Tyrannosaurus Bex

I was born a poor black child in southern Mississippi, the invisible fourth of thirteen children. At the age of three I lost both legs and my gag reflex in a tragic tractor accident. Thankfully, my limbs regenerated within a year. However, my poor gag reflex never returned. At seven, I entered a powerful and violent gang of illegal Austrian immigrants that were known for their unrelenting thievery of warm baked goods. My family (thankfully) saw the potential danger I was in and intervened shortly there after. At 15, I lost my memory after tripping over a woman at the beach and falling into one of her deepest fat rolls. I survived for nearly 13 years on Cheetos and prayer. (On the upside, I chose what TV show we watched for three of those years when her remote control found its way into the same crevasse that I was in.) Then at 28, I regained my memory only to find myself in a disappointing relationship, the mother of three, and still in college full time with no end in sight. When asked if my boobs are real, I honestly reply...I can't remember.