BJ Honeycutt profile picture

BJ Honeycutt

Here, you can go break this bottle out back if you promise to not bother my customers...

About Me

I'm a twenty-seven year old golf cart mechanic who's never had sex or even seen a woman naked. I enjoy breathing heavily when it isn't appropriate and I like to follow small children very closely until they start running real fast. I live with my dad and eat funnel cakes with every meal. I generally sleep in till about four thirty every day and I have a pet wallaby my dads said been dead for about three weeks now. I don't believe him.

My Interests

Punching myself in the leg, staring at people, eating treats, "saving" money, getting parking citations, pizza burns on the roof of my mouth, passing gas in the movie theatre, forgetting things

I'd like to meet:

Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddmore

Music:

The Zep', pretty much any classic rock (that's not true), 80's tunes are kewl, tough guy music like metallica and blondie, I fancy me some blues harp and geetar.

Movies:

Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, Loaded Weapon One, The Big Lebowski, American Movie, Laser Blast, Two-Lane Blacktop, Old Boy was f&*%n badass, pretty much any Steven Seagal flic, especially his new ones, they're simply masterful, Sand in my Pants, Berry Yum Yums

Television:

poop

Books:

reading? awwww c'mon, I don't wanna read...

Heroes:

Mom and Pop...it took a lot of patience raising a retard like me.