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Zachary

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About Me


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something funny... something funny... ok i'm stuck. we will come back to the funny part so lets first start with the basics. First off I am a supple young boy who... corection... supple young man who has the nick name slap nutz for a reason... a big reason. I free-ball! this may be a shock to some of you, especialy my friends who have barrowed a pair of shorts from time to time, but now that its in the open we need to deal with it and for those who don't know what free-balling is fucking google it! I'm sorry...I didnt mean to sound so forcefull. I guess i should show a little of my softer side. I like to sing into the midnight winter wind so the heavy voice of my heart can be transformed into a light gust of snow and sleet, showering down on those who need love. I do this every night from october to may and every morning i lay sleepily on my folded out futon, smother myself with memories of past loves that i so weakly tried to hold onto. My heart gasps for fresh posibilities but i hold my breath tight tell the hope dies and im left passive and empty. I then have a bowl of fruity pebles and every now and then i cut loose and watch a little bit of Regious and Kelly... They make me smile. From their my day turns into the hell that is golf mart. I die a little bit each day watching vitnamise women ten putt a practice hole. My evenings are full of fake laughter and benges on primetime television. I rarely vacation to a dime novel or a magazine. Ok that is enough of my softer side. I guess it is time to be funny. Well there are some things about me and my past that i have been told are funny... I dont personaly find them funny but i let you be the judge. Ok so i found out that you should never cry on the first day of a new job...especialy infront of your new coworkers. Lets just say slap nutz is a much better nick name then i used to have. i once got chiefed with super glue and pink glitter. I sent money to a starving little girl in africa who sent it back because she "thought things were getting a little too serious." Well now you know more about me then you ever wanted to and if you read this far through this load of pithetic crap then you are a very sick person...Get Help!!! I'm talking to you Mike!!!
What kinda sex do you like?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Times you want to fuck a day.. 2
Fav. position doggy style
How you like it ROUGH BABY
Where do you like doing it in a pool
how good are you? fucking orgasmic
This quiz by sixmilesleft - Taken 566118 Times. New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

My Interests

poker, guitar, music, movies(everything but horror flicks), cooking, golfing, fishing, hiking, swimming, the beach, girls(of course), skateboarding, skiing. snowboarding, cuddling, kissing, video games, partying, bartending, reading, stock market, securities, BOWLING, football, hockey (GO SHARKS!!!), golf equipment and fitting, underwater-basketweaving, bagpipes, cross-dressing, etc etc etc!

I'd like to meet:

I would love to meet my soulmate...the person who I will love for the rest of my life is gonna be on my fucking VIP list lol...I would love to meet phil mickelson, fred couples, and luke donald who play on the PGA tour...I would love to have met Adam Smith, and Milton Friedman...that's about it...maybe a one night stand with Britney Spears...or at least until I realize that the cellulite on her ass really isn't fake...lol
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Music:

classic rock, AC DC, U2, green day, deep purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, journey, van halen, gin blossoms, boston, john mellencamp, dave matthews band, robert randolph and the family band, the killers, jet, elton john, fleetwood mac, foo fighters, third eye blind, tom petty, kenny loggins, blink 182, yellowcard, zz top, sugarcult, simple plan, the who, switchfoot, sublime, steve miller band, REM, reel big fish, red hot chili peppers, Queen, Pink Floyd, pearl jam, the offspring, etc ..

Movies:

40-year old virgin, thank you for smoking, waiting, spaceballs, young frankenstein, american pie 1,2 , super troopers, last samurai, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars Series, spiderman 1 and 2, back to school, fast times at ridgemont high, summer school, Harry Potter Movies, the girl next door, les miserables, maverick, top gun, oceans eleven, rounders, 007: Goldeneye, Goldfinger, dogma, chasing amy, twister, what women want, the patriot, saving private ryan, black hawk down, i heart huckabees, etc.... Friday Night Laundry

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Television:

real world, family guy, simpsons, american chopper, mythbusters, VH1s behind the music, pimp my ride, room raiders, O'Reilly factor, Hannity and Colmes, boy meets world, step by step, iron chef and iron chef america, emeril live, american idol, megastructures, seinfeld, the war at home, made, room raiders,top chef, project runway, laguna beach, biker-build off etc...i watch alot of tv

Books:

the joy of freedom, the savage nation, the vanishing automobile, hidden order, the wealth of nations, and a bunch of star wars books

Heroes:

my parents of course...and maybe batman

My Blog

i never thought...

that i would see shit like this ever again...lol...im watching MTVs made which is about a tomboy who wants to become a beauty queen (typical story!)...but of course she comes off as hopeless with rega...
Posted by Zachary on Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:00:00 PST

I kicked ass Friday! Phew!

so last friday was my first scramble golf tourney in forever! I was so excited to get to play and also take a day off of work haha...it's great having a flexible and fair boss to let ya go have fun if...
Posted by Zachary on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:18:00 PST

a piece of my bucket list...

so I have this fantasy that I though was shareable, funny, and interesting...and I don't think i'm alone here...so clarify if i'm wrong...lol. The fantasy first came about from an inspiring woody show...
Posted by Zachary on Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:38:00 PST

i got attacked....

by locusts!!!! omg...so i went to mariners point today to go hit golf balls and drink...good times in general...so i buy my bucket of balls, and im rocking the plaid shorts and new shoes...anyways i g...
Posted by Zachary on Fri, 16 May 2008 11:36:00 PST

what is up in Berkley???

so I heard on the radio this morning something that just made my brain stop!...the little neurons paused...looked back and forth at one another...shrugged their shoulders and continued on but much slo...
Posted by Zachary on Thu, 15 May 2008 10:26:00 PST

I wish I had a scottish accent...

So, today was a rather awesome day in the cubicles. I happened to come across some priceless gold videos on youtube of comedian billy connolly. He's a scotsman with wacky grey hair and an even wackier...
Posted by Zachary on Wed, 14 May 2008 10:07:00 PST

Women need to stop faking it...

So while listening to the Woody show live 105.3 (best morning radio show ever btw!)...the sexy time fun facts segment came on...always a great segment because it reveals the truth behind real sex...no...
Posted by Zachary on Sat, 10 May 2008 10:36:00 PST

VIP Partay!

Strike Bowling in Cupertino knows how to throw a party! Hands down! Last tuesday, my Apple buddies and I got invited to a VIP party after work at Strike. For two hours, there was free food, fully cate...
Posted by Zachary on Sun, 04 May 2008 01:06:00 PST

Coneyisland updates...

What's up y'all!? ok so it's about time to update on life. All in all...life is good. This past friday my friends and I had an amazing going away party for one of our co-workers who is moving to Singa...
Posted by Zachary on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:35:00 PST

GO SHARKS!!!

ok...so I am a huge hockey fan as you can tell from the profile pic...the Sharks are an awesome team this year and have the league leading goaltender, and an offense to complement it. BUT...and there ...
Posted by Zachary on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:18:00 PST