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Pantelope

T-Shirts For Modern Mammals

About Me

I am the proprietor of the sweetest truck stop Internet t-shirt shop known to man, Pantelope.com Yes, I wear pants, but I sell shirts. Got a problem with that? I'm also the head of an online club of TV/Film/Animation industry folks who collectively exist as the The Pantelopers, but only I am the original Pantelope, which gives me first dibs on stuff and all that. I'm also a huge music fan, having been in a folk band that morphed into a rock band that morphed into a hard rock band...way back in my Chicago days.

My Interests

T-Shirt design and fashion. Music. Bands. Stealing pants. Politics. Pop culture. Get your pants on! Or off, depending on the situation and/or climate change.

I'd like to meet:

Che Guevara (so I could kick his little unwashed anti-Pantelope heinie - it is told in old Communist circles that Che would frequently say disparaging things about pants, in addition to murdering people right and left.), Audrey Hepburn, Trey Stone and Matt Parker, God, Lenny Kravitz, JS Bach, Al Gore (because I want to hear all about his new cookbook that's rumored to be coming out soon: "Greenhouse Gas Barbecuing: from Roast Aardvarks to Pan-Fried Zebras!"), and Herbert Farnsworth (a plumber of some note from Des Moines).

Music:

Basically, anything written well.

Movies:

The Incredibles, Toy Story, Finding Nemo (Basically, anything Pixar does is golden - they should be allowed to rule Hollywood. Perhaps they should be allowed to rule the States?), all the Indiana Jones movies, the first Matrix movie, Night of the Living Pantelope (A little-known classic that inadvertantly inspired Ronald Reagen in his efforts to win the Cold War), Pantelope from the Black Lagoon, Pantelopenstein (Awesome and sobering at the same time; Siskel and Ebert gave it a three thumbs up.), The Texas Chainsaw Pantelope (Don't watch this one alone. It'll scare the pants off you.), All The President's Pantelopes.

Television:

Television makes my cerebral cortex try to crawl out of my nose and flail around like a dripping whip.

Books:

The Lord of the Rings, Mila 18, Where The Wild Things Are, How Droofus The Dragon Lost His Head, Anna Karenina, that book about the Star-Bellied Sneetches (made me cry).

Heroes:

Lord Ernest Shackleton, all those guys who sailed their little boats across the Channel to rescue soliders during the battle of Dunkirk, Alfred the Great, and Joe Pugsworthy (he operates a Quik-E-Mart on the corner of West and Lake in downtown Oshkosh - great bratwurst!).

My Blog

Are You Or Are You Not Crazy?

Seriously, are you or are you not crazy? I suspect that most people (at least, in the USA) are crazy to some degree. After all, haven't most of us stopped asking the classic questions of the phil...
Posted by Pantelope on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 04:17:00 PST

Grocery Check-Out Newsracks Are Satanic

Whoever is in charge of those stupid magazines and fake newspapers should all be dumped on a desert island, naked, with their bodies smeared in Crisco. A deserted island empty of life other than sever...
Posted by Pantelope on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 06:06:00 PST

Zingo!

The world has just entered a new phase of history! One of the Pantelope members, inspired by cheese, has started a song blog. Free mp3s of stunning music that will make you howl and weep and think unc...
Posted by Pantelope on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 07:10:00 PST

Why Do Bands Do What They Do?

Seriously, now. I've heard a lot of good independent music on this site, as well as some pretty crappy stuff. Everything in between. Anyway, why are you all doing what you do? Is it an urge to connect...
Posted by Pantelope on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 12:33:00 PST

Muslims Need To Calm Down

Okay, so the Pope makes one critical comment (a quote from a medieval theologian, no less) about Islam and they all freak out like someone has left flaming poop on their doorsteps. I say, if some rel...
Posted by Pantelope on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 07:26:00 PST

Monica/Sue/Ellen/Sara/Britney/Etc All Want To Add Me!

Obviously, Pantelopes are instant chick-magnets, able to wow any female alive with a single, smoldering glance. It's just the way we are. Don't hate me for it. Try to appreciate it vicariously. Howeve...
Posted by Pantelope on Sun, 13 Aug 2006 04:34:00 PST

Buy A House In California?

Only if you're a millionaire...otherwise, rent! Darn environmentalists! It's all their birkenstocky fault!
Posted by Pantelope on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 02:42:00 PST

Gandhi Fashion

I don't believe people should take fashion cues from Gandhi.
Posted by Pantelope on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 03:48:00 PST

I'm Not Going To Take Off All My Clothes Just Because Of Global Warming

"The temperature's rising," said the man on the nightly news. He bared his perfect white teeth at the camera. "Temperature's rising!" His voice rose into a shriek. "So take off all your clothes!" What...
Posted by Pantelope on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 01:45:00 PST

Happy 4th!

Hey...happy 4th! Don't forget your history, folks... a lot of good people died so that we could live in the freedom of this amazing country. Don't take that lightly...
Posted by Pantelope on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 07:31:00 PST