Busta profile picture

Busta

I'll bite you.

About Me

I've pretty much been wreaking havoc for almost two years straight now. I am skilled at using nunchuckoos and other instrumentalities of death, but the Providers won't let me own any weapons (those fucking bastards also took away my front claws, so my favorite move, the FLYING SWAT, is out). Accordingly, I work a lot on sharpening my teeth. I bite really hard. I bite the Providers' friends when they come over just to embarass those assholes. I act all sweet when nobody is around and then I turn into a maniac as soon as they have company. It drives them nuts because when their friends says how crazy I am, they try to defend me and everybody thinks they're fucking morons because my actions are clearly indefensible. Just when they are thinking about getting rid of me or shooting me in the head, I lay on the charm and purr and act like they mean something to me. Humans are so fucking stupid.

My Interests

Vomiting on brand new carpets, hissing at guests, biting humans, kicking cats in the face with my back claws while holding their heads in place with my front paws, knocking shit off of tables, working out, studying Slovak history, playing with crumpled up receipts and other wadded paper formations, kicking the shit out of my fat brother, maxin' and illin' with friends.

I'd like to meet:

Humans with salty skin. I'm also presently interested in meeting other felines skilled at terrorizing humans. I'm additionally thinking of starting a cat dojo, the goal of which will of course be to train cats to humiliate and irritate their human owners. If you have any input on that front, drop me a line (I'm particularly seeking investors--serious inquiries only).

Music:

I like classical music because it helps me relax and focus on my malicious plots, though I'm pretty much at the mercy of the Providers (and they usually listen to shit).

Movies:

Rambo, the Karate Kid and Bruce Lee films.

Television:

I only watch tennis (I love tennis balls) and Bruce Lee documentaries. All other television is crap.

Books:

The Art of War by Sun Tzu and How to Drive Your Owners Insane by Muffin.

Heroes:

Bruce Lee.