JF2k7! profile picture

JF2k7!

deusxmachina

About Me

I refuse to make my profile "private", because I honestly have nothing on here that I'm looking to hide. I truly apologize if you came here to dig up dirt and/or stir up the pot, and if that is the case, please do click here . As for the rest of you, hi, I'm Jeff, and
• I was born on a Thursday; it was Christmas morning.
• I love music but certainly don't care about your band.
• I have an ardent love for typography. Current favorites are Optima and Big Caslon. I absolutely despise Impact.
• I DJ 80s music.
• I eat meat and wear leather.
• I have been known to drive vehicles without catalytic converters.
• I can run very, very fast.
• Mi español es atroz, pero soy determinado a ser con soltura en dos años.
• I have an untimulaneous tendency to invent words.
• I am a punctilious toad who hates spelling and grammar errors.
• I am smarter than your honor student.
• I like bullet points.
• Living Colour is my favorite black metal band.
• I don't call Japanese hardcore Jap-Core.
• I liked Earache better when Dig answered the phone.
• I don't have a "scene," and I probably never will—I can have fun just about anywhere, especially if there are cheap drink specials.
• I write about music. Check out my digs .
• I also have an RSS feed , because I am the shit.
• I do not require all comments to be approved because I am not a choad, however, if you post a flyer without notifying me first, there is a significant chance that I will delete it. This is one of the reasons why bands are blocked.
• I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
• I'm the amazing hot cereal that defies failure, thwarts mediocrity, and tastes like chocolate.
• I'll dance to anything by The Communards.
• I pull no punches.
• I brake for no one.
• I got jokes.
• I also got two turntables and a microphone.
• If one wanted to, one could reach me via AIM at russellisfired.
My Broadway takes in people like you and chews them up and SPITS THEM OUT!!
April 2003 - Pittsburgh, Pa., U.S.
April 2003 - Philadelphia, Pa., U.S.
April 2003 - London, England, U.K.
April 2003 - Charlotte, N.C., U.S.
June 2004 - Toronto, Ont., Canada
June 2004 - London, England, U.K.
June 2004 - Montréal, PQ, Canada
February 2005 - Amsterdam, Netherlands
September 2005 - Stockholm, Sweden
September 2005 - Prague, Czech Republic
September 2005 - Frankfurt, Germany
January 2006 - Boston, Mass., U.S.
July 2006 - Newark, N.J., U.S.
July-August 2006 - Stockholm, Sweden
August 2006 - Drottningholm, Sweden
October 2006 - México D.F., México
October 2006 - Mérida, Yucatán, México
May 2007 - St. Louis, Mo., U.S.
May 2007 - (breaking loose in) Tulsa, Okla., U.S.
May 2007 - Oklahoma City, Okla., U.S.
May 2007 - Amarillo, Texas, U.S.
May 2007 - Tucumcari, N.M., U.S.
May 2007 - Albuquerque, N.M., U.S.
May 2007 - Flagstaff, Ariz., U.S.
May 2007 - Grand Canyon, Ariz., U.S.
May 2007 - Needles, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - Los Angeles, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - San Diego, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - San Ysidro, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - Tijuana, Baja California, México
May 2007 - Mountain View, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - Palo Alto, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - San Jose, Calif., U.S.
May 2007 - San Francisco, Calif., U.S.
October 2007 - St. Louis, Mo., U.S.
October 2007 - Blytheville, Ark., U.S.
October 2007 - Memphis, Tenn., U.S.
October 2007 - Jackson, Miss., U.S.
October 2007 - New Orleans, La., U.S.
October 2007 - Biloxi, Miss., U.S.
October 2007 - Mobile, Ala., U.S.
October 2007 - Pensacola, Fla., U.S.
October 2007 - Fort Walton Beach, Fla., U.S.
October 2007 - Destin, Fla., U.S.
October 2007 - Montgomery, Ala., U.S.
October 2007 - Birmingham, Ala., U.S.
October 2007 - Huntsville, Ala., U.S.
October 2007 - Nashville, Tenn., U.S.
October 2007 - Bowling Green, Ky., U.S.
October 2007 - Louisville, Ky., U.S.
October 2007 - Indianapolis, Ind., U.S.
Recently played on iTunes (tracked using Last.fm ):
Here's a kickass pie chart I constructed showing not only my cultural make-up but also showing my mad pie-chart-constructing skills. Please believe it. I edited my profile all by myself, because I am fucking awesome at life.

My Interests


Things I Enjoy typography, graphic design, art for art's sake, history, journalism, tattoos and hardware, sleeping late, travel, spicy food, serotonin , high fructose corn syrup, ascorbic acid (specifically, the L-enantiomer ), lucha libre , comedy and satire, The Onion , trivia, non-fiction and reference books, theology, Occam's Razor, etymology, Wikipedia , road trips, Europe, impromptu photography , Baroque, Art Nouveau, Constructivism , Modernism, false friends , iconography, phenomenology , offensive gestures, ephemera, portmanteaux , memes , The White Sox, Arsenal FC , AFC Ajax , AC Sparta Praha , Deportivo Cruz Azul , CF Atlas , The Perry Bible Fellowship , Ano maly , crossword puzzles, su doku, astronomy, geography, Gary Numan live CDs , the Circle Game , analogies, hypotheses, implied metaphors, allusions, Socratic irony, The 23 Enigma, Goldschläger, Motörhead, umlauts, tildes, cedillas, haceks, grave accents, rubbish, poppycock, and other miscellany.
Things I Dislike bratty children, parents who don't discipline their bratty children, jingoistic surface patriots, Juggalos, South Park, PETA , light beer, puns, Jägerbombs, emoticons, spelling and grammar faux pas, people who type in ALL CAPS or LiKe tHiS, the Christian Right, pricks with driver's licenses, conspicuous and/or invidious consumption, The Fucking Yankees, riceboy culture (including but not limited to: overblown rims and spoilers, überBASS, doctored mufflers, paint jobs, useless hood scoops, clear tail lights, and an overabundance of gaudy stickers advertising companies which capitalize on the aforementioned), crotch rockets, SUVs, people who generally refer to motorcycles as "choppers", dreadlocks, Bluetooth earpieces , shag haircuts, 99% of reality television, paraesthesia, Kobe Bryant, hard house, power electronics, screamo, emocore, metalcore, post-hardcore, speedcore, terrorcore, Rotterdam hardcore, breakcore, candy corn, Southern and crunk rap, Metallica, Fred Durst, Avril Lavigne, Lil Jon, Paris Hilton, Canadian geese, seagulls, Rosie O'Donnell, the Osbourne family, Fred Phelps and his ilk , celery, people who brag about being obnoxious, random MySpace musicians who try and add me, fuckerpies and choads

I'd like to meet:

...people who do not post image comments exceeding 600 pixels wide. Remember, I'm a punctilious toad, and that shit jacks up my layout. It's unacceptable, folks. I also want to meet and hang out with people who rule. I can get along with just about anyone, but especially enjoy the company of wild and crazy types, and people who know how to have fun. Good sense of humor is imperative. Appreciation for filthy humor and random use of expletives is also encouraged. Don't worry, I'm not a cretin, and I have references. Moreover, I would really like to meet Monica Bellucci. If you are not Monica Bellucci, but you happen to look like her, I may still be interested in meeting you.

Music:

(see chart at right for recent tracks played via iTunes)

Joy Division, Bauhaus, DJ Shadow, Wolfsheim, The Cure, Goldie, Gary Numan, Depeche Mode, New Order, The Sisters of Mercy, Love and Rockets, A Tribe Called Quest, Killing Joke, Dead Kennedys, Mötley Crüe, Melvins, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, Cannibal Ox, The Cramps, The Police, Tones On Tail, Covenant (SWE), Skinny Puppy, [The] Orb, Ministry, The Rock*A*Teens, Leftfield, Alice in Chains, DJ Cam, David Bowie, Lords of Acid/Praga Khan, Megadeth, Poison, Revolting Cocks, Diana Krall, VNV Nation, LTJ Bukem, Stone Temple Pilots, My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult, Morphine, Misfits, KMFDM, Underworld, Tiger Army, Iron Maiden, The Clash, Kruder & Dorfmeister, Nine Inch Nails, Kool Keith, Rae & Christian, DJ Krush, Roxy Music, Roni Size, Soft Cell, Miles Davis, The Smiths, Nekromantix, St. Germain, Quasimoto, Lee "Scratch" Perry & the Upsetters, Dead or Alive, The Streets, Duran Duran, Thievery Corporation, Pigface, et al.

Movies:

The Big Lebowski, American Psycho, Swingers, Waking Life, Buffalo 66, Rushmore, Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, The Boondock Saints, Dark City, Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Fritz the Cat, Our Man Flint, The Saint, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, Formula 51, Mulholland Drive, The Matrix, Waiting for Guffman, Blue Velvet

Television:

The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Family Guy, The Critic, Arrested Development, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Forensic Files, House M.D., Late Night With Conan O'Brien, The Three Stooges, COPS, World's Craziest Police Chases, Cowboy Bebop, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, The People's Court (that Judge Marilyn Milian is one spicy señorita), anything on The History Channel

Books:

The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste, Completely Mad, Man and His Symbols, American Signs: Form and Meaning on Route 66. I am also currently reading this 24-volume set called Man, Myth & Magic. I will read any history book, especially if it's about medieval torture devices. I'm not much into organized religion, but from what I've gathered, their respective scriptures are very good reads. One day I will know everything... in the meantime, I will fake it. I think fictional prose is BO-ring. Yeah, even Jack Kerouac and J.D. Salinger. I must not be smart or emo enough to "get it"—maybe both! Stephen Chbosky is more overrated than Star Wars and Lord of the Rings combined.
Food & Drink soup, black olives, sushi, guacamole, plain M&M's, menudo, milanesa, Thai curry, surf 'n' turf, fresh mozzarella, saganaki, Flamin' Hot Cheetos, bacon, Capri Sun, chilli peppers, egg fooyung, étouffée, cashews, nachos, gyros, tzatziki, satay, bd's mongolian barbeque, White Castle, Taco Bell, Maxwell Street Polish, Waffle House, grape Crush, lemonade, horchata, Gatorade, Red Bull (although it kicks my liver's ass, and speaking of which...), Krusovice , Chimay Blue , Rolling Rock, Windhoek , Carlsberg , New Belgium Fat Tire ale, Allagash White, Goose Island 312, Unibroue Quelque Chose , most of the Samuel Adams seasonals, Lindeman's Lambics, Young's Double Chocolate and Oatmeal stouts, Frangelico, Berentzen Apfel Korn, Evan Williams eggnog, sangría, absinth , mint juleps (preferably with Maker's Mark), White Russians and screwdrivers

Heroes:



My Blog

Re 034

I hate Kobe Bryant. He's a great player, but he's also a fucking prima donna, a dirty rat and a locker room cancer. On my 26th birthday I split my shoulder open on the TV because I was drunk and pis...
Posted by JF2k7! on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 08:37:00 PST

Re 033

If you like that song by Soulja Boy, you should kill yourself. Seriously. I suggest jumping into the shower with a toaster. Because we really don't need you around. Seriously. If you are offended...
Posted by JF2k7! on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:53:00 PST

Re 032

So... since when is SoCo-and-lime the new Jägerbomb (read: the new disgusting yuppie chach shot)? Maybe it's because I don't go to bars as much anymore, but color me oblivious on this one.Cheers-JF2k...
Posted by JF2k7! on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 02:42:00 PST

Re 031

For those of you who hate licorice but like root beer, you're fucking retarded, because it's the same exact flavor. Seriously. Cheers-JF2k7!
Posted by JF2k7! on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 02:39:00 PST

Re 030

I refuse to do Facebook. Fuck Facebook. It's bad enough that I do this stupid site, but (a) I've been doing this since October of 2003 (ph33r my tenure, asshats) so I'm O.G., and (b) I waste enough ...
Posted by JF2k7! on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 11:00:00 PST

Re 029

I just love the film Office Space. The best part about the movie is that even if you don't work in an office, just about everyone can relate to some part of that movie in some capacity, whether it be...
Posted by JF2k7! on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 09:08:00 PST

Re 028

Sometimes I find stuff that bears reposting:Once upon a midnight dreary, while I Websurfed, weak and weary,Over many a strange and spurious Web site of 'hot chicks galore',While I clicked my fav'rite ...
Posted by JF2k7! on Fri, 25 May 2007 04:17:00 PST

Re 027

The only way that they'll get me to sit through Nanny 911 is if they show the nanny smacking the shit out of the kids, and then smacking the shit out of the parents. It would only have to take abou...
Posted by JF2k7! on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 04:48:00 PST

Re 026

Fuck the snow. Seriously. I wish White Castle delivered. Or Maxwell Street. Or wait... I wish White Castle and Maxwell Street was one place and it delivered so I could get a Polish (with free frie...
Posted by JF2k7! on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:40:00 PST

Re 025

I've been hearing so much about this band Hinder that I figured I'd listen to a few songs. Looking at the band I was expecting something along the lines of Buckcherry, which I may have actually sort ...
Posted by JF2k7! on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 09:55:00 PST