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Im 22, live in Utah, 6 foot even, 150 lbs, blue-green eyes, long black hair, and generally dress pretty cute (at least in my opinion). :) Im into Psychology, Philosophy, Anthropology, Spirituality/Religion, Numerology, Astrology, Magic (spells, curses, black, white), Human Sexuality, Politics, Economics, as well as many others.
Download my latest mix!
I think it should be known that I am emotional. Im very caring and love to talk, and listen. I love being needed, and feel discarded if I am not. I wouldnt consider myself "EMO" since that seems to have a whiny conotation attached to it, but I feel more than I think most people do. I pick up on feelings, and sometimes my own push people away. If I like you, the connection is immediate and intense, and I reflect that and I think it scares people (which I HATE more than anything). If I dont like you, there is little chance that I can build that kind of connection with you. I want to meet people because living in Provo alone is starting to get to me. I love women. I love their soft skin; beautiful, never-ending eyes; their pure hearts and intentions; and their ability to love beyond themselves. I get along best with girls, mostly because I am NOT a normal guy. Ive been told Im more of a girl than many girls. And no, that doesnt mean Im gay. (Probably just Bi) :)
What I look for in a girl:
I'm looking for someone who is interested in being there for me, not just always asking me to be there for them. Someone who understands that having depression means I get in terrible moods where I think everyone hates me, everyone is leaving me, and that I'll be dead in the morning, and know that "This too, shall pass". In the morning I'm always better, and very apologetic for being so sad. When I'm happy people say I'm "on one". I'm giddy, ecstatic, and a big-time dork, but it's the thing I love most about myself. If you don't like it, leave and never talk to me again. :) I want someone to be okay with my ups and downs, my good days and bad ones, to be there for me when I'm playing a gig, and just give me motivational kisses and play with my hair onstage. I'm looking for someone (and this is a BIG thing for me) to LET ME IN!!! I know letting me in takes some amount of courage and time, and can be quite a let-down if it ends, but thats how I am. If I'm in a relationship, it's full blown, with NOTHING held back. I want you to tell me you're thoughts, dreams, nightmares, terrors from the past, happiest moments, while I touch your skin and kiss your neck and shoulders. This is what I want. :)
I love music. I DJ (my personal meditation), play guitar, keyboard, and recently have begun experimentation with music production on the computer (using SoundForge, Acid, Fruity Loops, and Reason). I spin EBM, Industrial, some Trance, Aggro Breaks and DnB, Hardcore (Electro, not happy - Netherland style) and substyles (terrorcore, darkcore, speedcore, trancecore, breakcore, and all the other "cores" - besides SHITTY Happycore and Omar Santana BULLSHIT). Ive been playing the guitar for 8 years, the keyboard about 5, Dj'ing about 6, and less than a year for music production. I, of course, also LOVE listening to music of almost any style. I know EVERYONE says that, but for me its true aside from Country and Easy Listening. I like Rock, Rap, Metal, Pop (select few), Electro, Ambient, Goth, Industrial, EBM, etc, etc, etc...
