Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom

About Me

Oxygen (65%) Carbon (18%) Hydrogen (10%) Nitrogen (3%) Calcium (1.5%) Phosphorus (1.0%) Potassium (0.35%) Sulfur (0.25%) Sodium (0.15%) Magnesium (0.05%) Copper, Zinc, Selenium, Molybdenum, Fluorine, Chlorine, Iodine, Manganese, Cobalt, Iron (0.70%) Lithium, Strontium, Aluminum, Silicon, Lead, Vanadium, Arsenic, Bromine (trace amounts)

I adopted a cute lil' viking fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

My Interests

Picking up the recently deceased corpse and sucking the juices from its warm, steamy flesh, nabbing its tender bits between my front teeth, dragging its moist heart through gouts of heavily seasoned mayonaise before biting clean through it and working the pulpy stuff through my back teeth. Dearest artichoke...my interest is you.

I'd like to meet:

Smokin' hot Swedes with oiled limbs.

Movies:

Return to Oz

Heroes:

My Jama.

My Blog

Don't feel dissed if I don't call you back right away.

Okay, I will be unreachable by phone or email until Sunday afternoon on account of the fact that I will be camping in Boondocks, Louisiana with some friends (and a couple of people I don't really know...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Fri, 18 May 2007 08:59:00 PST

Spiracles are sexy

Omigod. I was perusing MySpace just now (really exercising my not-too-deeply-hidden voyuer) when I saw one of those horrible "SMACK THE ROACH AND GET A FREE RINGTONE" ads. But then I reali...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Fri, 14 Jul 2006 11:21:00 PST

3 sentences and one conveys nothing.

Well. Well, well, well. I've been on the planet for 23 years now. That is approximately 2798 generations of flies, 103 dog years and $8420 at a dollar a day.&nbs...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:04:00 PST

And my sweatshirt is awfully big.

So, I am living in New Mexico for the time being. It is pretty good, actually. However, isn't it fun to see how quickly you can regress to the age of 14 when you live with your parents?&nb...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 02:06:00 PST

HOT

Well.....Oh well. I am a college graduate living in a world of resturant jobs and stifling heat. It is so hot here that when I go outside, my leave-in conditioner melts down my face and my lotio...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Happiness is....

Has anyone seen "You're a good man, Charlie Brown"? Well, there is a song in it where all the animated, parentless children stand around and croon that happiness is "finding a pencil, knowing a secre...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

ODE TO A BROKEN PANTLEG

Oh sweet Calvin Klein jeans Your bun adhering ability so profound I mourn your passing And your painted-on appearance I tried to take you on a split leap After that huge keg party Your scream ...
Posted by Valiant Milquetoast of Dhoom on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST