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mike

About Me

I AM A THE HOTTEST MAN YOU WILL EVER SEE. I AM SO HOT EVEN THAT CAMERAS CANT EVEN TAKE MY PICTURE, FOR THEY REFUSE TO WORK IN MY PRESENCE FOR FEAR OF NEVER FINDING ANOTHER AS HANDSOME AS I. NOT ONLY THAT BUT MY PENIS IS THE SIZE OF ONE OF THOSE BALLOONS THAT CLOWNS USE TO MAKE ANIMALS OUT OF. SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T EVEN USE A URINAL. IT FALLS IN THE WATER. I ALSO SUFFER FROM A STRANGE CONDITION SO I HAVE NO BODY HAIR. I AM LIKE A SUPERMODEL, EXCEPT BETTER. ALSO, I LIKE TO CUDDLE WITH GORGEOUS WOMEN AFTER I SATISFY THEIR EVERY DESIRE. IT IS HARD WORK BEING THIS AWESOME .......... NO REALLY I AM MIDDLE AGED, BALDING, EVERYTHING IS SINKING AND I HAVE VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM, BUT I DRIVE A MAZARATI.

My Interests

ISN'T THAT THE STUFF YOUR MONEY EARNS IN THE BANK?

I'd like to meet:

OPRAH, BECAUSE SHE IS SO DAMN INSPIRING. MICKEY MANTLE BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW TO HANDLE SOMTHING THE SIZE OF WHAT I HAVE AND COULD GIVE ME SOME POINTERS. WILLY WONKA CUZ I BE LUVIN ME SOME CHOCOLATE. DR. PHIL BECAUSE MY RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK OUT, WOMEN CAN'T HANDLE THE SIZE. ELMO. PERIOD.

Music:

THE VIENNA BOYS CHOIR, MERLE HAGGARD, KORN, NWA, POISON, HANSON, LUCIANO PAVARATTI.

Movies:

SPACEBALLE, MEL BROOKS HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART 1, ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, MONTY PYTHON IN SEARCH OF THE HOLY GRAIL, FERNGULLY, THE LAND BEFORE TIME I ii iii iv & v, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS.