I'm the type of person who never can think of things to write in "about me" things on internet profiles, aside from the fact that I'm totally awesome in my awesomeness, in a thoroughly awesome way. Yeah, I'm probably cooler than you are, with your goddamn emo hair, "trucker hats," and ironic hipster $20 t-shirts with silk-screened designs made to look like iron-on letters. I probably don't like you. Man, I'm mean on the internet. The internet deserves it, though. Fucking MySpace. Bah. Shut up, get a job, pull your pants up, and listen to more Judas Priest. And Voivod. Lots of Voivod, especially the stuff after they quit being generic speed metal, got all weird, and all the mullet-heads abandoned them. But not that godawful Pink Floyd cover they did. Although the terms "godawful" and "Pink Floyd" are redundant. Anyway, Nothingface and the self-titled one with the dude from Metallica are good. Get those. Also, if you consider yourself politically knowledgeable because you can regurgitate anything Michael Moore, Rush Limbaugh, Noam Chomsky, Anne Coulter, etc. says, I will fucking kill you. Like seriously, I'll do it with one of those slapjack things. It's like a leather handle with big chunks of metal sewn into it. It's awesome. Don't spam your band to me, don't try and send me any online petitions, don't preach to me about how I need to find Jesus, don't preach to me about how "Christians suk, dood," don't mention The Darkness, AFI, Good Charlotte, or Silkk the Shocker in my presence, and don't ask me "dude, how can you not like Lamb of God!?"
I don't like you. Go away.
