Jesus † profile picture

Jesus †

Its good to be back!

About Me

Hi my full name is Jesus Trevor Christ and i currently reside in Wix, Essex, England CO11 2**. I had a troubled upbringing and ive only met my real dad once. Joseph (my step-dad) was pretty cool but he didn't hang around long because my mum was a proper slag and not many people in Bethlehem hadn't had a bit of her by the time we left. When i was 8 she exchanged me for some 'Thrush B Gone' at a chemists and was consequently sold on to a couple of potato farmers. It was hard work but made me the ripped bad-ass i am today. When i got tired of the endless ploughing and planting i decided to quit the farm and go into the Miracle business, and thats what i still do today. Despite a slight mis-understanding when i was crucified its been all good, and now during my second coming i'm recruiting you guys to believe in me and eventually the world will be mine! All Hail J.C.

My Interests

hanging from my hands and ankles, wondering the earth, performing miracles that can be scientifically replicated, beard competitions, bathing in ass milk, world domination.

I'd like to meet:

Any Gods or special beings, Lion-o of the Thundercats, Jayce of Wheeled Warrior fame, Denver the last dinosaur, and Flash Gordon (the one from 'Defenders of the Earth' not the one from the self titled live action movie).

Music:

The 'Lords Prayer' to the melody of 'Regulate' by Warren G.

Movies:

The Shawshank Jesus, Top Jesus, The Green Jesus, Days of Jesus, The Texas Chainsaw Jesus, Lethal Jesus, Lethal Jesus II, Indiana Jesus(all 3), Me Myself and Jesus, Jesus Does Dallas, Starsky & Jesus.

Television:

The Christianity Channel, BBC Jew, Sky Sports.

Books:


If your bothering to read this then please write me a comment involving a goat. That way i know you are a true friend of Jesus.

Heroes:

Colonel Sanders

My Blog

Prayer Guide...

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Posted by Jesus † on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:24:00 PST

Dean & Sonnys Big Treasure Hunt

Part 1 - The Kings Head It was friday, 9pm to be precise and two weary travellers entered 'The Kings Head Inn', Tollesbury, Maldon, Essex.  The evening was like any other and the place was ...
Posted by Jesus † on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 07:08:00 PST