18 years old, I live in Atherstone! The place where the bicycle is still the most advanced mode of transport other than the occasional Vauxhall Nova driven by your neighbourhood friendly Mike Skinner wannabe. I work as a Barman in a local and insanely overpriced pub. My pride and joy is my Mini! (The Old Skool Model Baby!) I want to move up to Newcastle and get pissed and watch the toon. I'd also like to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion lol
*The New and Improved Ultimate About Me*:
Basics:
Name: Scott Paul Richard Barnard
Date of Birth: 14/01/89
Birthplace: Northampton
Current Location: A-Town
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown but due to a malfunction with hair dye it now has ginger tints! Lol
Height: 6'0
Heritage: English/Australian
Piercings: 0
Tattoos: 3
Favourite:
Band/Singer: Ocean Colour Scene
Song: One By U2
Movie: Human Traffic, Trainspotting, Oldboy, How High
Disney Movie: The Lion King
TV show: Soccer AM, Family Guy, Scrubs
Color: Red
Food: Pancakes, Spag Bol Or Beef Sandwiches (No Butter)
Pizza topping: Chicken
Ice-Cream Flavor: Cornish
Drink (alcoholic): Guiness, Newcastle Brown, Tequilla, Red Diesel or Spitfire
Soda: Coca-Cola
Store: Selfridges
Clothing Brand: Stone Island, Paul Smith and Evisu
Shoe Brand: Y-3
Season: Summer
Month: January
Holiday/Festival: Christmas
Flower: West Indian Larlac lol (Heard It Off Jurassic Park)
Make-Up Item: A Hairdryer..To Stick Up Your Ass Sideways For Asking Me That Question
Board game: Guess Who Or Jumanji
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Fruit or veggie: Fruity
Night or day: Day
Sour or sweet: Sweet
Love or money: Love
Phone or in person: In Person
Looks or personality: Personality But They Have To Be Attractive If Vanessa Felps Saved Baby Seals From Drowning In Oil Polluted Waters I Still Wouldn't Fancy Her
Coffee or tea: Neither You Twisted Cunt
Hot or cold: Hot
Your:
Goal for this year: To Drive, To Make A Religion Called "The Smokers" Then We Can Defy The Smoking Ban Due To Religious Choice
Most missed memory: My Last Fag
Best physical feature: My Hairless Gooch LMAO
First thought waking up: What Are You Doing In Here You Must Weigh 400 Pounds? Just Grease Up The Door Frame And Slide Your Fat Ass Out Of My House
Hypothetical personality disorder: I Smoke Way To Much
Preferred type of plastic surgery: Chemically Enhancing Facial Hair
Sesame street alter ego: Elmo
Fairytale alter ego: Jack Who Went Up The Hill To Nail That Jane Bird LOL
Most stupid remark: What Do You Mean The Pubs Shut! Do You Want Me To Come Behind There And Give You An Enema
Worst crime: Smoked Weed
Greatest ambition: Meeting Simon Fowler, Drinking 6 Pints Of Guiness On St. Patrick's Day Winning A Hat And Still Going To Work LOL
Greatest fear: Prince Albert's And Cocaine
Darkest secret: I've Just Shit my Pants
Favorite subject: My Car, My Guitar
Strangest received gift: An Expired WHSmith Voucher Worth 1 Pound
Worst habit: Smoking, Getting Tattoos
Do You:
Smoke: Yep
Drink: Heavily
Curse: What The Fuck Is Cursing?
Shower daily: Yesh
Like thunderstorms: There Ok
Dance in the rain: Yeah Its Pretty Cool
Sing: Yeah But I'd Probably Put Robbie Back In Rehab If I Went Pro LOL
Play an instrument: Guitar And Piano
Get along with your parents: Yeah There The DB's
Wish on stars: Nar
Believe in fate: Maybe I Saw That Film Serendipity Which Sounds Pretty Cool
Believe in love at first sight: Hey Why Not
Can You:
Drive: Not Legally
Sew: Sort Of
Cook: Yep I'm A Real Homemaker LOL
Speak another language: Yes Check This Out "Senor! Me Wanna Tequilla Por Favor!" LOL
Dance: Yep
Sing: No
Touch your nose with your tongue: Yeah If I Push My Nose Down With My Finger
Whistle: Yep
Curl your tongue: No
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: Whenever I'm Not At Work Usually
Been Stoned/High: Oh Yes
Eaten Sushi: Nar
Been in Love: Yes
Skipped school: Yeah
Made prank calls: Yeah
Sent someone a love letter: Yep
Stolen something: Nar
Cried yourself to sleep: Nope
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? Giving It The Big I AM
Are you right or left handed? Righty
What is your bedtime? When The Pub Shuts
Name three things you can't live without: Guiness, Guitar And My Prada Shoes
What is the color of your room? Chocolate And A Vanilla Colour
Do you have any siblings? Yep A Sister
Do you have any pets? Yep A Sister
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? Peter Fuckin Andre!
What is you middle name? Paul And Richard
What are you nicknames? Barney, Barnyard
Are you for or against gay marriage? No As Long As It's Not Mine
What are your thoughts ..ion? Personally I Hope I Never Have To Go Through It Myself
Do you have a crush on anyone? Nope Not At The Mo
Are you afraid of the dark? No
How do you want to die? Having Sex LOL
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? 74
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? Depends If Its A Headshot Then Hell No
What is the last law you’ve broken? Threw A Fag Butt On The Floor
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: Dark
Eye color: Brown
Height Shorter Than Me
Weight Not Stick Thin But Not The Michelin Man
Most important physical feature: Eyes
Biggest turn-off Hair On Face, Murderous Intentions
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My Interests

Music! (That means playing, listening, whatever!), Football, Alcohol, PartyingTHE TOON ARMY! HOWAY THE LADS!

I'd like to meet:

All you people out there that are either: A)Fans of music B)Play in a band in the Midlands area C)Newcastle United fans D)Famous E)Have a super cool name (e.g Socrates) F)Have a super cool nickname (e.g The One-Eyed Jigolo) G)Drunk H)Interested in me I)Hot J)Have a Mini if you don't have any of the above then It don't really matter just send me a comment

Music:

Mostly Brit Pop And Indy but I listen to anything from dance, reggae, hip hop whatever really aslong as there isn't someone in the band that looks like Kian from Westlife. He has a face that makes me wanna start breaking things lolOCEAN COLOUR SCENE CANNOT BE BEATEN THEY RULE!

Movies:

Tarantino is a legend! Followed closely by Scorsese I love the Hooligan films like Football Factory and Green Street. Old school martial arts films like Oldboy and Battle Royale. The gangster classics like Scarface and The Godfather Trilogy aswell as a shit load of others. HUMAN TRAFFIC THE ULTIMATE FRIDAY NIGHT FILM!

Television:

Little Britain, Friends, Family Guy, Two And A Half Men, The Mighty Boosh, Jackass I also find My Super Sweet Sixteen fucking hilarious. Dosey stuck up rich cracker bitchesANYTHING WITH THE HOFF IS LEG-ENDARY

Books:

Robert Ludlum books are probs my favourite, Birdsong is a goodun and you can't beat Adrian Mole! He put Ashby De La Zouch on the map lolGEORGE BUSH'S TONY AND ME IS A GOOD READ LOL

Heroes:

MICHAEL: Absolute drinking legend. The only man I know that has heart palpatations at 19 just for drinking 12 times his bodily weight in alcoholic fluids mostly Cheeky Vimto!
NICK: The best prank caller I've ever heard in my life not only is he a legend but his alter ego Ralph is also pretty high on the legend scale
JOHN: The long haired is simply legendary for one reason. That reason being that he has is own pint named after him in the Hat And Beaver (The friendly market town pub ;))
LIANNE: Never thought buying sunglasses or for that fact shopping in Primark could be such fun. Couldn't direct her way out of a paper bag. But who cares cause she likes to party, she likes, she likes, to party
WAGGER: A-Town legend and Ansley mine hero. He's a complete and utter tramp who knicks food from other peoples leftovers in the pub. But there's still no time like Wagger time!
THERE'S ONLY ONE ALAN SHEARER 206!