always said i'd be happy to have enough money to buy a pack of cigs and not worry about it... didn't realise they'd get so expensive though
i'm constantly told i've got a mental age of about 8, probably a result of going to my "happy place" once too often (ask me and i'll tell you where it is!) but if you can't have fun in life then things just get dull.
when i'm not cursing the bastard (see below) i'm writing, recording and remixing choons and songs.
check out www.myspace.com/fluencyxl
in case you hadn't figured it out, i'm a big fan of absolut vodka - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! vaniiiiiiiilla... mandarin... raspberry... there's a dvd from new year's eve where i spout on about this for far too long!! love their website, including the "find the absolut vodka bottle" game! check it out at absolut.com
revenge of jon the bastard
for godssake, i'm being terrorised by my cat (he's not called jon the bastard for nothing). getting fed up with being woken to the sound of furballs being yakked over my carpet and the endless filling of the litter tray... and no i can't get rid of him cause i've got enough guilt to start my own religion
"Do you like Vera Lynne?
Yeah, she sings up some good shit, isn't it? She's safe.
Isn’t it that she’s well fit?
Do you know what I’m saying? She is buff.
Totally, she’s got it going on. Not like Gracie Fields - she mings bad. She’s nasty.
You know what i mean. Chatting shit about living up an alley or something.
She so needs to get over herself – big time.
Scramble chaps!
No way, blood. I’ve done flying today.
We’ve both done flying. I did flying yesterday – twice – and that’s against health and safety, or some shit like that. And I’ve got a verruca…
Enemy bombers are on the way – for god’s sake, get up there and fight them, you cowards!
You can’t actually say that, because that’s like racism, but against cowards.
That’s like discrimination against a community…
I would still do Gracie Fields, though, if she offered.
Isn’t it?"
"cat mugs baby!"
click here and watch at 1'09" for the cat who is obviously fed up of the kid getting all the attention!
want to know more about me? read on...
How old are you?: see above
How old do you act?: see above!
Eye Color?: murky bogwater
Hair Color?: what there is of it's fairly black
What School do you go to?: grange hill
Grade?: referral (sorry, that should be "not yet achieved")
Height?: 6'4
Nicknames?: are you trying to send me back to therapy??
Birthday?: too many
Righty or Lefty?: righty
Who do you live with?: tara and the bastard
Play any sports?: yeah, right!
Your Favorite..
Color?: blue. and black.
Type of music?: see above
Ice Cream Flavor?: phish food
Website?: google, cos it sounds like what i do just before passing out
Song?: mnah mnah
Sport?: chav ten pin bowling
Movie?: a cow on wheels
T.V show?: the sky at night
Actress: when i'm a drama queen, yes
City?: noo yawk
Radio Station?: radio 4 longwave
Food?: phish, i already told you
Non alcholic drink?: vodka
Alcholic drink?: absinthe
Animal?: you'd better belive it :P
State?: drunk
Football Team?: trotters
Baseball team?: mets
Basketball Team?: bullets
Season?: once every two months
Fruit?: contrary to popular rumour, i am straight
Vegetable?: mildly
Pizza Topping?: hot and meaty
Car?: the sound a crow makes
Magazine?: sound on sound - my porn!
Book?: the hungry caterpillar
Number?: i probably would, i'm a bit slutty like that
Person?: yes
Ipod?: no
Gum?: i'm alright thanks
Restarunt?: yeah, i'd give the sickly kitten a break
Fast Food Restraunt?: no, i wouldn't put a sickly kitten in a microwave
Style of Dance?: giraffe on rollerskates
Have you ever..
Stolen a Car?: sorry dad...
Got a Detention?: bloody frosty the snowman
Suspention?: evenings and weekends. oh SUSPENTION
Been Beaten up?: evenings and weekends - good money
Beaten someone up?: evenings and weekends - good money!
Kissed 3 people in one night?: maybe
Shoplifted?: they're too heavy
Drank?: no
Smoked?: no
Lied to the one you love?: which "one"??
Snuck out?: shit, you caught me
Had sex?: no
Did something bad with one of your friends?: this one time, at band camp...
Gotten fired?: yep
Gotten someone else fired?: kind of
Been on T.V?: that's a new one to me, is it like ecstacy?
The radio?: yep
Dyed your hair?: IT WAS RED NOT PINK and you COULD see it
Did a cartwheel?: pathetically
Went to a professional basketball game?: saw george branch and everything!
Been out in a trash-can?: yeah, i've had some dodgy cars. including a pink one
Had a whip-cream fight?: yeah, the whip might sting but the cream just smells SO bad after
Egged someone?: yeah they can be pretty violent, especially after one of my chillis
Did something with the same sex?: does going to the pub count? or is this how many blow jobs i've given???
Skinned dipped?: not for a while, i've gone off baths
Been dumped?: OMG back to therapy...
Cheated on someone?: blatantly, when i was younger and stupid
Been cheated on?: blatantly, when i was older and more stupid
Loved someone?: of course
Shot a Gun?: is this in the gene simmons kind of way?
Played Frisbee?: it's what beaches were made for
Had a pet Snake?: again, is this in the gene simmons kind of way?
Mooned someone?: shockingly, yes
Flashed someone?: it wasn't me
Did something spontanious to prove a point?: i do it most of my working day... (only joking chaps!)
Eaten 20 hot dogs in a day?: only the small ones, jack russells and that sort of thing
Not eaten for a week?:
Laughed so hard you cried?: and so much more...
Writen a song?: a few
Went out with your friends ex bf/gf?: nope
Went bowling, putt putting, to the movies, and the zoo in one night?: sadly no, the zoo was closed
Cheated on a test?: if this counts as a test then yes
Failed a grade?: too many times
Went to a Cafe?: the ones in amsterdam are good
Sang in public?: to the horror of everyone else, yes
Sat on your roof?: only cos the bathroom was locked. oh, SAT...
Fell down the stairs?: ohhhhhhhh yes. with a chauffeur called les
Slid down a banister?: still got the burns to prove it
Cussed at a teacher?: never!!!
Spray Pained private property?: i just spray out pain like a dog on heat wherever i go
Trepassed?: i'm legally bound not to answer that
Killed a squirrel?: no i bloody didn't kill it, it was just constipated
Madeout with someone on the 1st date?: what can i say, i'm a slutmonkey
Played EXTREME Truth or Dare?: yeah (sorry bout what you had to see jack!)
Went to 3 partys in one night?: every night's a party
Tried to save someones life?: yeah
Seen a shark?: yeah
Swam with a dolphin?: nope
Went to DisneyWorld?: the paris one. it's a bit shit but i love the people i went with
Told a secret you said you wouldnt?: no
Told someone you really loved, you hated them?: only jokingly
Gone out with the same person more than 10 times?: of course
Been kicked out of the movie theater?: no, but i've been kicked in the bollox. it fuckinhurts
Read a book in one night?: yep
Asked a stranger to hold your hand?: no, but i've asked them to hold something else
Went shopping for lightswitches?: could only find heavy ones
Spent more than 3000$ in one day?: unfortunately
Told someone you loved them.. but you really didnt?: i really thought i did at the time but then i realised i was a knob
Spyed on your next door neighbor?: well you would too if you heard the sounds coming from their house
Walked 4 dogs at a time?: usually two
Gave a cat a bath?: like i've got any chance of getting that bastard anywhere near the bath
Not showered for a week?: glastonbury
Went to a summer camp?: yeah. it put me in therapy
Wished on stars?: depends on my mood
Pee'd your pants.. after 6 years old?: haven't we all?
Put gum in someones hair?: no
Cut someones hair off?: yep - landing strip stylee
Played Dressup?: yep
Dressed in the opposite sex's clothes?: there's photographic evidence that says i have
Tried to fondol a manicuine?: fondu a mancunian?!?
Bought jeans 2 sizes to small for you?: bloody ankle swingers...
Spent 100$ dollars on someone other than yourself?: yep
Had a crush on a teacher?: never
This or That?
Apples or Oranges?: either
Hugs or Kisses?: both
T.V or Computer?: the geezer in make-up
Myspace or live journal?: duhhh
Cats or Dogs?: cats - they don't crap so big
City or Counry?: what's a counry??????
Rebulican or Democrat?: randomer (joi, u still better be one too!)
Clothes or No clothes?: u don't want to see me with no clothes, it's not pretty!
Boys or Girls?: for what?
Choclate or Vannila?: vanilla (vodka) mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Black or White?: blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
60's or 70's?: 60's
Basketball or Football?: vodka
Hamburgers or Hotdogs?: vodka
New York or Sacremento?: noooooooo yawk
Valentines or Easter?: valentines - the shops stay open
Boxers or Briefs?: commando
Jeans or Skirts?: depends
Brunnettes or Blondes?: my track-record says it all...
Mom or Dad?: i have male genitalia so i guess i'd be a dad
Truth or Dare?: i do dares when people get sick of hearing the truth
Cheese or Pepperoni?: both
Starburst or Skittles?: skittles
Hot or Cold?: hot
Summer or Winter?: don't mind
Showers or Baths?: showers
Pepsi or Coke?: coke (corporate whore)
Love or Money?: love, as long as i can afford you know what
Morning or Night?: either, it all blends into one
Sunset or Sunrise?: both
Convertables or Trucks?: a convertable truck
Pans or Eggs?: pans
Pink or Green?: neither really
Flip Phones or Slide Phones?: don't give a shit
Ketchup or Mustard?: ketchup (tara!!!)
Paper or Plastic?: i'm lucky if i've got either
English or History?: english
Kickball or Dodgeball?: i did get kickballed and i should have dodgeballed
Holding hands or Cuddling?: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hollister or Abercrombie?: not a clue
Wal-Mart or Target?: really don't care
AOL or Yahoo?: getting a bit bored now
Purses or Wallets?: neither
Pens or Pencils?: depends
Kangaroos or Monkeys?: you can't spank a kangaroo
Carpet or Tile?: carpet, but mind the burns
Hand Soap or Liquid Soap: liquid
Christmas or Hannuka?: vodka
Crazy or Cool?: i've given up trying to be cool
Quizes or Surveys?: rapidly going off both
Your Friends
Best?: craig
Nicest?: plank
Preppiest?: charlie
Sweetest?: dave
Best to talk to?: tara
Funniest?: michelle
Prettiest?: joi
Most Caring?: tara
Most Popular?: charlie j
Most Giving?: dave
Favorite Thing to do with them?: vodka
Favorite Inside Joke?: spamelope
Favorite Memory?: anything we can remember after vodka
Craziest thing you did with them?: paris trip
Stupidest thing you fought over?: vodka
Hang out spot?: the beach
1st Times..
Kiss?: nicola field
Word?: kumquot
Date?: disastrous
Bf/Gf?: nicola field!
School?: cheswick green primary
Best friend?: nick
Vacation?: barmouth
Town you lived in?: solihull
Drove?: ford sierra
Teacher?: mrs bolt
Memory?: bringing home new dog
Bad Grade?: from the start
Smoked?: 10 B&H for 86p
Drank?: beer
Had Sex?: the witch
In a boy or girl..
Hair Color?: good hair
Dressing Style?: don't mind
Eye Color?: good eyes
Weight?: don't mind
Height?: don't mind
Sweet or Funny?: both
Hot or Smart?: both
Popular or a few close friends?: don't mind
Someone you can talk to ?: definitely
Single dates or Group?: don't mind
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d
i'd like to meet... everyone in my fantasy household and anyone who makes me laugh
and this guy...
charles funkhouser - what a legend!!!
ducati monster... once i've passed my test...
asking for it, i know...
You Are Animal
A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!" The Muppet Personality Test
i want to go here SO much...
Your results:
You are Spider-Man Spider-Man 70% Green Lantern 70% Iron Man 70% Superman 50% Hulk 50% Catwoman 50% Robin 45% The Flash 40% Batman 30% Supergirl 20% Wonder Woman 10% You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
