maffyoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO profile picture

maffyoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

your toilet was broken but i fixed it now

About Me

i am a beard with an idiot hanging off it

i mostly enjoy doing fiendish su doku puzzles

i also enjoy going to reading festival but not with the people below. i am not joking. no i am really. actually... nah.im matt, im cool, im in my last year at sheffield doing mechanical engineering writing a fucking lame ass thesis on the aerodynamics of airborne faeces. its the worst course in the world not only because its rock solid but because 99% of the people who do it are blokes. and this is the bit where someone makes a comment about me loving male genitals. that last 1% consists of gingers and just butch lesbians which does nothing for my mojo. i like drinking beer through THE INEBRIATOR, because its funny and i like beer. i go to that place called corp far too much but i've found recently that im just not brutal enough for the kids these days. i think its funny when i see lego man hair cut on a scenster, i mean... i loved lego when i was a kid but i didnt love it THAT much. my current ambition is to drink every single beer that is available for purchase in the best pub ever: the devonshire cat. obviously not all in one go. but in doing so i shall become a true beer connoisseur. my 2nd life ambition is to grow a handle-bar moustache. that would be megalolz would it not?i can't believe i've wasted time writing this when i could have been browsing for porn, mostly involving excessively hairy chinese midgets. finally i'd like to say facebook can die a horrible fiery second death in the depths of hell.

a couple more things i feel i should bring to your attention...

and

thank you for your time.

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My Interests

football, vegitating in front of the tv, being a twat, listening to loud heavy music that makes my ears bleed all over the place, making my electric guitar squeal, going down the pub with the lads (particularly when guinness is at a reasonable price), eating loads of really shitty food thats really bad for me; but going to gym to burn off those excess calories and thus maintain my immaculate physique. going to reading festival, spending money i dont have, smearing poo on people, warcraft III, laughing at scene and emo kids and this is what rich reckons i do in my free time. and he's right. what a brilliant hobby i have

I'd like to meet:

no one. people are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling

actually, i'd love to meet racist homophobes, an adolf hitler look-a-like, ricky gervais and the gang, matt stone and tray parker, the queen, friar tuck, mr hankey, paul daniels, carol vorderman, matt bellamy, bear grylls and a walking talking real life taco that poops ice cream.

oh and i'd like to meet a really really long version of myself:

Music:

...IS GONNA FUCK YOU UP!

also in the mix: general metallllll including plenty of death metal, black metal, some more thrash... some hardcore punk, some ska punk and some pop punk. can't argue with some nu-metal classics either when im wrecked.

Movies:

team america world police, south park, all the monty python movies, lord of the rings, sin city, a clockwork orange, ghostbusters I & II, batman, the shining, the truman show, american pie and loads others i cant think of but they are really good, i just have rubbish memory.

Television:

most daytime tv and soaps. deal or no deal, cash in the attic, countdown, ready steady cook, neighbours, home and away, hollyoaks, eastenders etc. i love south park possibly more than any other tv show/cartoon ever made and also anything involving ricky gervais cuz the man is an actual king! oh and i like lost a lot. other than that, if im at home, i just watch scuzz or kerrang

Books:

his dark materials by phillip pullman is pretty good. all roald dahl books are legendary... the magic finger! how awesome is that?! georges marvellous medicine gets a thumbs up too. oh and last but not least...thermodynamics - an engineering approach by cengel and boles. thats just a treat to read. woo HARRY FUCKING POTTER. basically i like kids books.

Heroes:

transformers: robots in disguise. skeletor, muum-ra the everliving, harold bishop, matt bellamy, bernard manning, ricky gervais

OHHHH WHAT A RUSH!!!!

legion of doom: wrestling legends.