Beth [dysfunctional]

im 18. im still waiting for the so called "freedom" thats supposed to come. i go to kingswood tafe, studying children services, which i love.
i say and do what i want and your approval is never needed.
the last few months have made me very independent, and i dont care if people dont like that about me, its who i am now.
people in my life tell me that i should come with a warning label, i agree.
i like doing things the way i like and it throws me off when its done differently.
i am very sarcastic.
i love grand gestures.
i have a short fuse, but believe it or not its getting better.
i am obsessive with things that other people dont understand, but i love it.
it beyond pisses me off that nearly everything in life has become about sex.
its the little things that matter, and the little things that get me through.
i do have trust issues, its nothing personal against you, its just my problems.
i get along better with guys, i find they arent so bitchy.
i have moments when im incredibly serious and others when im childish and bouncing of the walls, my moods change very easily and quickly.
there is only a few things that calm me down and get me through life: my music, my writing, my quotes, my random creative outbursts and my computer.
my two best friends are very important to me, they guide me through so many things, i have known one for seven years and i completely adore him, the other is my cousin so he is important to me on two levels, he listens to me when no one else will, those boys are my world... no matter how much the bug me. I'm so sick and tired of acting like I'm fine because truthfully, I'm not. I can't even talk to you without being so incredibly sad. You were the one person who was always supposed to be there for me, my best friend, my everything.. and you ruined it all in that moment. And I acted like it didn't hurt, and for a while, I didn't think it did...but the tears are here and I now realize that it hurt more than anything in the world.