Max Worrall Esq. profile picture

Max Worrall Esq.

halfmaxhalfbiscuit

About Me

Two horses walk into a bar. One asks the other if he can order him a pint of bitter. So the one horse goes to the bar and orders a jack daniels and coke and a pineapple juice. The other horse isnt happy, and before horse number one can recite his punchline, horse two viciously beats horse one about the head with a five inch pianist, possibly.


My Interests

Television:

TV rules. Let it consume you. Don't go out and ride a skateboard or go travelling. Whats the point? You'll only miss your favourite shows.

My Blog

A 3-in-1 cheese-board of half delights

A. My fly has no nose. B. Really? How does it smell? A. Well, it has a thousand eyes, so that compensates a little.***************************************************** ********************************...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Thu, 31 May 2007 08:38:00 PST

annoying the living shit out of you

 Hello! How are you? How can i annoy the living shit out you today? Shall i drink a 2-litre bottle of own-brand cherryade outside your house for you? I can own a german shepherd, or perhaps make ...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 12:25:00 PST

Colin Cheedle's Perusals, part 3

*parts one and two to be found at dave malcolm and matt poultons myspaces*There he was...unable to differentiate between a cleaning-product based hallucanation and his own reality...Colin saw off his ...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 08:32:00 PST

Things that i am.

I'm the roll of bubble wrap already popped, the coffee creams left in the quality street, the extremely late reply on msn, the extra bonus enhanced tracks when you bought the original cd two weeks ago...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 11:22:00 PST

Some More Bleeding Crap.

I slept on a bed of nails and got a crick in me neck, i was focused for the next day though because i had to go and download the next uproaringly hilarious mobile phone clip of an animal swearing. I t...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 12:15:00 PST

Having A Laugh

Walk, crisps, unhealthy, no photos, wrestle, cds i regret, regrets i regret, laugh, references, sleepy, puppet, winter coat, poor eyes, cracked eggs to make an ommlette, magazine, book, book with pict...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 08:34:00 PST

My Stupid Dream

I woke up from having a dream and i couldnt concentrate the next day, for it was very powerful. The dream was that i was out on a date with Becky, (i forget her surname to my shame) who ive met probab...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 10:46:00 PST

consolidate, etc

Consolidate your debts into one easy payment by paying your bills on time and in full. Your home is at risk if you do not put water on it if it catches fire. Fire beats wood, wood floats on water, but...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 08:35:00 PST

the "it was me" crap everyone liked

Have you been hurt in an accident? Not your fault? Worried about claiming compensation and hidden charges? Waaaa. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I probably hate you, and i dont even know you. It was me who ran...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Tue, 13 Jun 2006 02:13:00 PST

More things.

Yo, something new to write eh...just in case everyone thought i was a bit "zany". I wish Half Man Half Biscuit toured more, the miserable bastards. One bleeding little show in Sheffield, i aint going ...
Posted by Max Worrall Esq. on Wed, 10 May 2006 01:13:00 PST