Hi. I'm Noel. Unless you're really interested or you have some free time, I'd recommend that you skip everything that is written below this point.
Also: I don't know why, but I am one of the happiest people alive.
I like those popsicles that you buy and freeze yourself. I don't think there's any harm in looking dapper.
I find it a little irritating when one shoe is tied tighter than the other. Then you have to try to even them up, which never works.
I like the words misanthropic , calumniatory , acerbic , acrimonious , jaundiced , cagey , aporetic , cavillous , atrabilious , trenchant , eremitic , contumelious , irascible , jet-set , churlish , and saturnine . Though not necessarily in that order.. and that's not all... that's just a random batch. Come on... saturnine.
You don't know anyone like me. Or is it you don't know anyone that likes me? I suppose the odds are both are true.
Unless you know me, in which case the first one is obviously false, and unless you dislike me -- or are unaware of yourself, in which cases the second one is false too. So I guess all I can really say with any authority is "you don't know" before it starts going downhill. Stop me if I'm being humorous -- no seriously, I'm allergic. Ahahaha, such wit such insight...
Who am I kidding here, there's no risk of anyone stopping me anytime soon.
**It has been brought to my attention that I must elucidate; No, I am not really allergic to humor.
I'm the fellow who runs up out of nowhere and throws a bucket of conversation all over you because your coat is made out of helpless baby ideas. Before you know it you're covered in dialogue and you can't get the stink of discourse off of your skin. You've been warned.
Probably the best way to be my friend is read messages I send to you and then let them sit with no intention of replying whatsoever. That's probably the optimum strategy.
One of my coworkers aptly said, "It's funny because even members of your family don't seem to know what to make of you."
I communicate a lot. Very few of the things I do leave me with tangible evidence or reward. I possess a love of knowledge and twin talents -- equally formidable -- to avoid responsibility [when it suits me] and rationalize mistakes [if necessary]. Additionally, I am fully aware that these two talents will in all likelihood complicate my life a great deal and despite this awareness do nothing to change them. When cornered by unavoidable obligation I approach it in a pragmatic fashion and with little regard for individual expression [my own]. It is important to note that I am not exactly irresponsible; I like to think of it as being situationally dutiful. If I am not taking something seriously there are probably reasons aside from the obvious -- examples being that I have knowledge which supercedes the necessity of said responsibilities or that I have determined that said responsibilities do not actually matter [to me, to the degree that they seem to matter, or just in general]. I am not the kind of person to regret things and when I act there is always a reason -- perceived or real -- regardless of the veracity of my justifications at the time. I do not tend to put myself in positions I have not anticipated and do not hesitate on the occasions when it happens. I feel that I have lost much of my ability to be impressed by things though I do not know why. I argue and though at times it may be gratifying, much of the time I find my tendency to do so very frustrating. I respect your opinion although it may appear otherwise, and if it seems as though I am trying to change it then there is very likely a reason. I love broadening the awareness of others, even by something so seemingly trivial as relating facts. I think opinions are very odd [which is not to say that I do not have them]. I think arguing about opinions is a waste of time. I find it odd when people form self-limiting conceptions about things without trying them and despise myself for occasionally doing the same thing. I dislike the fact that I had to use the word opinion multiple times in the last few sentences because subsituting any other word would have likely changed what I was trying to express. I wholly believe that unless you are as specific as necessary and capable of saying what you mean, you can not expect to mean what you say. At times that may not require you to be very specific at all -- but sometimes it might. If someone said that to me, however, I would pick it apart and it would lose all significance. I cannot fault anyone for failing to take me seriously. I do not generally tell people about myself concerning matters of actual depth, making this a rare occasion. I considered deleting this tangential jumble of words. A lot of thought -- too much I'm sure -- goes into the consideration of the ramifications of what I say [perhaps excluding conversations with specific people], this particular paragraph being an excellent example. For the most part this section represents very little risk because no one will take it seriously. Although I did not originally intend this introspective passage to be very long I found upon review that its length would not be a problem, and could in fact be helpful by discouraging those with marginal interest from starting or finishing it. If I do not click preview and submit right now it may never happen, as I am having difficulty deeming it acceptable. The worst thing about it is that I had to use 'I' so many times.
Sometimes I brush my teeth for like ten minutes; often this takes place while I'm watching my favorite television drama... CNN. Realistically, I watch about 8.24 minutes of television a day lately--7.21 of which are inevitably spent on the Blues channel [what can I say, I'm a sucker for Music Choice]. Still, I had to throw it out there, because I'd be lying if I said otherwise. Wait, sometimes I watch the Food Network. One day Emeril is going to just pop like a big ol' bag of popcorn and I'm going to see it happen. So yeah, there's that too, I guess. Hope you liked the random decimals I pulled out of thin air up there. They are quite authoritative.
Oh, and I do the same thing with Listerine.
I have also been informed, with increasing frequency of late, that I am actually an old man somehow trapped in a youthful (basically) frame. Clues for this conclusion include [wow, that's quite a few "clu"s] my enjoyment of grape nuts (with soy milk), whiskey, and newspapers. Further evidence such as my unfamiliarity with any radio stations except NPR and tendency to say 'trousers' only serves to reinforce the theory. Woe is me.
Life is a miserable crawl down a long corridor where dust gathers so quickly as to delude each of us into forgetting that millions have come that way before.
Okay, I don't always mean that. Just sometimes.
I've come to understand that a certain part of my mind works best in 'traffic' situations. I really enjoy mild congestion on the freeway, for example -- finding routes between cars, anticipating the movements of other motorists, estimating times of de/acceleration. Particular combinations, like listening to music, navigating traffic, thinking of unrelated stuff, and perhaps writing a text message on my phone -- this sort of stuff makes me feel like I'm actually using a substantial-enough portion of my attention.
As an aside, nobody seems to care about the difference between your and you're. Or affect and effect. So I guess I'm lame in that respect.
I like to look at the stars. I like to go out at night and just look up -- find the Big Dipper. Find the North Star. You might say "everyone likes to look at the stars" but I say to you -- who really does it? And 'nyah.'
I'm left handed, have green eyes, and a good complexion with comically sized lips [you know what they say about big lips... big mouth.] I guess that means I'm probably carrying a few nifty recessive traits, considering my background. Who knows.
If you hate long profiles for some reason -- perhaps due to an unwillingness or lack of desire to actually know anything about the people on a service like Myspace -- then that's too bad. I would apologize, but if the previous sentence describes you, I am not at fault and you have no one to blame but yourself for putting you into situations that you do not enjoy. I would recommend that you stop using the internet. Barring that possibility, I would recommend that you stop using it to talk to people. In the event that even this is not feasible, I would just ask that you stop using it to talk to me -- unless you're open to me changing your mind.
Okay people, enough is enough. I know it's totally "cool" to hate television, and most of the stuff on it is worthless, but you're all forgetting something important and it's pissing me off; without television we wouldn't have Reading Rainbow.
On another irritating note, I can't decide which is more asinine:
1. That Gmail brought this quote to my attention: Quote of the Day - Bono - "The less you know, the more you believe."
2. That someone--in this case Bono--said that and then someone else took him seriously.
For the love of Crispix, isn't it obvious to everyone how stupid that quote is? And don't give me that "don't take it so literally" bullshit. It's fluff. Rubbish. If that quote is any indication, then rocks and shellfish believe EVERYTHING. The operative lesson here, ladies and gentlemen, is that even celebrities who give lots of money to charities and refuse to leave the public eye say stupid things.
I suppose only people who are reading this for the first time will ever see this part, since most of the people who've seen it before probably don't read it again. Oddly, those people ought be least likely to have any interest (or discern any differences.)
That said...!!1!one!..ugh Internet jokes. Anybody got any of those Internet jokes? Ok whatever the hell I was going to talk about something. Oh yeah. I'm at a radical point where I'm trying to figure out what I want to do and I'm accepting a lot of ideas and some of them are really ridiculous. Others are really lame. This is actually not something I need to put in my profile, and I'm not saying that in a whiny "nobody cares" kind of way, but more in a "couldn't I just think all of this in my head?" kind of way. So.. about those Internet jokes.
I love Payday. Not only is it the tastiest candy bar ever, but they have gone so far as to print "Candy is a treat. Please consume in moderation." on the inside of their wrapper. Not saying this is a big deal or anything.. just saying I like that.
I guess it's not obvious or anything, and some people have been uncertain about it, so I'm just going to throw this out there: Sorry, I like the ladies.
In other news, now you can talk to me directly! (At least until Tom gets his undies in a mess over it.) See below:
I tried karaoke for the first time recently. Apparently I am pretty decent but I only sing Johnny Cash songs and that's kind of like cheating, as far as I'm concerned.
It's daunting to start routines; things like that really bring into focus where you're at and how you can improve. The light of that truth can be illuminating yet painful; sometimes we don't want to see the things that emerge from the darkness.
I'm going to try something new with whatever I add to this page from here on out. When stuff is serious or legitimate, it will be black. When it isn't or is commentary or humorous, it will be another color. In part, this could be helpful in pointing out my humor, as it will make it ridiculously obvious when I'm trying to make a joke; apparently the whole 'being funny' thing isn't really enough at times to clarify whether or not I'm kidding. Be warned though.. I might not do it every time. That means, yes, you're hearing me correctly: I might accidentally say funny things when I'm not joking. I can't just make it that easy for everyone, can I? So here goes, I suppose:
There is an emerging dichotomy in my mind with regards to how I feel about people and the world. I am torn between my desire to affect the world around me and a growing disinterest in the particular vagaries of modern life. On the one hand, I see humanity with a mixture of annoyance and amusement--pity and impatience tempered by benevolence. On the other, however, I grow tired of many things in our society, varying in scale from automobiles to appetites. As an example, I have begun to lose a little of my interest in computers; it is as though a bubble is close to bursting and technology is in danger of becoming little more than a tool for me again, as easily dismissed as an ottoman [which is actually a good example because I'm using one right now, but in a few minutes I'm going to get up and walk away from it without any second thoughts. I'm not going to pause at my door and think "Oh shit, well where I'm going they're going to have chairs (read: wireless) and I might want to use it there." Whatever, this example is getting preposterous.] The fact of the matter is that things appear to be changing in a way I did not expect with regards to things I take for granted.
"But wait! What--" you say, before I interrupt with a raised finger. Yes, I know. There is certainly no dampening my intense, unavoidable, at-times-obnoxious innate curiousity; it seems I can completely lack the desire to deal with something while still wishing to see the schematics for it. I still want to learn about so many things, and gather knowledge like pogs except they'd be pogs that you don't just get ashamed of and lose somewhere, like perhaps they'd be pogs made out of gold and so you could still have reason to keep them around even after you leave, uh, 1994. Oh and by the way, apparently those things are making a mild resurgence here in 2006. Wait, what? Yeah.
I'm actually going to cut this a little short for the time being. The results of the whole thing are basically that I might be looking at things a little differently and that no one should be alarmed if they find me staring at Coke bottles or otherwise being curious, but they also should be prepared for an excess of wry amusement and intolerance about, um, Earth. Or at least, all those, you know, people on it. And their stuff. Oh shit, is he making a joke? I can't tell, the font is black!
I don't know why I dislike blogs so much.
