Quixotic Samurai

Kevin... A living God amongst men... Some say he was once able to destroy a 3 story building with a single punch. (The punch is only speculation as some say he simply looked at the building) Kevin's existence was first documented after he saved a school bus full of Nuns transporting orphaned Kittens to, ironically, orphaned children. According to eye witnesses the school bus was nearly lost when a sharp turn and a gust of wind sent the school bus toward the edge of a cliff in Wyoming known, also ironically, as "The Savior's Edge." There are also mixed reports that Kevin treated the orphan children to ice cream upon the return of the Nuns to the orphanage. Soon after the school bus incident reports of Kevin's actions began to appear throughout the Western US. From thwarting bank robberies to saving babies from burning structures 80 stories high to simply appearing with a jack and tire iron, Kevin had become an urban legend in the West. Yet not a single picture to identify him and witness accounts vague and confusing, even from those that had seen him directly. However in late 2003, reports of a different kind began to surface. Stories unlike the Kevin so many have come to know and love... Stories of a colder, infinitely more frightening Kevin. While Kevin's deeds did generally remain in the interest of Justice and that which is good and right in this world. Something was amiss. People began to fear the utterance of his name. Equal to that of, I apologize in advance readers, this is the only way to get my point across..... "Voldemort!" Once again I apologize, but to that incredible degree his name was feared. One would ask, how could such a fall from grace happen? Here is how... Scattered and unrelated reports of small vegetables and flowers exploding, when Kevin's deeds were recent. Also shortly after the summer of 2004 Kevin was seen carrying a Katana, and for a time, made the towns in passing feel secure knowing their legend would protect them. This sense of security was only short lived... Later a confrontation in an alley in which a teen girl had just been stripped of her clothes exposing her voluptuous and gravity bound breasts, an apparent 8 man gang rape attempt was underway. Kevin arrived before any physical trauma was incurred and left only the girl alive to tell this tale. Of the pair of men who had their bodies left intact, the coroner reported that, "The 8 men were killed in a gruesome unmerciful fashion. The majority of them were dismembered while the others were thrown through brick walls into adjacent buildings... they had to have been hit with an object of immense weight and speed... some died because their organs were crushed from the inside... one of them actually exploded, I don't even know how you do that..." The teenage girl claimed only "one man... in a trench coat... with a sword... A man unlike the Kevin I was raised to believe in..." It was later found that the girl is question had climaxed twice during the killings, yet remains a virgin to this day.

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