THINGS THAT ARE 'JUMBO'. Messin' around with stuff, cans, concrete companies, cisterns, cicadas, Bronx cheers, Brooklyn Bombers, Philly Cheesesteaks, undergurning, overarching, moist towelettes, warm leatherettes, nattering nabobs, the old weird America, bulldada, pineapple flambe', unpacking the Gertrude, simultaneous "beating and joining them", pestling the unalterable whey of words, not whistling Dixie, neckties, contracts, high voltage, the continuing search for Illudium Phosdex (the shaving cream atom), church mice, cleavage, frottage, fromage, portage, esplanades, promenades, lemonade, pomade, gatorade, retrograde, gee-gaws, knick-knacks, gimcracks, plaster-of-Paris divorce kits, statues that pee, wasabi peas, entropy, innuendo, agoraphobic exhibitionism, cheerful nihilism, cooking with booze, thinking outside the bun, my pal foot foot, DAMN THIS CHAFING! whoppers junior, not thinking of women as hoes bitches skeezers tenders tenderonis honeydips tricks biscuits or whatevers, multiform dessicants, blanching, gawking with intent to mope (and vice versa), whispering the word "popcorn", rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, striving at all times to bend fold spindle and mutilate, pistol hot cups of rhyme, pith helmets, Yoyodyne Industries, bubbling like an open cola in the sun, totally spatulating flapjacks, pissing into the wind, tugging on Superman's cape, pulling the mask off the old Lone Ranger, messing around with Jim, doin' the Tighten Up, shaking my money maker, struttin' my stuff, walkin' spanish, falling out the window with confetti in my hair, getting on the good foot, opening cans of whup-ass, taking myself to task, driving myself to distraction, getting busy in a Burger King bathroom, The cuervo gold, the fine colombian make tonight a wonderful day...
Jack Kerouac wrote: "..the only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn burn burn like fabulous Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centrelight pop and everybody goes 'Aww'". Good for Jack Kerouac. Me, I like people who calm the fuck down once in awhile. Mostly I want to meet this little gal:
The Hong Kong Cavaliers, The Pismo Beach Baggage Handlers, Rustoleum on Wicker, Crapalong Cassidy, the Downer Cows, Worsefinger, The Ducks of Punishment, Thee Village Smithies, The Deadly Urethra Fish, Underpantstastic (but only the early stuff, before Ginny Colon left the group- particularly their first album, Underpantasia), Thunderpants, Lousehouse, The Glued, Poot, Th' Puckered Bullseyes, You're Soaking In It, the Basil Wolvertones, Donald A-Frame and the Myoclonic Jerks, the Unbiblical Chord, The Stark Reminders, Filipino Frank and the Fliptops, Formica Frank and the Countertops, Downblouse, the Walt Verbal Contingent, y'know anything on the Manchurian Bloviate label or part of the Pennsyltucky scene...
The Long How Are You, Pasty's Revenge, Unpacking Gertrude, The Uptights, Night of Humming Justice, Stinging Grease, Drugs are People Too, The Hideous Portico, Scrapbooking Sluts, Death Rides a Pale Pallett Jack, The Fried Balogna Gang vs. the Lettuce Boys, Showering Inferno, Pride is a Heavy Portmanteau, Lost in Cleveland, Days of Moistness-Nights of Chafing, My Demon Calligrapher, The Vagina Monocle, Guileless in Ozza, Satan's Picnic, Please Don't Crash the Bentley, How Dry was My Apricot, Lust Hike, The Meandering Lovelies, Planet of the Nubile Toast, Rampaige of the Misprints, and my favorite documentary on the inhuman conditions at a shower curtain factory, Drapes of Bath. Oh, and Michael Moore's expose' on the porn industry, Roger Me. ...and my favorite movie is Bloodsuckin' Freaks, just like yer mama.
In 1927, Philo Farnsworth was the first inventor to transmit a television image comprised of 60 horizontal lines. The image transmitted was a dollar sign.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."- G. Marx
Buckaroo Banzai