bERfs

Born in 1984, location unknown. At age two contracted testicular elephantitus from the family pet igauna. At Age three was sent away to the local circus sideshow, due to my families constant public humiliation and verbal torture. This was where I met my midget siamese twin wife Bertruce Vergola (at age 5). Spent 15 of my years in a cage with only a milk crate as a seat and a busted up floral ironing board as a table. At age 21 I was dismissed from the circus after producing a beautiful baby boy with Bertruce, resulting in a being far uglier and deformed that I had ever ever imagined and ever strived to be. Therefore resulting in the termination of my employment. I now live as an outcast, roaming this harsh earth for the next vinnie bin to call my humble bed. God speed to you brave soldier.