Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine

About Me

Here is what I preach: Sex... Violence... and Luciano Motherfucking Pavarotti... for I am the Ukrainian Fertility God... the Phalic Slavic... the Ukrainian Ninja... Vinko... the Ukrainian Sex Machine! My name is Vinko and I am all about being sexy. I live sexy. I breath sexy. I AM sexy. Not only am I the sexiest creature to be birthed from the womb of the Ukraine, but I'm the finest professional wrestling manager, lover of ladies, hater of the unsexy, master of the robot, a man of action and so very much more. I've been in the pro wrestling business for over ten years, but I've been a lover of women for much, much, much longer. I've brought a long shopping list of pro wrestlers to singles and tag team championships in three different promotions. I am the manager of a group of extremely talented and feared wrestlers. First, the greatest tandem in PCW! True aboriginal role models! The future of professional wrestling in the world! "Mr. Killbot 6004" Kevy Chevy and "The Epic" Donny Douglas... together they are the unbeatable... the sentient man-missles of destruction aimed at destroying all peasants... The Fabulous Cree Birds!!!! Then there's the meanest, toughest and surliest wrestler alive... the soaring big man of all big men... the Corporate Watchdog... the Conspiracy Theorist... Mr.Knees'n'Elbows... the PCW Heavyweight Champion... "Murda Wuz Da Case" Mike Angels. Together with my intellect, and a heaping helping of sex appeal, we will rule every wrestling ring in this bullshit world! We will cripple suckers who have the misfortune to get in our way.
I edited my profile with Thomasâ€™ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

My Interests

Ladies. Poking my index and middle fingers in people's eye sockets. Women. Stealing bags of candy from kids on Halloween and laugh as they run home crying. Girls. Money. Punching Ashton Kutcher in the throat. Dames.ME!

I'd like to meet:

The question should be what woman doesn't want to meet me? But if I had to choose one person... Ashton Kutcher, so I could punch him in the throat.

Music:

I love Pavarotti, but Mentallo has been turning me on to some "gangsta sheeezit".

Movies:

Snatch.

Television:

Television is for those with a serious lack of imagination.

Books:

The G Spot, by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry.

Heroes:

I'm obviously ripping this man off.

My Blog

Late Night Piss-hole Debacle

Yeah, I'm really tired right now and decided to blog about whgat just hapened... pardon the spelling errors and shit. I went to bed, but was way too tired to take the piss that had been brewing for so...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:36:00 PST

Look At This Shit... I Look Like Joan Baez!

For shits and the giggles, I took this celebrity look-a-like bullshit... take a gander at who they say I look like! Joan Baez? Prodi (I guess that ain't that bad)? Ethan "Milquetoast" Hawke? Richard "...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 09:29:00 PST

Workout Review

Now if anybody has seen me in my delectably tight wrestling trunks would realize that I only workout one part of my body (known to cause blindness and hairy palms in some tragic cases). But I decided ...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:56:00 PST

The Ukrainian Witness Protection Program... memories I will always treasure

Now, if you didn't know, I have been going through a rather painful legal battle in the Ukraine over some trumped up charges of polygamy and 16 other counts of the same charge... with a sprinkle of ch...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 10:28:00 PST

I Think My Crotch Has Been Cursed

I know what the title says, and no, I don't have a blistering case of herpes or any other STD... breath a sigh of relief ladies. Nobody is happier than me, believe me... no big bulk jars of crab cream...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 07:38:00 PST

Harsh Pain in the Frontal Pant Area

Yeah, this isn't a sequel to the much anticipated tale of a night shared with people of squalor and blue shirts... no, this is a tale of pain... pain in the frontal pant area. The peasants will have t...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 03:14:00 PST

Vinko Mingles With the Peasants... .4

What's funnier than watching two near-mongoloids beat the living shit out of each other? Watching two near-mongoloids you detest beating the living shit out of each other in the middle of a busy inter...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 08:16:00 PST

Vinko Mingles With the Peasants... .3

After bouts of threats, and then whining, that came from Greg's filthy and plaque armored mouth, Vinko (that is me) finally relented and agreed to accompany this hunchback without a hunchback to his h...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 06:09:00 PST

Vinko Mingles With the Peasants... .2

To get to the Assiniboine Downs, the thrifty and horribly deformed Greg paid for my bus fair. Now, I've taken the bus back in the Ukraine to get to boarding school and to see my Uncle Yakyu in the cou...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 07:41:00 PST

Vinko Mingles With the Peasants, part 1... see related photo!

Now, two months ago, I had a life altering altercation which changed my view on the world forever. But, people will ask... you don't seem changed, you're still the amazingly gorgeous man who pleases l...
Posted by Vinko the Ukrainian Sex Machine on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 04:56:00 PST