Paul

On February 20th 1987, nineteen of the worlds greatest minds came together to create a super human. A man so great the God's would fear his name. A man with the intellectual capacity of Stephen Hawkings times 7. A man who could calculate Pi to 17,000 decimal places, whilst drinking a pint of pure vodka... Through his ear drum.At the age of 2 he had already read the readers times encyclopedia of the world 4 times, and learnt 29 languages, including his own language which he developed, which is 19 times more efficient than English and can be spoken without use of the lips or tongue.At the age of 4 he was already grade 8 in anything which was even nearly considered an instrument. He also combined his five favourite instruments into one, the piano, guitar, flute, sax and banjo. He called it the Puitflaxjo. On which he created the most beautiful song ever. This song was immediately banned as anyone who heard it would instantly die due to the loss of water when crying.At the age of 6 he had formed his own Utopian society, which was on a small island just off Anglesey. This society known as Bosstopia soon had over 1 million members were crime, disease and gypos were nowhere to be seen.At the age of 10 he had learnt everything there was to learn, destroyed any theory there was about anything and discovered the real truth behind religion, science, and life.At the age of 12 he started his tour of the Universe, on his self created skin-powered space vessel.At the age of 18 he fell into the Atlantic Ocean after an argument with a whale and was never seen again.Paul Grainger was found washed up on the shore off Crosby, Liverpool some time in the summer of 2005.His now cousin, Kieran Shudall discovered him and adopted him into the family, giving him to his auntie to look after and mould into the gentleman he is today.