Chris profile picture

Chris

Ladies and gentlemen, the takeover.

About Me

One of my favorite lines in one of my favorite movies:
"When one person, for whatever reason, has a chance to lead an exceptional life, he has no right to keep it to himself."
Yup.
I play the drums, guitar, and some other stuff. I break into freestyle raps from time to time, but only a few people have witnessed them. I've never had a brainfreeze. I feel that Hall and Oates are two of the most important (and least appreciated) contributors to modern American pop music, and I fear one of them will have to die before people realize this. I've used the same backpack and jacket since high school. Both have busted zippers. I don't hate the player, nor do I hate the game, unless of course referring to West Coast rapper The Game, whom I hate very much. I perform spoken word poetry every month at a little cafe. Not really sure why. I've never met a penguin in real life, but I imagine it would be vaguely disappointing. I'm very good at roulette. I'm very bad at paper-rock-scissors. I question neither of these.

My Interests

If I'm not at work I'm watching/playing almost any sport, hating on people, making/listening to music, at the gym, writing, and/or staying up way too late for no damn reason.

I'd like to meet:

Whoever, who am I to judge. I mean if you're an asshole, I'll have to change my mind about that policy. It's been working pretty well so far, so do me a favor and take a look at yourself. If you are in fact an asshole, don't introduce yourself. Anybody else is cool though.

Music:

The Watson Mill Gang, Jay-Z, Kanye West, U2, Jack Johnson, Travis, Common, Barenaked Ladies, The Pharcyde, Wacky D, Daniel Lee, Old School Rap, Foo Fighters, MC PeePants, Redman, Austin Hill, 2Pac, Blue Floyd, Randy Watson & Sexual Chocolate, Dave Matthews Band, The Zack Attack, Notorious B.I.G.

Movies:

Juice - that was a good one, Goodfellas, Half Baked, Memento, Garden State, Fight Club, The Royal Tennenbaums, The Godfather, Kill Bill 1 & 2, There's Something About Mary, The Professional, Rushmore, Swingers, Ray, The Usual Suspects, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka

Television:

The Office, Scrubs, Dateline: To Catch a Predator, Entourage, Cheaters, AquaTeen Hunger Force, Lost, Chappelle's Show, Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Sportscenter, Paternity tests on Maury, Pardon the Interruption

Heroes:

My heroes are people who actually follow through on their goals instead of sitting around just bitching about things.

My Blog

Hey yo what's up? Where's my theme music?!

First of all, this isn't one of my long-ass emails about stuff I did. This is a call to all of you, my brilliant friends. The stupid ones (yall know who you are) are welcome to participate as well. S...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:45:00 PST

Month in Review: February

Well it's officially "Whenever I damn well feel like it", which means it's time for my February list recap. If you read these things on a regular basis (hey thanks), you already know I went to M...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 02:23:00 PST

Month in Review: January

It seems these days, at least to me, there's a lot of people out there who are very curious about the status of my list. Sure you can follow my progress here, and I cross things off as I go ...
Posted by Chris on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:59:00 PST

Maine

So I just got laid off. 2/2 was my last day at work. I'm now officially a bum.Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for myself (or getting a new job, which may have been the best idea), I decided...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:47:00 PST

The List for 2007

So I looked at a calendar the other day, and it turns out the year is almost over. As you get older, it usually feels like the years just fly by. This was not one of those years. This year has lasted ...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 11:15:00 PST

The Hater List

Moses. Sir Isaac Newton. Christopher Columbus. Ghandi. Me. What do these people have in common? Surprisingly little. There is, however, one very important similarity: a common enemy. That enemy? The h...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 11:41:00 PST

If I did it

As I'm sure you are all aware, OJ Simpson recently returned to the public eye with an ethically questionable new book titled "If I did it, here's how it happened". Although ReganBooks publishing appar...
Posted by Chris on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 02:14:00 PST

Strike One

Well, let's get the bad news out of the way first. As you may know, I recently tried out for a writing position with Slate Magazine.On Thursday I found out I didn't get it, but I'm glad I tried. I'll...
Posted by Chris on Sat, 30 Sep 2006 12:56:00 PST

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

A lot of you have been asking what I've been up to. It seems I haven't been around that much as of late, and I certainly apologize for it. Fortunately I wrote in my journal every day this summer, and ...
Posted by Chris on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 09:17:00 PST

The State of the Peppers

So I'm sitting at home by myself on a Saturday, as the cool kids tend to do, when the Red Hot Chili Peppers hop on stageas the SNL musical guest. When it comes to the Chili Peppers, I'm usually on boa...
Posted by Chris on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 10:28:00 PST