Hello my name is Dave. I guess there are weird things about me but then I am normal. In reality it just all depends on what I talk about. I am ashamed of what i have done but not ashamed of who I am. I guess I can see my mistakes and forgive myself for them but i am aware they were wrong.
I have a few contradictions about myself which I am aware of and believe I can explain but I am just not sure. I used to hide things about myself, however recently I have started revealing everything about myself and it is incredibly liberating. So I refuse to stop.
My past is full of pride and shame humiliation and glory. My pride is my shame, my humiliation my glory. Contradictions do exist and this will make sense later.
When I was very young I was diagnosed with autism, the prognosis was not good they predicted that I would never outgrow the mental age of 6 (sometimes it says 7 in places but I really don’t see the significance of the difference).
My mother been who she was took her usual attitude towards the situation that she was going to learn as much as possible to give me the best chance she could. on having read the books and ideas of the experts she eventually decided they didn’t make sense, and they don’t. She searched the country up and down for different opinions and eventually formed an idea with a great deal of help from a couple. (the man is dead now and the women is funny about her name been mentioned publicly hence why I don’t mention names) the idea worked years later I have hangovers of my autism but I am cured.
I am now a student at the university of Birmingham studying philosophy.
what am I ashamed of and what am I proud of? As I said before, my pride is my shame and vice versa. I am ashamed and embarrassed of how I used to be mentally handicapped I am proud of having overcome it, though really I don’t think I did anything special I think my mum and those round me did but I think I just took the ride and sat back.
I blew last year at university and lost control. and now have to repeat the year. was I stupid no. was it my fault yes and no things happened but I should have been stronger and handled them better. I wont make the same mistakes again.
My biggest problem in live is motivating myself and I don’t know why. Sometimes I just struggle to I am incredibly ambitious and fully intend to do great things but never get round to it.
I have ambitions to be great and make a huge difference to the world. some people think its a complex that, because all my life people have looked down on me and underestimated me, and in many cases still do so, i have a desire to prove them wrong and that’s the real reason I want to make a difference.
well yes and no again. There is that it is there. however there is more to it then that. i believe I am able to make a difference and want to because people need help in this world. i also believe that if i did it would be like a great work of art a total pure expression of the buety in relation to the philosophy i so strongly embrace. Which I intend to add a huge thing to my blogg regarding at some point when i get round to it.
