It's a God awful small affair To the girl with the mousey hair, But her mummy is yelling, "No!" And her daddy has told her to go, But her friend is no where to be seen. Now she walks through her sunken dream To the seats with the clearest view And she's hooked to the silver screen, But the film is sadd'ning bore For she's lived it ten times or more. She could spit in the eyes of fools As they ask her to focus onSailors Fighting in the dance hall. Oh man! Look at those cavemen go. It's the freakiest show. Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy. Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show. Is there life on Mars?It's on America's tortured brow That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow. Now the workers have struck for fame 'Cause Lennon's on sale again. See the mice in their million hordes From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads. Rule Britannia is out of bounds To my mother, my dog, and clowns, But the film is a sadd'ning bore 'Cause I wrote it ten times or more. It's about to be writ again As I ask you to focus onSailors Fighting in the dance hall. Oh man! Look at those cavemen go. It's the freakiest show. Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy. Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show. Is there life on Mars?
"If you're so funny Then why are you on your own tonight ? And if you're so clever Then why are you on your own tonight ? If you're so very entertaining Then why are you on your own tonight ? If you're so very good-looking Why do you sleep alone tonight ? I know ... 'Cause tonight is just like any other night That's why you're on your own tonight With your triumphs and your charms While they're in each other's arms..."