JaZz

Create your own at MyNiceSpace.com I'm 19. I live in London. I have two TINY rooms; a bedroom and an office! both of which are ALWAYS a mess! good news is, because they're so small they take no time at all to clean up!I have loads of movie posters all over my bedroom (don't tell my landlord!)partly because I love film and tv, but mstly because my bedroom is so small and painted white, it actually looks like a coffin, so I put posters up to give it more life. I have a fairly decent film collection.I I really enjoy going to the pub and having a laugh with my friends, playing board games, reading, surfing the web========================================================= =============== MSN address [email protected] ============================================================ ============contact tableAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"Not only that, but....Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. Occasionally, executing a maneuver wouuld cause your car to stop an fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.=================================================== =====================An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He noted how hurricanes at one time were given only female names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she." One of the students raised her hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain. So he divided the class into two groups: males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendations.The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to as masculine because:1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem.4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to as feminine because:1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.========================================================= ===============A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said, "No!" He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door! . The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"