I'm not tryin to brag but...
By the age of 15, I had already started my own business; the first baby kennel in the Western HemisphereI can hold my breath for just under 8 minutesI routinely hire call girls to do my laundry, they are usually baffled when they are paid and asked to leave without any sexual favors exchangedAlthough it is not on the menu, you can order the "Bryan Mullen" at the Wendy's in my hometown; you will receive a random assortment of items totaling exactly $17.00I'm the only known case of someone surviving Natural CausesA typical days meal plan is as follows: for breakfast, one large cheese pizza; for lunch, one large cheese pizza; for dinner, one large cheese pizza. And then I shit winning lottery ticketsI'm considered one of the forefathers of the genre of music known as "Warehouse Country", my first big hit was titled "I Left My Shrink Wrap in Zone 6"I've now totaled four separate cars as a direct result of my inability to refrain from playing air guitar during sweet jamsI live by the phrase "Never settle for anything but the best". That is why I only date women that can transform themselves into sandwiches. This is also why I'm singleIf you take only one thing away from all of this, let it be that I'm #1
AIM = bigred1mil
DISCLAIMER: Bryan Mullen is not responsible for the loss of one or more of the following, which may possibly occur as the result of exposing one's self to the dogmatic and dangerously subversive statements made on this page: life, limb, vision, hearing, taste, smell, touch, citizenship, spleen, sanity, or upper torso.
