Straight Baller Michael - ProfilesArchive

About Me

There are people in this world who dress up and act like clowns; I don't like these people. I am not clownophobic (or to be politically /scientifically correct, coulrophobic). I do not fear clowns. Really. I don't. They are just not nice people. They scare little kids, they cause neurosis in some adults, they have big floppy feet, they try to fit too many of their kind in a car, I could go on and on.
I'm effing Michael. I'm pretty much fantastic. In fact, I'm so fantastical that I'm...umm...really fantastic. I have super powers; including, but not limited to the ability to overuse such words as fantastic.
Work, grub, sleep, working out; That's about all I do. I'm just a laid back, ultra sarcastic miniature giant, without a tolerance for idiocy. If beer was a pizza, that would be my favorite kind. I wear a lot of blue. I can kick over my head because I know a guy who was raised by ninjas. I used to drive a small car. Pantyhose gross me out. I don't like meth heads. Sometimes I'm accident prone. I love Germ-X. I suck at Wii golf...and Wii bowling...and Wii baseball; I basically fail at the Wii. Lately, I find myself flexing in the mirror more and more. I'm pretty much the bomb-diggity at Scene-it. I love steak, probably more than I will love my first born. I think I'm too lazy to ever be addicted to anything. Chances are, I will want to punch you in the face at some point, but I won't do it. I can't really deal with negative people very well, but I try. Some people say I have useless information, but they're damn dirty liars.
If I walked into my house and you were in my living room spilling red Kool-aid on my carpet, I'd probably throw you down a flight of stairs. I think it might be an insult when I tell a chick she's my type. I'm not really good at anything, but I make up for it with pure awesomeness (I made that up to sound cool).
I am pretty much a bamf, if you don't know what that is, then you'd better find out, STAT.
If I'm not working or working out, I'm brushing up my MMA skills. I'm still not very good, but it's fun to me, and it's a great workout.
If there's anything else you want to know, just ask. If you don't ask, it's okay. I don't hate wussyfaces, they can't help it.
I felt I was too addicted to this game, so I got rid of it, then Jason demanded the return of the Curveball, so...BOOM.
....
CURVEBALL Top Fiyeeeve.
Mr. Nice Guy ... 29,335
Colby ...27,000
CecilleeXxXxXXXxxxbunchofX's... 26,995
Chilla Matt ... 26,960
Me... 26,245

My Interests

..I like sailing, however, I'm not good at it.
I like golf, however, I'm not good at it.
I like video games...ahh screw it.

I like MMA fighting. I'm currently training a mix of Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, with the occasional San Shou fight. I'm pretty much a badass because I gave Erik a black eye one time.

I really like art; painting, graphic arts... I tried going to the Academy of Art in San Fran, so logically I work in real estate now.
I really like surrealist art; Tanguy and Dali especially.

I also enjoy good beers, usually imports. Although, I barely drink anymore.

I'd like to meet:

People with brains; if you're an idiot, you needn't apply. If you smell bad, you should stay away. If you have no class and can't present yourself privately or in public, go somewhere I'm not. If you are ridiculously negative or pessimistic, go away from me. If you think that everyone owes you everything, you should not be near me. Kaybye.

Music:

..Pretty much everything but country and whiny crap music. I like reggae, (some) rap, rock, hard rock, metal, techno, trance, classical, whatever.
Dry Kill Logic, Five Finger Death Punch, NWA, Nerd, Flaw, Five Bolt Main, Dean Martin, Sizzla, Mudvayne, The Doors...you get the idea. NO whiny suburbanite music, no emo crap, no country dog and pickup music. When I'm in the gym, I prefer music makes me want to choke-slam a grandma.

This is the mc chris autograph that Kataaaay got me, because she's the shiznit.

Movies:

..The Tao of Steve is a goody...
and, of course, Scarface...
if you haven't seen Gummo, you should (not because its a good movie, just because everyone should see it) It's from Harmony Korine so that should give you an idea...
Napoleon Dynamite
Donnie Darko
Boondock saints
Sin City
anything without Celine Dion in the soundtrack..

Television:

The Sopranos, Family Guy, Aquateen Hunger Force,
American Dad, Macgyver, NHL, UFC.

Books:

.. Currently, The Romance of Leonardo DaVinci, by Dmitri Merejkowski
(second printing may 1931)

I used to be a big fan of Isaac Asimov, but I got to the point where I just couldn't stand reading fiction at all, let alone his crazy ass sci-fi with completely ridiculous story lines and details. His Gold collection is probably the only thing of his that I would read again.

I like Steven Hawking's A Brief History of Time, and the Big Bang Theory.

Okay, now I sound like a freaking nerd...

Heroes:

Ron Burgandy

But seriously, I'd probably say my mother; My parents divorced when I was little, and she stayed around here to be closer to me when she had better opportunities elsewhere. In turn, she created a business and did well with it.

My Blog

Random lunchtime thoughts...

I decided to go to lunch with my mother today. Our initial choice was a bistro style restaurant with awesome meats, but they're too full. Our second choice is Buzz's Barbecue, they have fantastic smok...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:16:00 PST

Walmart is sweet.

Acrimonious nonsensical vent warning!I was at the local Walmart store, which is a large, unorganized, paganistic, compacted mound of meth-head and fat bitch infested feces, with my little sister to pu...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:13:00 PST

vi·o·lence [vahy-uh-luhns]noun

vi"o"lence [vahy-uh-luh ns]noun 1. swift and intense force: the violence of a storm. 2. rough or injurious physic...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Thu, 24 May 2007 01:23:00 PST

Ridiculosities, aspirations.

It's 1:09am and I'm sitting in bed, watching a movie, trying to sleep. I'll sleep for maybe six hours, tossing and turning all night. When I awake in the morning I'll lay in bed for anothe...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:55:00 PST

Greed, Volume 2.

It's that time again. Another rambling compilation of things that I want and don't have. As you read this the greed will start to penetrate you, and you will become all "wanty" like me...or not. I'm n...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:55:00 PST

Wow. Who would've thought wanting a snack could get so stressful?

I was sitting at my computer, doing nothing constructive, and I my stomach started whispering to me, "Hey, guy, hook me up with some eats". I did not want my stomach to become angry at me, so I ...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:50:00 PST

A veritable plethora of acrimony.

The time has come for another splenetic prating from the Michael. It's well known that I sometimes become overwhelmed by umbrage, generally as a direct result of someone's lack of skill at life....
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 08:03:00 PST

My gray shirt

Years ago, shortly after I got married, my mother purchased for me a gray button-up shirt from a big and tall store. It was a cool looking shirt and I was excited to have a new piece of clothing...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 10:51:00 PST

Myspace and You.

Recently, whilst absorbed in postponement of work-like activities I've been pondering Myspace and various aspects thereof. I envisage many of you seeing this as an incredibly atypical thing to h...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 04:36:00 PST

Not emo, just umm...stupid?

Disclaimer: Dont read this unless you really want to. Its not interesting, cynical, or the least bit exciting, and you will never get that 10 minutes of your life back after you read it. ...
Posted by Straight Baller Michael on Thu, 17 Aug 2006 04:23:00 PST