Kelly profile picture

Kelly

I am here for Networking

About Me

I'm unemployed, I live with my parents, I can't drive, I'm frigid, and I have nothing on the horizon. Hi there, I'm Kelly. Armed with a fierce new iniative, I'm here to introduce to you - humiliation - like it's never been paraded before. History has seen us salute beauty and talent, success and co-ordination. But not on my shift, sweethearts! And here's what's happening. The woe-be-gone, the wretched, the clumsy, the retarded the lop sided, the asymmetrical,the clinically unattractive, and the inarticulate! --- presenting your new heros. It's a walk being hot, a picnic being melodious, and heaven on a stick having talent. And you kiddies reward it with your slack jawed applause. From here on in, you spot a retarded fella feeding soda into his ear drum, you give him a standing ovation!You're familiar with standing for melodious poets. Too easy. Try not being able to pronounce "co-ordination" without having it drool onto your left shoulder. You follow the beautiful. Too easy being the dandy result of a fortunate genetic combination. Try never having seen your flushed & insignificant pecker on account of your gargantuan gut eclipsing that poor little prick. You honour success. Too easy hailing an industry that was built with your little working hands in mind; trading your time for a currency so you can rent some polished floor boards. Try having to piss out of your asshole because your bits were nuked off in one of dem big bad wars. Now that's a job.Celebrating your splendour, has officially wearied me. The time is nigh for the act of the anti act. Come all ye wretched.So the next time egg is dancing on your face, and you can taste the flavour of foot in your mouth -- I'll be here, hailing you with a high five, and a good ol fashioned thumbs up.
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My Interests

The wretched, the retarded, the glorious, the downfall of the glorious, the uprise of the retarded, the art of defying near impossible odds, how people - who kill for money - spend it, intentionally orchestrated social antaganism, the study of sex in survival situations, humour used as ploy during the holocaust, jews who gave cheek to Nazis and faced dire consequences, being the brunt of elaborate practical jokes, awkwardness, analyzing Myspace relationships and drawing far fetched conclusions, controversy, kittens, writing master pieces, creating super heros, old school glam rock, magic, writhing in lagoons, mysterious conversations in cabins, montages, being outraged, despising techno, sitcoms, karaoke, evil genius, being shocked and boats. img src="http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/encore_02/peta. jpg"

I'd like to meet:

img src="http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/encore_02/nazi. jpg"

Music:

Def Leppard, Guns n Roses, Spinal Tap, Whitesnake, Aerosmith, Twisted Sister, ACDC, Poison, WolfMother, Elvis, Kiss, Alice Cooper, Johnny Cash, Led Zepplin, Samantha Fox, New Orleans gravelly blues, Barbara Streisand, The Doors, old school Bon Jovi, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, Elton John, Billy Joel, sitcom theme songs. Death to techno.

Movies:

img src="http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/encore_02/anima tion.gif"

Television:

img src="http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/encore_02/Dartb oard.jpg"

Books:

img src="http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n250/encore_02/small montage.jpg"

Heroes:

The retarded, the gang greenis, the bung eyed, the third degree burnt, the jewish community, Andy Kaufman, John Safran, Howard Stern, Michael Moore and Sarah Silverman. You want to know about humiliation??! I tried to woo Johnny Safran with talk of goidas, and a promise to convert to Judaism. Rejected.

My Blog

21 Things I Want You to Slurp Up.

1.  That little Playboy bunny symbol is oh so cute and sexy, ain't it ladies?  Here's why you won't see me sashaying down the rickety streets of the eastern subs with my PB hand bag, and dia...
Posted by Babe Encore on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 09:18:00 PST

I'm Taking Cunt Back.

Cunt.   It makes the ladies weep, and the gentlemen grimmace. That little word was designed monosyballically to pack the ultimate punch, and look at that --- it hit you square in your slack jawed...
Posted by Babe Encore on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 08:44:00 PST

Oh dear. It appears I was Punked.....YET again.

Now, you would assume that after all of said shannanigans, that  my suspicion senses would be on red alert.  It appears however, that once a sucker......Gullible?!  I pronounce it thus...
Posted by Babe Encore on Sun, 12 Nov 2006 12:16:00 PST

The REAL conclusion to the Tattoo fiasco! Scandelous!

Well.....it did say it was TEMPORARY.After damning Melissa and Sonya, after spreading the word of her trechory and betrayal, after all of the insanity ------ last night - Melissa uttered two little wo...
Posted by Babe Encore on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 08:25:00 PST

The Conclusion to The Tattoo Tale.

The tattoo was real.I've been asked not to mention it anymore. Will you look at that?  I officially lost my sense of humour. ...
Posted by Babe Encore on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:14:00 PST

The Tattoo Scandel - More Madness!

Aha!Perhaps the Temporary ain't so permanent after all!An elaborate gag??!  I am on the case!  I got a tip off.  The offending picture of the tattoo was sent on the 4th of Novemeber!&nb...
Posted by Babe Encore on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:39:00 PST

Melissa's Twisted Betrayal!

Allow me to prefice this twisted rant with an acknowledgment.  I realise its' petty nature, I recognize the ludicrousy of it, and  generally encourage a good caper, or mad capped scheme. &nb...
Posted by Babe Encore on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 07:17:00 PST

The Humiliation Fraud Romp - Secrets Revealed!

The people have spoken, and these whacky gimps ain't happy.  Here, strapped into their bleak and yet observant opinion,  they find themselves being both right & wrong simultansously.&nbs...
Posted by Babe Encore on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:13:00 PST