My boyfriend Hide, Video games, martial arts, gymnastics, skating, learning Japanese, fashion design, reading, music, politics, astral projection, science, parapsychology, rainforests, jungles, my sexpert bf, skinny Japanese bitch boys, telling Japanese people sumimasen bitch and fuck off onegaishimasu, sex if I can find a good piece of ass, laughing at retards, stealing little kids candy and making them cry, watching guys faces when they get teh pwnz by me in video games, kicking your ass, riding my bike by you and grabbing your ass for no reason at all, acting my race and getting crunk on your wack ass, eating the person..s popcorn sitting next to me in movies even though we don..t know each other and watching their face of disgust, blowing bubbles in the movie theater just to piss the people off in front of me in lame Austin Powers movies, pouring baby oil on the floor so when you walk by and bust your ass I can laugh at you, laughing even more when you bend down and bascially stick your nose on the floor to find out wtf liquid on the floor caused you to fall down and look like a total dumbass, anything that..s stupid and spontaneous...lol.
I cut myself and I decided...hey now this is an awful waste of blood! Might as well make some art out of it! So I basically made a blood stamper and went at it! Yes the blood is real. Ain't it so pretty!? Muahaha....sweet dreams.
I'd like to meet:
All those bitches on Phantasy Star Online that try to talk shyt, especially Kuribo Ver. 3. Also if you a skinny little Japanese bitch boy that looks half gay, half girly and you hang around Shibuya wearing your fucking too tight clothes, feel free to message me anytime, because I LOVE YOU! The dumbass dudes with those fake ass orange tans need not apply and can just FUCK OFF NOW! TANNING SALON ABUSE IS A SIN BEFORE GOD AND YOU SHOULD BE SHOT AND KILLED!
I..d also like to meet my pet monkey, Hide-chan! <3
WTF! TELL US ABOUT TOKYO! LIEK OMFG PWNAGE!
So liek...where in China are you: Fuck you! I live in Tokyo, BITCH!
Okay...so what are you doing all the way in Japan and can you speak Japanese: I have my own business and I..m fluent in Japanese, hoe!.
How long have you been there: About 3 and a half years.
Are you taller than those midget ass Japanese motherfuckers: Actually...no...and Japanese people aren't so short like everyone thinks. The older people are hella short, but the younger generation is about normal height. People in their 40's and under are normal height. They been eatin' too much fast food...muahaha! But what is true is a lot of people are hella hella skinny. I weigh like 100 lbs. but some men are much taller and are the same size as me. It's sad...
While we're on the subject of fast food...hows the McDonald's there: It tastes EXACTLY the same as in USA. And No, it's not expensive like people say. Unlike in America though, for the "McFish Dippers" they have wasabi sauce. lol
Do the employees at the McDonald's in Japan actually enjoy their jobs: Yeah...they are always smiling and happy and shyt. They even stand by the trash can thinges and throw away your food for you, lol!
What's better...Japanese or American rice: Japanese! American rice is all dry and nutrient drained and shyt. I'll never eat it again...
What is nato: Some fucking rotten beans and they smell fucking sick, but Japanese people just LOVEEEE eating them. And I'm not playing either...the beans REALLY are rotten. They look like they have cobwebs comming from them and shyt. Chou kusai!
Ew...so kinda scared to ask, but hows the pizza in Japan: The shyt is so weird. They will put ANYTHING on a piece of bread and call it a pizza! Like seafood, potatoes, mayonaise...all kinds of shyt. I can't eat it, it..s not good. Check out Japan's Pizza Hut: www.pizzahut.jp
Do they really have a .99 yen (.99 cent) grocery store in Japan: Fuck yeah, it's called "99 Shop" and you know my broke ass be up in that bitch everyday! They have all kinds of food in there. Milk, fruit and vegetables, cake, donuts...the list goes on forever. I even buy my socks there. It pwns!
How about the 100 yen ($1.00) shops there: Sooooo great! Unlike in USA where EVERYTHING in those stores are cheap as hell, you could buy all your dishware and utensils at one of the stores here and no one would think it only cost 100 yen. It's really great! My mom came here and bought a ton to bring back to USA. I buy nail polish and make-up and bags and everything! My favorite 100 yen shop is "Daiso". There's a "Daiso" in Harajuku!
Japanese shop too much: It' s so fucking true! Like my boyfriend! He has more jackets than a department store! Lots of people in Japan love clothes soooo much that they will spend 90% of their $ on clothes, and the other 10% on an apartment the size of a closet and eat cheap ass ramen everyday. Some girls here will spend (300,000 yen) $3,000 on just 1 Louis Vuitton or Prada Bag. These people aren't rich or anything...just amazingly stupid and wasteful. Well...Tokyo IS fashion capital of the world...
Is Harajuku as kool as people THINK it is: Harajuku is kool, but the clothes they sell there ARE NOT! They're cheap and mismade and most everything is free size and some stores are so small you have no place to try on clothes. A lot of places don't take returns, so good luck! I think most kids just shop there because it's so damn cheap. Like you can get pants for 1,000 yen ($10.00). But you can see hella fashionable people in Harajuku. My boyfriend and I just walk around and hang out there. People from a magazine (I think KERA) took our picture (because our fashion is 1337, of course) to put in one of their magazines in the "street fashion" section. I think the magazine might come out this or next month!
Work-a-holics: Yeah...it's insane. They are robots. My ex-boyfriend told me that his friend went to work oneday and didn't get to go back home for 1 month. He was basically working 24/7 and didn't bathe or change his underwear for a month. When he got back home, his girlfriend had left his ass over that shyt...lmao! Also, one of my friends said that at his company people are soooo stressed out that they started jumping out the windows and committing suicide. So now there are locks on all of the windows at his job, lol! My friend quit that job and is STILL getting counseling from all the trama. My boyfriend works a lot, too. Every weekday (some Saturdays) from 8 am to 11 pm. Crazy!
So what do they do to relieve all the stress: Get so fucking drunk they lose all memory of their job, of course! Friday nights in Tokyo are CRAZY! People are throwing up and passed out on the sidewalks and in the train stations. Sometimes the super drunk people falldown into the train tracks and get ran the fuck over. Guess they don't have to worry about their stressful jobs after that...lol! Lots of people go drinking everynight, but they don't get as smashed as they do on the weekend.
Smoking in Japan: EVERYONE smokes around here. I've never seen anything like it. Women smoke a lot, too. Japanese smoke waaaay more than Americans. It sucks... Lucky, I got my boyfriend to quit, recently. He wants a cigarette, but know if he smokes I..ll beat dat ass!
Do Japanese people love karaoke or what: It is HUGE here. Everyone tries to make me sing those dumbass songs with them. It's just annoying and loud and I HATE it...
Okay...enough with the boring shyt. What do Japanese men use as pick-up lines: There are 2 very famous pick-up lines and they seem to be the ONLY 2 that Japanese men know. 1. "Would you go out with me for tea?" 2. "Do you have time?" It's so lame everyone asks the same questions. Anytime I'm asked this I just pretend I can't speak Japanese. If the guy then says he can speak English, then I also can't speak English...because I..m from France...lol! My ex-boyfriend was kool with his pick-up line, though. I was walking down the street on the way home (he actually stalked my ass home and waited to talk to me when we were on a dark deserted street, but it was okay, because I was kinda hoping he was following me...) and he came up to me and said, "Hello". After that he said, "Where are you going?, Can I have your phone number?". Usually I'd just pretend not to speak Japanese, but his pick-up line suprised me (for a Japanese guy.) and his bicycle looked sooooo kool (I later found out he stole it, lol), so I said "Okay". His ass didn't waste anytime calling me, which was about 10 minutes later, lol!
Is sex better on a futon or a bed: A futon, because you can't fall off, lol! And it's a good thing my boyfriend and I use a futon cuz he gets a little ruff and just might break dat shyt!
The truth about Japanese mens...um... you know: Well maybe I'm not the one to be asking...I haven't seen nearly enough, but I have seen a couple so...when people say they are small...THE SHYT ISN'T TRUE! They're not some black dude but far from small. Remember when I said Japanese people aren't so short? Well I guess their penises grew along with it (maybe older men are small because older people are very short..but I DON'T want to find out).! I'd say they're average size. But I got lucky and my boyfriend has a baseball bat, but I think it's kinda rare...maybe.
Are Japanese guys circumcised: No and I don't know why. I never asked. It's not problem for me.
Anal sex: Nope...they don't do it so don't ask them to. Not that I want to either. I've never tried and never will. Fuck that shyt!
I <3 you: Japanese people seem scared to say it (not my boyfriend though, who is basically the opposite of everyone here) and I don't get it...liek...my ex-boyfriend's parents have been married for like over 30 years, but they have YET to say it even ONCE. Not even on their wedding day. At first I thought they were just strange, but then I asked other Japanese people about it and they said it's normal. Younger people also don't say it much, and some don't say it at all. My friend says her and her boyfriend say it about once a month. I hear the reason is they're too shy and/or they thinking saying everyday would make it lose meaning. I can understand maybe being shy with a new bf/gf, but people that have been married 30 years...come on...it's just strange. Being in a relationship with a Japanese person can be very lonely. Not much affection as you can see. It's the reason why it didn't work out with my ex...plus the fact that his 29 year-old bitch ass hasn..t had a job in over 2 years. I ain..t havin.. that shyt!
Sleeping seperately: Yeah...a lot of them do. I just CAN..T see it happening in USA. Even some young people sleep seperately. They say the reason is because alone you can sleep more peacefully. I guess that's true but why would someone NOT want to sleep with their bf/gf. No cuddling...fuck that...
Fucking cheatin' ass men!: Yeah, it's true! Not so much the young as the old. Everyone treats their girlfriends really nice, but after they marry...they want to cheat. The (bullshit) reason they give is...because a wife and a girlfriend are different. When married, the wife starts to feel like family so it becomes strange to have sex...whatever...total bs...just a good excuse to get laid by anyone, and it seems a lot of woman around here buy it. If I had a husband...let him try it! He'd be one dickless motherfucker walkin.. around here!
Japanese porn: Japanese porn sucks because the motherfuckers won't let you see the genitals (excluding titties)! It's illegal here. They blur the shyt out! Imported pornos are also blurred. Imported porn magazines have the genitals scratched out...really weird. In Japanese porn magazines it looks like the girl is giving head to the air! They don't blur the dick out, they make it clear...basically so it just makes no sense. Women also lick on the mens titties too much...ew. I guess a virgin guy has no idea what a girls um...looks like, lol! No way to see it. I guess that's why anime porn is so big here. If you going to watch a porn, not being able to see everything, it takes all the fun out of it...lame. Luckily for me, I don't watch porn anyway.
Old Japanese men: Old Japanese men are just nasty...they are always looking for sex and I don't know why, because they probably can't even get it up. I've been asked out more times by older men than by youngers ones! I think the younger guys are just shy and the older ones too, but they think $ can influence a girl to a love hotel (love hotel - a hotel you go to just for sex, basically)...and it sometimes does. I had one guy ask me to be his girlfriend, this one time. He said he would pay me to have sex with him because he thinks it is wrong to have sex with your girlfriend and not pay her...okay whatever...bs, lol!
The truth about Japanese school girls: On tv and in animes, Japanese school girls are ALWAYS tiny and cute. NOT true irl! Your average school girl is FAT! Yes, FAT! Most all school girls have 2 things in common. 1. Being fat. 2. Being loud. They are always eating or talking as loud as they possibly can. One time I saw one of them on the train eating like the biggest slice of cake I..ve ever seen in my life! It might as well had been a whole cake! All the while, the fatty was talking as loud as possible...just ghetto.
School girl skirts: They are soooo fucking short! We could never get away with that shyt in USA! Some girls wear skirts so short that you can see their underwear! I was in jewelry store in Shibuya one day and here came a fat, short skirt wearing school girl. She bent over to look at some earrings and DAMN! YOU COULD SEE EVERYTHING! She didn't even try to keep people from seeing, she didn't give a damn. She HAD to know everyone could see. When you put on a skirt that short, there is no way not to know. Of course the store owner was a guy and he was staring and smiling in (happy) disbelief. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both had that wtf smile on our faces. Guess she made his day...lol!
High heels Japanese girls wear them in rain or shine. Whether walking 20 miles or 2 yards. I don't see how they do it. Tokyo is like New York. You basically have to walk EVERYWHERE you go. But these girls are like fuck this shyt, ganbatte (good luck) and they wear the damn heels allday. I used to do it too, until I found out what it does to your heels. I'm not lying when I say you can wear down an entire heel in oneday walking around Tokyo. I've done it twice! Since most everyone has worn their heels down by the end of the day, everyone is walking all slanted and weird because it is hard to stand in a shoe that no longer has rubber on the bottom of the heel. It makes you walk sideways, like a drunk, lol! sometimes I see the girl's boyfriends helping them walk, because it's pretty hard to walk on a slanted heel. Damn...
Three things ALL Japanese men have in the middle of their living room floor: 1. a box of Kleenex 2. a box of q-tips 3. a mirror...I will never figure this one out.
What do Japanese people do while riding on the trains: Reading, talking, etc....but basically one of 2 things. Sleeping or sending e-mails via their cell phones. In the morning, basically everyone on the train can be found e-mailing. At night everyone is basically knocked the fuck out, lol! One row sits about 12 people, and onetime I swear...EVERYONE on that row was sleeping! Then some people start laying on other people while they're sleeping (of course not on purpose). I was like wtf, lol! Should have taken a picture of that shyt...
So...about the crowded ass trains...is it true they have to push people in just to get the fucking doors shut: Sadly....yes. In the morning (at around 7 or 8) or the last train of the night (around 12:40, which is actually the next day, but...still) are the biggest rush hours. I've seen it plenty times, but I've never experienced it. If the train is that damn crowded, I just wait for the next train. I don't need to go anywhere that damn bad.
Deodorant: Japanese don't need it. I was EXTREMELY surprised! They don't smell. You know if theres a couple of no deodorant wearing Americans in the room, everyone gonna have to evacuate the bitch! My boyfriend works about 15 hours a day and it's not an office job. He works with machines and shyt. He never wears deodorant and when he gets home, he doesn't smell! Me likey. :] Wow...so lucky...
Bad teeth: Yeah...everyone knows it. It's like they just don't take care of them. It's pretty gross. Some people have brown teeth and 90% of people need braces. I hear Japanese toothpaste doesn't have enough fluoride, so I buy Colgate (I..ve never had a cavity in my life, yay). Also a lot of people don't brush their teeth everyday. No...just no...
Japanese-style toilets: Maybe you've never seen one, but you can do a quick internet search to find a picture of one. Like most all things Japanese...the toilet is on the floor. You have to spread your legs and squat over it. If you have to pee it's fast and easy but I hear if you have to shyt, legs start to hurt after awhile , from all the squating, lol! I don't have one at home, luckily. In public places they have Japanese and western-style toilets. In public places I like to use the Japanese-style toilets, because you don't have to worry about a dirty toilet seat. Japanese toilets don't have a seat, so no worries!
Okay--time to talk about some gangsta shyt! Ever been chased by the Yakuza (Japanese mafia): Actually, yeah! Onenight, I was walking to my friends house in Kawasaki, and I noticed this car following me. It was obviously the Yakuza. I could tell by the nice car, the suit he was wearing, and the dark sunshades (at 10 pm). The car started circling the block and the dude kept staring at me so I know he wanted to abduct my ass and sell me in to a prostitution ring! When he circled the block again, I ran into my friends apartment so the guy had no idea where I went. The damn Yakuza ain't got shyt on me! BITCH!
Are guns allowed in Japan: No. They be some stabbin' motherfuckers around here!
Ever got in a fight with a Japanese person: Almost! I was walking around in Shibuya one day and I saw this girl handing out napkins. In Japan people are always handing out flyers and napkins and shyt for their store. It's free so you just take 1 as you're walking by. Most japanese people don't want to take the napkins (no one at all wants the flyers), but I wasn't use to it, because we don't have that shyt in USA. So I was always like...OMFG--FREE NAPKINS!? Hell yeah I want some! So she was holding out the napkin but when I went to grab it, she turned around. Okay...Tokyo IS a crowded place, so I figured she just didn't see me. So then I walked around in front of her again. This time she shooed me away. First think I thought was...BITCH, YOU CAN'T SHOO ME AWAY. NIGGA, I'M GANTSTA, HOE! With that, I took that bitches.. basket of napkins and threw them on the ground then I stole as many as I could carry. I actually still have some of them...lol... Then I was like, "Start shyt, bitch". Though I doubt she understood English. I can't wait to see that bitch again!
Japanese police: Japanese police don't really do shyt. If you go to a police station in Tokyo, you..ll see all they are basically doing is giving people directions on how to get places. They act like tourist guides or some shyt. I'm like damn...why aren't they out catching murderers and shyt! It's a damn shame...
Motorcycles: Motorcyclist are wild as hell in Japan! Unlike in USA, they don't abide by traffic laws and no one tells them shyt! They don't ride in a lane...they ride IN BETWEEN the lanes! Dangerous as hell! They must want to die! In a traffic jam, all the motorcycles are driving full speed in the middle of the traffic. They have about 6 inches distance from the cars on either side of them. Japanese also love running redlights. Here they call the green light a blue light, EVEN though the light is fucking GREEN. Dumbasses...
Okay...so how do you say "eat shyt and die" in Japanese: Unko o tabete...SHINE!
Favorite phrases in Japanese: Shinitai!? (Do you want to die!?) Shiranakatta!? (You didn't know!?)
ATMs: ATMs here suck! Have you ever heard or an ATM closing!? They do here! Why the fuck does an ATM close when its just a damn machine!? Makes no sense! If you need money after around 6 pm...you're just shyt out of luck...
The 711: Yeah! Japan has the same 711 chain here and the food is actually great! It's kinda weird here though...at around 9 pm, you'll find a shyt load of people standing in the 711 JUST reading magazines. They don't buy the shyt! They just stand there for like an hour and read the shyt and go home...ghetto...
Japanese game arcades: The arcades here aren't as kool as people SEEM to think. Most here are one-player games, not Vs. so basically you get to watch people play fighting games against the CPU...lame. But sometimes you can find an arcade with hella Vs. games and when you find one of those...it is great...beyond words...
Central air and heat: Nope...don't have it here. Just sorry ass window units or a damn fan or a little space heater. Basically in Japan you fry in the summer and freeze in the winter. When you wake up on a winter morning in Japan, when you talk you can see your breath! I was like omfg...is it really THAT cold in here!? It is. Japanese people don't use AC's and heaters so much. They are conservative about electricity. A lot of people just use handheld fans (like in a hot ass church). Fuck that, I can't take the shyt. I always have my ac/heater on full blast. I'd rather be comfortable with a high electric bill.
Paper thin walls: The walls aren't really paper thin, but damn near! I can hear EVERYTHING in the house, which means I can be heard while having sex, lol! It really sucks. Even if someone in the next room or downstairs is talking low, I can still hear them, although I might not be able to make out the words. Where I used to live, I could also hear the tv next door!
Japanese house phones: Unlike in USA, local calls AREN'T FREE! Only the first 3 minutes or so. What the fuck is that!?
Japanese tv dramas: They can't fucking act! It's like a middle school play. Just horrible...
The 5 o'clock song: In Japan (or Tokyo at least) everyday at 5 o'clock, there is a song that's played on loud speakers, throughout the entire city. The song really isn't so much of a song...it's only MAYBE 30 seconds long. They say the song is played to let kids know that it's time to be heading the fucking home! I doubt they pay it any mind, though...
Animal love: EVERYONE has a tiny ass dog in Japan! They LOVEEEE animals! They're ALWAYS dressing their dogs up in clothes and shyt! It's kinda cute...I guess. In my opinion, no dog is worth that much trouble. The dirty motherfuckers belong OUTSIDE! I <3 kitty-cats.
Japanese people don't laugh: You know in America if someone fell down and busted their ass or got in a fight, we'd be laughing and staring. NOT IN JAPAN. If people start fighting, Japanese people turn their heads or pretend they don't notice. I'm like WTF!? Onetime I was on the train and this drunk ass man was falling down. The shyt was really was funny. I was laughing so hard...but it was only me laughing. Japanese people just turned their heads. They ain't no fun!
Engrish: It's all about the Engrish. Everywhere you go, on every sign you see. Even major companys use Engrish. You'd think they could afford an English translator or at least use spell checker. DAMN! Need to be learnin' some grammar!
Bumping into people: It's so crowded in Tokyo, everyone is always bumping into everyone. When I first got here it pissed me off. Everyone know betta than to bump into a nigga and not say excuse me! But I thought about it for a while...if I said excuse me everytime I bumped into someone, I'd be saying it every 10 seconds. Its a waste of time...
Japanese people and their moles...: Its so fucking sick...you just have to come see this shyt! Some people have moles all over their face and shyt...it makes me wanna throw up. They look like mini mountains growing on their faces. Sometimes, when I..m on a crowded train, I end up standing by someone with all of those NASTY moles. If one of those moles ever touched me....I think I'd have to commit suicide...ew...
A common English word that all Japanese people know: Grotesque. Yeah, pretty random, right? Now if they only started to use that word to describe their "grotesque" moles...
