URNGUARD profile picture

URNGUARD

I'll give you black sensations up and down your spine.

About Me


The non-locality machine experiment begins on June 01, 2008 and is set on "automatic." The target city is Neosho, Missouri. URNGUARD's computer is linked to the non-locality machine via accepted psionic technology and the machine is set predisposed to "for." If you wish to participate "for" or "against" a manifestation, simply place your right thumb on the interface button of your choice below and wait ten seconds while concentrating on the city of Neosho. This will send a message to the non-locality machine. If the machine is successful "for," the city will be in the national news soon. For what ~reason~ it will be in the news, (c)remains to be seen. The machine is now ON and the experiment is ongoing whether or not there is any participation by others. If something catastrophic happens to Neosho, perhaps you should have cast a psionic vote. On the other hand, perhaps a highly wanted criminal will be caught in Neosho if you vote "for."
urnguard n. 1) guardian of the dead 2) trickster 3)
necromancer 4) The Fool or The Magician of the tarot,
designation based on location within temporal journey
5) psychopomp circuit
-other ref: Anubis; canopic jar; embalming; Holy Grail;
Mary Magdalene's alabaster jar; Pandora's jar; Phoenix
from the ashes; simulacrum; womb; tomb; conch shell/Lord
of the Flies; soul storage; Leyden jar; cocktail shaker.
related: Neptune Society; cryosuspension/ALCOR
Botony - urn: spore-bearing part of a moss capsule
hence obscure: Guardian of the Spore Bearer
see also Finnegans Wake
URNGUARD OCCULT GEAR now available - Red letter "blood donor" style shirt features 2008 public reading event at the Therion Theater - program, date, time, hidden code, etc. Available on shirts, mousepads, thongs, mugs, & magnets. Hat has dripping letters logo. New black shirt available.
Go to:
URNGUARD channels any obsessive compulsive tendencies into low level numismatics - compelled to obtain the new presidential dollar coins being released every three months through at least 2016. Only nonliving past presidents will be minted. It's slow going and perhaps superfluous, but highly satisfying. He is looking forward to someday slipping that cute soda machine at the lodge a Millard Fillmore.
Web picks:
Hard Case Crime Book Club
Clifford Pickover - author/teacher/weirdness
David Lynch - film director/artist
Lon Milo Duquette - occult author
Rosemary Ellen Guiley - occult author/paranormal investigator
Dr. Nick Begich - author/alternative health
Alex Grey - artist
Di Maccio - artist
Michael Parkes - artist
Steve Brudniak - artist
H.R. Giger - artist
Golden Flower Instructions - meditation/altered state
Mayan Studies - glyphs
Old Toys, Games, & Interesting Retro items for sale
Walter Zwart's Unhealthy Obsession
When you die, you will be able to count the number of true friends
you had on one hand. That means Six of One or Half Dozen the
Other for the owner of T.H.O.G.
When the fire burns in the heart
the black monster rejoices
URNGUARD uses Helix Oxford Premium Grade No.2 HB
writing pencils, but dreams of using an Eberhard Faber
Blackwing 602:

My Interests


Writing, sketching, painting, guitar, drums. Paranormal investigation. Cemeteries. All things occult. Upgrading an old computer to its absolute zenith.

URNGUARD can sometimes be found in a small restaurant in New Boston, Texas, eating chicken-fried steak and playing "Board Beast," a simple game with frightening ramifications.

Night drives down dark country roads - cemeteries and strange structures beckon.

URNGUARD leads an E.S.P. - Paranormal research group - the Abracadabra Lodge.

The group plays poker after contacting the dead. Sometimes the spirits join in for a few hands of Crazy Eights. If they become really sloshed, they break out the Killer Bunnies game.

Occult agent gone rogue. No one is safe.

URNGUARD writes horror which is occasionally eclipsed by humor. He also writes humor occasionally eclipsed by horror.

I'd like to meet:


And the little girls jump rope and sing:

Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla
Elvis Presley, Aleister Crowley
Harry Houdini, Rosemary Ellen Guiley
Richard Lynch, David Lynch, Dave Allen
Jonathan Frid, Patrick McGoohan
Joe Bob Briggs (again), Adam West & Charo . . .
Deepak Chopra, Ivanka Trump
David Carradine, Bruce Dickinson
Lizzie Borden, Elizabeth Montgomery
Bonnie and Clyde, for just one more ride
Jack the Ripper, Sister Mary Skipper
My rope's a snake that almost bit her
Mother Mary full of grace
These are the ones I'd like to meet on MySpace.
---URNGUARD

BREAK THE SHACKLES TO YOUR UNION WITH THE LIGHT BY
CLICKING ON THE EXIT SIGN:

Music:

Spinning on URNGUARD's Turntable Rasa:

Movies:

KRONOS & THE SEVENTH SEAL, both from 1957. Superimposing the films on a single screen will reveal precisely how and when this world will end.

Television:


DEXTER
TWO AND A HALF MEN
LOST
CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
FAMILY GUY
KING OF THE HILL
WEEDS
GENE SIMMON'S FAMILY JEWELS
DEADWOOD
BOSTON LEGAL

Books:


Kenneth Grant, Philip K Dick, Thomas Pynchon, James Joyce, Stephen King, Ian Fleming, Deepak Chopra, Tom Robbins, Carlos Castenada, Raymond Smullyan, Rosemary Ellen Guiley, Colin Wilson, William Blake, Henry Miller.

The Hard Case Crime series showcasing vintage and modern detective thrillers.

Old OMNI magazines.

Hard science, psychology, mysticism, humor, horror fiction, general fiction.

Heroes:


The robot (model B-9) of Lost in Space. The closest thing it had to a name was revealed in the third season on a packing crate: G.U.N.T.E.R. - "One General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental ROBOT."

URNGUARD always wanted red pincers that could electrocute his enemies, but settled for red gloves and a Funkenring.

Comedian Dave Allen was a significant influence.

Richard Lynch held a training seminar in Hawaii that resulted in error free remote viewing in which the true nature of reality was revealed. Due to security issues, Lynch will deny this event ever occurred, even whilst brandishing a trench coat.

And finally, the members of the IMF.

My Blog

SYNCHROTRONIC URN updated APR 07 08

Welcome to the SYNCHROTRONIC URN.  Fascinated by synchronicities, I decided it was time to create an ongoing web log.   1 Jan 05, ’08 - 4:10 AM Sent letter to "Lizz" s...
Posted by URNGUARD on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:01:00 PST

Books read in 2008 updated FEB 06


Posted by URNGUARD on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 12:38:00 PST

The Almost Departed

What better way to process a real life near fatality than with joURNalism? I ask you.The Terrell Trident newspaperStaff Writer  M. BrentsSaturday - December 29, 2007URNGUARD NARROWLY ESCAPESHIGHWAY...
Posted by URNGUARD on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 07:35:00 PST