Hank: "Still wanna skip rope in the street?" Jump Rope Girl: "I'm gonna tell my daddy on you, Charlie!" Hank: "Wrong answer. And the name's 'Hank', fuckface."
Hank: "You know I think you're a very special unit." Irene: "That's sweet." Hank: "I hope we can get to know each other better." Irene: "Yeah, me too." Hank: "Do you swallow?" Irene: [SLAP]
Charlie: "Sweetie, that's kind of dangerous. Wanna move up on to the sidewalk, away from the traffic?" Jump Rope Girl: "My dad says you're a joke and I don't have to listen to you." Charlie: "Well, your father is entitled to his opinion. But, I am an officer of the law, and, uh, by all rights I could uh..." Jump Rope Girl: "Fuck off!" Charlie: "You should watch your mouth little girl." Jump Rope Girl: [SCREAMS]
Jamaal: "Man, our daddy ain't no fuckin' nut case!" Shonte Jr.: "He may have Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, but he is a very, gentle person!"
Irene: "What are those for?" Charlie: "Oh! It's just this stupid thing. I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel...funny. No big deal." Irene: "What's it called?" Charlie: "Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage." Irene: "Oh."
Hank: "I'm here to save your life. But if I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna need total uninoniminininininity."
Hank: "'Vagiclean', huh? What's the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco?" Mrs. Bittman: "Excuse me?" Hank: "No, excuse me. There's no tag on this. Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough. [SNIFF] Put a rush on that."