Brandon

I published a short book of poems on February 1st, 2008. It is available for purchase here: (click the image)
If you can describe yourself with one page on a website, you shouldn't be read about. I'll try. And pimping out your myspace doesn't make you cool. Trust me. 9 out of 10 people who spend 5 hours decorating their page suffer from lapses in mental prowess and should be quarantined for the sake of the children.
My name is Brandon. I was born in Union, SC: February 1st, 1985. My mother did a lot of cocaine. I think that fucked me up a great deal as a fetus and I've been dealing with it since.
Hot wings are the best food ever. If they're not hot, they're not shit. Nuclear Teriyaki wings from Wing Zone are good. They could be hotter, but they're hotter than the average advertised hot wing. If it ain't hot, it ain't shit. Tabasco sauce slim jims are the shit too. The higher on the scoville scale, the better, unless you're talking about the Red Savina Habanero's. Those can make you hallucinate. I highly recommend them.
My favorite television show is the Twilight Zone. Rod Serling was the first American television writer with balls. The Twilight Zone debuted in the same era as I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show, I Dream of Genie, Bonanza, Gunsmoke, and other sorts of glorified American rubbish. Before the Twilight Zone, television was a superficial representation of American myths (the happy family, genies, cowboys and rednecks), and afterwards, it kicked ass. If there's one other show in which the human race can be enslaved for the purpose of being eaten, let me know. And, for the record, The Outer Limits is the shit too, but just doesn't have the same place in my heart.
My earliest writing with a date on it was written in 1989. It was a poem about myself for pre-school. It sucked. I began writing short stories in second grade, or at least the earliest surviving short story I have is dated from that time period. The first novel I wrote was began at age 16. The last half of it was lost in a computer crash a couple of years later. I regard this as a blessing.
My favorite book is The Brothers Karamazov. With Ivan, Alyosha, Fyodor, Dmitri, and Smerdyakov. Dostoevsky creates believable characters, with psychological depth, to settle the major intellectual disputes within his own life. I've always thought that those 5 characters made up Dostoevsky as a whole. If nothing else, the book is great for the sake of The Grand Inquisitor. (Christ comes back to Earth and is imprisoned and lectured by a priest. How can that not rule?) I don't tend to like modern, or better yet gimmick based books. If the characterization sucks, the book sucks. If there are no noteworthy characters, there is no book. There are no morally good or morally evil books. They're either well written, or not, and Dostoevsky has great technical skill. I've always wanted to write in a style similar to a mixture of Lewis Carroll (his absurdity), Franz Kafka (his surrealism), Dostoevsky (his psychological insight) and Charles Dickens (because of how human his characters feel.) I started school at the Master's Baptist Childcare center when I was three. When I was five, I was formally adopted by my grandparents after having lived with them for most of my life. I have two brothers on my mother's side, Kyle and Dustin, and two sisters, Brandi and Kayla, on my father's side. Due to the nature of abandonment and adoption, I've got several other brothers and sisters. My father did as he was commanded. Spread the seed, and multiply, and all that.
My mother did a lot of cocaine. I think that had a dramatic effect on me as a fetus. I can remember the urge to smoke cigarettes as far back as I remember feet.
My feet are always cold. Poor circulation in my extremities.
I like to draw. I've become somewhat decent lately. No more of the stealing. Wouldn't want the mother fucking life police to catch me in a fib, would I? Gasp. That was just said. Register it. Let it wash over you. My concern is not to make you happy. If I make you happy, I apologize.
I was kicked out of Mensa. That made me sad. I didn't get to discuss the weight of smoke with the high intellectuals anymore. I mean, what more could one want to do with such enormous IQ's? Register. Get online. Go to meetings. Go to the website. Feel so good and smart and warm inside. Those Mensa fucks make me want to vomit. They've got their enormous heads up their enormous asses and discuss nothing but fucking trivialities. The WEIGHT OF SMOKE. What's 5.15 x 1.25 divided by 7 x 12? Pure genius. Fucking genius.
I don't have fancy evening shirts. My ratio of fancy shirts is directly proportionate to the amount of real friends I have. They all get to have me plus the one shirt I choose. Fashion sense reveals nothing but personality, don't you know? Look at those shoes HOLY FUCKING CHRIST MY TOES WOULD BATHE IN THAT LEATHERY NIRVANA!
I have two brothers. I have another guy named Robbie I consider somewhat of a brother. That is all. I have two sisters by my sperm donor and a bunch of aunts and uncles who are by law, brothers and sisters. My aunt is 17. My brother and I were stolen because our fathers would rather fuck and fight and get wasted than try to be parents. We have other relatives through their parentage, but we don't always claim them because they've never tried to talk to us. So fuck them. I don't need their validation. They can kiss my cock and then tell their gossip circle the flavor. Have you heard about the flavor of my cock? It's kind of sweaty from the non-recreational bathing. I've got more important shit to consider than sitting around in the shower rubbing soapy suds on myself in some sort of homo-asexual love festival. If you enjoy bathing yourself, and you're a man, you'd enjoy bathing another one just as much if you dismissed your ego for a while.
Post credentials before criticisms. Other wise they'll be forwarded to pornbots on myspace and I'll spam your page with shitty HTML. Fear the shitty HTML. I'll not only fuck up frames and borders, I'll post a picture of some guy fighting on Jerry Springer. Isn't that what people watch these days? I don't know who's more pathetic. The entertainment or the people laughing.
Every word said about you behind your back is, in and of itself, personal admission of cowardice. Whether or not you admit it to yourself is of no importance. The behavior is apparent in the breed. It's like that in dogs. They bark at each other, hump, fight, mark the territory, decorate it, have a food tray and some water. You know how it is. Getting rubbed by their masters all day. Ahha.
My favorite movie as a child was Ghost in the Shell. It had naked robots, numbers, and a bunch of computers. What the fuck else is there, really? Because of the female in that film, I almost always demand a shaved vagina when looking for a mate. If you want to inquire about the availability of the penis, or to make comments about it, you have my permission here.
If you don't have anything to say, don't just post a picture. Say something too. It actually warrants response. Hi! Here's a picture somebody else made! Please leave me a pix comment plz and tell me how u think about my new main pix. Isn't it dramatic in it's light, it's shadow? Oh, how exquisite the squalor is. Be amused by it.
A personal axion: "don't punish them because of their failure." My best friend is my brother Kyle and Dustin. They equal 1 whole brother since they're both brothers on my mother's side. I call my mother by her first name. She usually tells me to suck her dick.
Kyle is my defendant and accountant. Everybody outside of Kyle is the prosecution. The life police are always after material for prosecution. My brothers are my lawyers, both defendants, one accountant, and my consigliere. The consigliere does not work with the prosecution, but is sometimes on the proseuction's side.
I've always thought of Kyle as something like a Roman hedonist. I can imagine his paradise: lovely women, good music, a Valium pez dispenser, me, and his computer. Sounds good to me. I should dabble more in hedonism. I like the idea of it. Unending gratification of that FEED ME drive. I like to tell my body no just to spite it. It spites me. So everytime my body hurts, I punish his ass. My stomach hurts for a day or so, I refuse to eat until he stops growling. He stops after a couple of days.
My brother Kyle likes chicken sandwiches from Joes. He likes Marlboro Menthols and his girlfriend. I like wearing a clown hat and causing scandal. I am currently being paid by the government because of my amazing brand of insanity! Isn't he so fucking crazy? We should ban him from coming over here or become the Internet Paron Mason and turn his internet life into a fucking episode of Columbo. Why not crucify me for something that I have done to you directly instead of the behind my eye whispering bullshit? Maybe that doesn't exist and I'm talking to shit in my head. Even more evidence that my government certified crazy check is not paid in vain. I will do great service for my country for supporting me in my debilitating state of mental stasis. With God's help, and a little discipline, I'll shake this terrible affliction of mind. Pray for me, mother fuckers.
I'm not allowed to go to Joe's. I was thrown out because a friend of mine got caught stealing beer while I distracted the owner. I failed. The moron with me put the beer in his sock and they fell out.
I'm been thrown out of at least 20 Wal-Marts and other department stores. My enemies think I'm an amoral, lying, manipulative prankster. My loved ones think the same thing.
My son, Vincent, was born September 13th, 2007.
I grew up in Whitmire, SC and attended Park Street Elementary School until second grade. I was the class spelling bee champion in every grade attended besides third, the year I busted my head open. I was placed in a Gifted and Talented program in second grade, as the result of standardized testing. Later in the same year, I was accepted into Mensa and was allowed to take my SAT's. I have since been kicked out of Mensa. Too many pompous fucks run around in Mensa, as it is. I feel they're better off without another smug fuck high IQ type.
I make no direct claims to being intelligent or being a genius. I try to use all of my intelligence in everything I do. If intelligence is apparent, there it is. If it sounds genius, there it is. I make no claims on this about myself. Whether or not my intelligence is validated is nothing something anyone on myspace is capable of saying. I don't write to have my capabilities noted or apparent. I write because I have to. If I couldn't write, I'd, quite simply, go over the top insane again.
I do not think I'm a genius for being knowledgeable in the varied fields of learning. If memorization was the only requirement for genius, there'd be no new ideas or new distinctions. The current stupidities would circle the bowl and make everything else stagnant. Memorizing shit is not genius. It can lead to tools applicable when attempting to display genius. High-intelligence: high recall of information, visual memories, information consumption and practice. That is intelligence. Genius is only possible through active contribution to the fields. Level of genius is determined based on the value of the contribution. Nikola Tesla was a genius. Caravaggio was a genius. A genius first knows what isn't there. That is the beginning of genius. The fulfillment of genius is in the nature of contribution, what is there through action that wasn't prior.
I've tried to contribute. Memorizing textbooks for the sake of intelligence is absurdity. Memorizing the information contributed by past genius will never make a genius. If high IQ scores alone made a genius, I'd have retired after scoring over 200 a couple of times with a big head and a hard dick about my high intelligence quotient. That's the theme song for active stupidity that does nothing but repeat the genius of others instead of contributing anything.
IQ test scores indicate nothing but capability. Capability by itself is as worthless as incapability. If you're capable of something, show it. If not, don't talk about it.
I began drawing around the age of 5 and have done so since. Painting In third grade, I busted my head open outside of the school and severe headaches and hallucinations began.
I began to do nothing but disrupt my classes and probably have the single year suspension records at every school I've ever attended. In fifth grade, for selling cigarettes at school, I was placed in in-school suspension. During that time, all I did was either copy out of the dictionary or draw on my desk. Teachers never bothered me in school. As long as I completed my assignments, I could do whatever I wished. Assignments for an entire year could be completed, at that grade, within two-three weeks. After that you could sleep in class as much as you'd like. I tried to sleep in class as much as possible just so I could get to the next year's learning. In 5th grade, they gave me the material for the next three grades and allowed me to finish it at will. I had almost all of my credits for graduation when I was expelled for the possession of marijuana at school in September of 1999. My father / grandfather died the day my expulsion was made formal and never found out. I was glad. He'd have busted my ass.
Sleeplessness and insomnia began sometime after busting my head open at Carver Elementary School and got drastic after my father died. I was hospitalized on several hundred occasions for panic attacks, chest pains, and twice for overdosing on pain medication. (once accidental on lortabs, once intentional on morphine)
I got arrested on several occasions:
Underage possession of cigarettes. Penalty: community service for two weeks.
Underage possession of alcohol: community service for two days.
Prank phone calling the entire Newberry County phonebook: community service for 90 days.
Simple Possession of Marijuana: day in jail, expulsion from school.
Stealing mailboxes: 1 day of community service.
Placing satirical posters around town: night in jail, disorderly conduct charge.
Public intoxication: night in jail.
I prefer masturbation to sex, 9 times out of 10, because there's no one to disappoint. You don't have to tell any lies, either. Manual sperm removal is cheaper and more effective. It doesn't feel as good, but at least there's no special days to remember gifts for. If I don't get myself something for Valentines day, I won't refuse my hand later that night.
If you've never talked to me for more than an hour without interruption, you do not know me. That's the only way it happens and usually knowing me isn't that much of a treat. It's caused me nothing but trouble. The clown hat again, you see? It's easier than giving a shit about what I say about myself on a site full of people idolizing everything but themselves. Promoting other people's ideas instead of actually having any of their own. Posting a bunch of pictures of your idols in your about me doesn't really say much more than you like this. Doesn't attach any sentiment to it and doesn't reveal personality. It turns you into an archetype and once you're an archetype you're obsolete.
My favorite television show is the Twilight Zone.
I have written several novels and other forms of literature. they are available by private inquiry.
Amongst Men - Draft 2, 2004. first completed novel.
Digitalis - Draft 1, 2005 [novel], Draft 2, [novel] 2006. Different books entirely
Songs of Galilee - draft 1 [novel: part 3 of 5 of the Lizard's Tale], 2005, draft 2, 2006, final draft, 2007. Songs of Galilee is the closest novel I have to "100% finished." I also believe it to be the closest thing I've gotten to anything decent.
The Match Behind the Jar [novel: part 1 of 5 of the Lizard's Tale] - draft 1, 2005, draft 2, 2006
The Tower of Babble [novel: part 2 of 5 of the Lizard's Tale] Songs of Lalande - draft 1, 2006 [novella-Lizard's Tale prequel]
The Veil of Hestia - draft 1, [part 4 of 5 of the Lizard's Tale] 2006
The Hanger and the Hanged, [short story] 2005-2006
The Dream Machine - draft 1, 2007, beginning 2nd draft 2008 - [novel: part 5 of 5 of the Lizard's Tale]
The Old Guitarist - 2006 [short story]
Dream of the Louse - 2006 [short story]
Humanity in a Jar - 2006 [short story]
The Other side of Digitalis - draft 1, 2006
The Tower of Babble - draft 1, early 2007
Tree of Transmigration - [collected verses, poems, sketches] 2006 Phd in philosophy, 2006, Divisions in Ontology, The Sound the Tree Makes when No One's Listening: accrediting process: pending (bajaj
Phd in psychology, 2005, Equations in Freudian Psychologyaccrediting process: accredited
Phd in physics: 95% complete. should finish by 2009. Before the Big Bang (tentative) and the Behavior of Singularities
My Equations - 2006, [collected poems]
Untitled 1 - draft 1, late 2007 [beginning second draft 2008] The Thief - draft 1, late 2007 [beginning second draft 2008]
I've spent most of my life in the manner of a Buddhist hermit / dharma bum. Going out is not something that I enjoy. Nine times out of ten I'd prefer the company of my mattress to the company of a given person. Life in this town has always been a tragicomedy Soap Opera and I sometimes feel I've given too much information on myself to exist peacefully outside of it. I've always tried to hide myself behind a clown hat or intellectual pursuits such as writing. I wrote my first poem on a desk in elementary school. I wrote my first full length book at age 17, named it Time to Time, and lost it in a computer failure. At age 19, I moved to Myrtle Beach, SC to work at a tattoo shop with my biological father. I spent the first week living with my grandmother, father, and sister. I was kicked out after the first week and lived the next week in a hotel. I spent most of that time roaming around the shore on Morphine at night and sleeping during the day. I had money, but I didn't have anything to do but play guitar, and continue writing. I left Myrtle Beach and came back to Whitmire and began work on my second book. I wrote essays for lazy college students for a source of income. It paid for cigarettes, soda, prescription pills, and it allowed me to write. I wrote two books in 2004, 7 in 2005, 15 in 2006, and 2 in 2007. Since they were all written at concurrent time periods, the publication and editing of them has been severely delayed. I've turned down publication due to poor copy-editing on three or four occasions. All of my books and essays are available by request for free in .doc and .pdf format.
I've tried to be an artist, guitarist, essayist, philosopher, psychologist, novelist, biologist, physicist, and scholar in every subject there is. I've tried to contribute. I have spent most of my life gathering information for personal doctorates in English, psychology, philosophy, biology, and physics. As a result of so much reading and studying, most find me to be a terrible, disassociated smart ass. I believe such a suspicion is
I act without pride. I act without shame.
Anybody that has ever known me has helped me save one of my books or writings because of the nature of my computers. It seems as though every time I'm at the end of finishing another book, my computer dies and I have to scramble to get it all together again. By the time I do get it together, I've began work on too many new stories to even worry with the continued editing and publication of already finished works. I have three novels available for purchase by inquiry. It makes me uncomfortable to allow purchase of the books by anonymous buyers because of how much of myself I believe the writing reveals. If you want to get to know me, talk to me. You can message me on here, email me at [email protected] . To contact me on AOL instant messenger, you can message me under the screen name sllencl0. Or you could let me know what you think of the silly things I write, good or bad. Don't add me to your list if you have no intention of actually talking to me or add me for no reason at all.
yahoo: drbotep
Good song: