dave profile picture

dave

it's a really long story...

About Me

.. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, base plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...

My Interests

unix
computers
tattoos
cars
motorcycles
musclecars
tequila
vodka
sex
books
movies
dr pepper
cats
drugs
conspiracy theories
paranoia
freedom
thinking
sex
perl
games

I'd like to meet:

rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists

Music:

apoptygma berzerk
project pitchfork
e-craft
tactical sekt
paul oakenfold
diary of dreams
the birthday massacre
stromkern
wumpscut
velvet acid christ
covenant
skinny puppy
neuroticfish
sonic youth
the damned
x marks the pedwalk
cure
chemical bros
joy division
sigur ros
vnv nation
hocico
paul van dyk
dead can dance
new order
zeromancer
slayer
elvis
johnny cash
willie nelson
danzig
front 242
the tear garden
ministry
ramones
dead kennedys
the smiths
black flag
depeche mode
assemblage23
the church
killing joke
bjork
anything someone plays for me that i like i guess...

Movies:

full metal jacket
donnie darko
new wave hookers
barry lyndon
rocky horror picture show
star wars
american psycho
freeway
rules of attraction
12 monkeys
aliens
brazil
apocalypse now
blazing saddles
orgazmo
office space
sid and nancy
trainspotting
the salton sea
zoolander
who's afraid of virginia woolf?
a clockwork orange
crash
blood guts bullets and octane
the silence of the lambs
alien
goddamn near anything
i love movies

Television:

fuck television.

Books:

i cannot read or write, additionally, i do not speak a word of english.

My Blog

south park season 10 dvds today!

and i am going to target to get them now.yay.
Posted by dave on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 08:02:00 PST

accosted by cult members at target...

so, we are leaving target today, and 3 members from a religious cult come to accost us:religious cult guys:  do you know why we are here on this earth?dave: yes.religious cult guys:  ...some...
Posted by dave on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 06:54:00 PST

fuck.

vnv nation played here on the 14th.then skinny puppy on the 17th.i really really wanted to see those shows, like in the worst way.but we were unprepared to leave the bunny with a fucking sitter.so i m...
Posted by dave on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 05:58:00 PST

p.s.

zoe just barfed on panda's tits.fitting revenge for the squirting i suppose...
Posted by dave on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:29:00 PST

also...

anybody got any decent drugs?or nitrous?or something?hookers?bathtub crank?oregano?its cold out this morning, we are bored, and we dont get to sleep a lot anymore.thank god for whataburger taquitos......
Posted by dave on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:25:00 PST

i never get tired of this...

watching panda shoot the bunny in the face with breastmilk, and then say "did i squirt you??? i'm sorry!!!!" and then squirt her again...and over...and over...and over...just never gets fucking old.=...
Posted by dave on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:17:00 PST

babies are cool

my bunny came yesterday.Zoe Nicole - she showed up at 2:12pm. 7lbs 7.7 oz, 20.25 in.Mommy and bunny are resting happy at the hospital.childbirth is some pretty fucking crazy shit, mandapanda kicked a...
Posted by dave on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 07:45:00 PST

hi.

send me your im, because i dont have it.yes, this means you.also, there are ants on my nightstand...so i cant have chocolate milk in the bedroom anymore.i am in hell.also, being pregnant is old, and t...
Posted by dave on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 03:06:00 PST

amy makes me laugh...

actual IM conversation from this morning.enjoy![10:19] noctrn1254: just listen to the lyrics[10:19] buyyourowngoddamncigarettes: i can just look up the lyrics, if you tell me who it is.[10:19] noctrn1...
Posted by dave on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 08:50:00 PST

p.s.

i also love cyndi c, those of you who know her know why.but mostly...because she sent me txt messages to my phone this morning while i was eating breakfast...and because she is a buttpirate...=)dave...
Posted by dave on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 12:14:00 PST