I'm unemployed, I live with my parents, I can't drive, I'm frigid, and I have nothing on the horizon. Hi there, I'm Kelly. Armed with a fierce new iniative, I'm here to introduce to you - humiliation - like it's never been paraded before. History has seen us salute beauty and talent, success and co-ordination. But not on my shift, sweethearts! And here's what's happening. The woe-be-gone, the wretched, the clumsy, the retarded the lop sided, the asymmetrical,the clinically unattractive, and the inarticulate! --- presenting your new heros.
It's a walk being hot, a picnic being melodious, and heaven on a stick having talent. And you kiddies reward it with your slack jawed applause. From here on in, you spot a retarded fella feeding soda into his ear drum, you give him a standing ovation!You're familiar with standing for melodious poets. Too easy. Try not being able to pronounce "co-ordination" without having it drool onto your left shoulder. You follow the beautiful. Too easy being the dandy result of a fortunate genetic combination. Try never having seen your flushed & insignificant pecker on account of your gargantuan gut eclipsing that poor little prick.
You honour success. Too easy hailing an industry that was built with your little working hands in mind; trading your time for a currency so you can rent some polished floor boards. Try having to piss out of your asshole because your bits were nuked off in one of dem big bad wars. Now that's a job.Celebrating your splendour, has officially wearied me. The time is nigh for the act of the anti act. Come all ye wretched.So the next time egg is dancing on your face, and you can taste the flavour of foot in your mouth -- I'll be here, hailing you with a high five, and a good ol fashioned thumbs up.
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