thevolovon profile picture

thevolovon

I ate the light and then my body shook.

About Me

We sat up all night smoking cigars and drinking brandy. I asked him about his wife, you know, cause everyone doubts that she even exists. I think everyone might be right, I think his only company is the basset hound. Then we jumped on the bouncey castle for a while, but we didn't hold hands, it just wasn't like that. Then we went for a swim, but we kept our clothes on. His mac was pretty heavy so he struggled a bit. Then, when the mushrooms wore off, he left and I went to bed. That was my night with Columbo. All in all it was good, but it just wasn't like that.

My Interests

The New Scientist..antique fabric web sites, or "fabric porn" as Mattie put it..thrift shops..jumble sales..vintage anything..digging..eavesdropping..singing..doodling..cleanin g stuff..osmosis..daydreaming..Lenny P..snow gates..wind farms..salt and vinegar crisps..straight lines..things in a row..dolly bean..getting muddy..tartan rugs..polaroid pictures..KATAIFI..and T, where did he go?

I'd like to meet:

Alain Delon for coffee and a coissant..Jonathan Richman for a song and a dance..My Granny for a fish tea..My old dog Sooty for a walk in the park..Jim'll Fix it so he could help me fix some stuff..Columbo.

Music:

Adem..Yo La Tengo..Serge Gainsbourg..Jane Birkin..Smog..Bonnie Prince Billy..Leila..Teenage Fanclub..Mum..Gram Parsons..John Prine..Lali Puna..Buck 65..Willy Mason..Micah P Hinson..Low..Jonathan Richman and his Modern Lovers..Lee Perry..Detroit Grand Pubahs..Marva Whitney..Phyllis Dillon..Busty Brown..Cloudead..Nick Cave..Scott Walker..Desmond Dekker..Karine Polwart..Wilco..Camera Obscura..Shirley Ellis..LCD Soundsystem..Delgados..King Creosote..Sigour Ros..American Analog Set..Frank Black..Chris Montez..Jackie Wilson..Pavement..Four Tet..Quasi..The Cramps..Vic Thrill&Saturn Missile..Joan As Police Woman..The Broken Family Band..Lambchop..Isan..Robert Lippok..Trans Am..The Stranglers.. The Meteors..Alton Ellis..Beat Happening..Stereolab..Ivor Cutler..Future Pilot AKA..Half Man Half Biscuit..Suburban Kids With Biblical Names..and whatever else you got..

Movies:

Le Samouri..Laughter in Paradise..Barton Fink..Stand By Me..And soon the Darkness..anything with Bill Murray, even though he refused my friendship.

Books:

Anything by Simon Armitage or Chris Ware..Four Quarters, T.S.Eliot..Pamphlet Architecture..What Ship Is That?..Bertolt Brecht..Observer's book of birds..New scientist.

Heroes:

Zero Hero.

My Blog

Sausages

I feel I have to put this right. Due to recent claims, I have to infrom you that my sausages contain no less than 85% meat and absolutely no lips, arseholes or trotters.
Posted by thevolovon on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 04:14:00 PST

Onions

Last night I was surpised to discover a crop of giant, white onions growing, not only in my garden, but under the rugs in my house too. I was, of course, dreaming. Does anyone know what this means?
Posted by thevolovon on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 11:43:00 PST

Handy man/woman required

Handy man/woman required.Things that are broken.1.Washing machine. (nearly)2.My favourite mug.3.Door handle.4.Web site.5.Inflatable spinning globe.6.The little foxs leg, who lives somewhere near by an...
Posted by thevolovon on Mon, 21 May 2007 04:19:00 PST

NEVER.

NEVER, EVER, TRUST A MAN WHO'S HAD A MANICURE. NEVER.
Posted by thevolovon on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:38:00 PST

Jane Peaches

Yeh, so tonight I read on a toilet wall somewhere in the West End, that Jane Peaches, apparentley, loves butt plugs.
Posted by thevolovon on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:03:00 PST