Black Kerouac profile picture

Black Kerouac

About Me


scrill gates
aka Money Rollins
...i invented the 360 wave...i occasionally float...i bleed Open Pit...I climbed half of mt. everest, then quit because I didn't feel challenged...not only did i invent beer, I invented the glass bottle, "suds", and the concept of intoxication...I guarded michael jordan in '88...he didn't score...I was one rebound away from a triple double with 4 minutes left in the game...I took myself out because I had a prizefight with Mike Tyson later that night and I wanted to be fresh...I created ranch dressing...when Columbus "discovered" America, I was already there hand-crafting gold herringbones...I invented the letter "j", giving you classic words like jalapeno and Jasikevicius, and such timeless songs as "Jam On It" and "Welcome to the Jungle"...my face was originally on the $100 dollar bill, but it was removed after it was deemed "Too Hard for Circulation"...to this day, everybody at "Cheers" knows my name...I have a weed plant that grows perfectly rolled blunts...and I have a small "lighter tree" growing right next to it...I can beat the original "Contra" on one life...in under 10 minutes...under 8 if I have a NES Advantage...so even though i discovered the code to get 30 lives, i never needed to use it...I ghost write for MF Doom...I was on the first episode of "The Real Gilligan's Island" but I was disqualified for getting off that bitch too quickly...I was mayor of Detroit, but I was impeached when I put a nugget ring on the Joe Louis fist...during the 80's, I thrilled wrestling fans everywhere under the alias "The Iron Sheik"...even Sammy Hagar drives 55 when I say so...
some of my design work:
some photography...

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 29/04/2005
Band Members:

yeah, she gets two pics...

Influences:

john coltrane
miles davis
stevie wonder
joy division
donald byrd
portishead
the electrifying mojo
hunter s. thompson
philip roth
kurt vonnegut
albert camus
coleman a. young
ed harris
moses scurry
philip seymour hoffman
poison clan
malcolm x
sgt. tremaine "night train" lane
keyser soze
bill the butcher
the silver surfer
jason and the wheeled warriors
reefer madness
lonnie liston smith
hadley caliman
david lynch
dee dowis
rosebudd (with two "d's" for a double dose of that pimpin')
fillmore slim
george "big bonanza" costanza
charles bronson
mouse
lyman woodard
biz markie
will ferrell
cassandra and cossandra rutherford
spike lee
the mooninites
gaspar noe
lil' ze
mc pee pants
sir loin
peter griffin
ernesto "che" guevara
the original "iron" mike tyson
the '88-'90 detroit pistons
the current detroit pistons
"sweet" lou whitaker
"hitman" tommy hearns
the iron sheik
the great space coaster
the merciless amir
glen rice
Type of Label: Major

My Blog

A heartfelt thank you to the creators of The Shield.

I'd like to formally thank whoever was behind the creation of The Shield for giving me an opportunity to hate my own people for one hour every Tuesday night. I felt like Clayton Bigsby after last nigh...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:26:00 GMT

The 10 Crap Commandments.

Let's face it...we've all been there. You feel that old familiar rumble...maybe you just ate a Hot Pocket, or perhaps a bacon burger dog...whatever the reason, you gotta pinch a loaf and it's not try...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 17:13:00 GMT

I Walk The Line.

I just realized why it is that I love movies. I just checked out Walk The Line, the Johnny Cash story. Now I've never been a Johnny Cash fan...I always dug a couple of his songs, and I always though...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:30:00 GMT

The Silver Bullet

If you've been watching the NBA playoffs, you have no doubt seen the Coors Light Silver Bullet commercial at least 3,000 times. You may have found yourself thinking, "what, exactly, is this Silver Bu...
Posted by on Wed, 24 May 2006 18:04:00 GMT

Newport Pleasure!!!

Truth in advertising is important to me. I just got off the phone with the homie J Full and we got to talking about Newports. Ahhhh....sweet, mellow Newport smoke...an intoxicating blend of cat piss...
Posted by on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 20:14:00 GMT

Inside Man: the Ten Point Review

1. Spike Lee is probably the best director working. The pacing of this movie was very well done, and there were bursts of shocking violence, although there was actually very little violence in the m...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 18:41:00 GMT

...they still make Tab?

Remember Tab, the nasty diet cola from the 70's and 80's?...apparently, they still make that shit.  Crazy.  I was driving to work and saw a billboard for it.  I had absolutely no idea t...
Posted by on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 11:53:00 GMT

rest in peace.

this dilla shit got me kinda fucked up. without dilla, you'd have no SV, no "Players", no "Get Dis Money", no Waajeed, no neo-soul, no music to ride downtown to on a spring night, no "Didn't Cha Know...
Posted by on Sat, 11 Feb 2006 07:27:00 GMT

scrill gates' glossary of housing terms

I've been trying to find myself a place to stay for the past few weeks, and I'd like to share just a few of the things I've learned in my search. "Cozy" means the place is tiny. "Petite" means the pla...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 16:09:00 GMT

random whore photo of the week

courtesy of the homie H.
Posted by on Tue, 24 Jan 2006 21:37:00 GMT