AIM SCREEN NAME -- jsmooth614. IM for a super good time. thnx
ME (IN A NUTSHELL)
I'm Jordan: tough guy, fake guitarist, call-you-out evangelist, military industrial complex and a taco. I do stand up. I read The Economist. I pretend to be smart. I'm a web developer/SEO analyst/accountant. I can't talk to girls. I liked tator-tots before Napolean Dynamite made them cool (read: uncool). And I wear the same white hoody every single day.
WHERE I LIVE
I lived in Bexley. Now I live in Dayton. Both places blow. There's basically only two things to do here in Dayton: television and suicide. It goes without saying, the latter is what I do on most Saturday evenings. Also: my couch breaks all the time.
YOU SHOULD READ THIS
Like every other standard profile on myspace, I feel that I should tell everyone that I don't like fakers (I like real-ers.) So if you're not real (i.e. fake) , please don't talk to me. But you can friend me...just don't talk to me in REAL LIFE. Also, just like everyone else on myspace, I am really outspoken and I PRETEND to give it to you straight. Of course, I just say that to mask my own insecurities; also, I use my upfrontness as a defense mechanism because I don't know how to communicate with others -- except online, but that really isn't REAL communication, now is it? I take things very personally, so even though I can talk shit about you, please don't do it about me. Also, don't insult Che Gevaura or anything that's bro. And if you friend me, you better have a naked a picture of yourself that you took in front of the mirror. I also like politics. Even though I lack the skills to reason abstractly, I can still parrot talking points force fed to me by politcal pundits.
I'm also looking for an online girlfriend who is fun, sexy, sassy, and has a penis and facial hair. If you're interested, please read below to make sure you fit the qualifications.
READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME
Requirements: Woman, or look-alike woman. Nice rack. Big ass. Heavy. Black. Manly. Scars. Two ass cracks (possibly, second one on forhead).
THINGS OF EXTRA IMPORTANCE
My brother writes reviews of things. YOU SHOULD READ THEM...HERE: Interetcetera.com.
