Shooter profile picture

Shooter

With enough soap, you can blow up just about anything

About Me

I'm a jackass reject who buys viagra online to sell at raves. But once instead of viagra, they sent me valium, and I've been so happy ever since, but i'm out now and the sun hasn't come out for weeks and weeks and I have convinced myself I have a bad disease and the only way it will get me is if I fall asleep so now I just do tweak all by myself in my room and make pictures out of my cottage cheese celing, and the pictures come to life so I started a band with them but we can't play shows cause they can't leave my room. And it's a bummer since we're really pretty good.

My Interests

Saving bugs from my grandma's pool only to have them fly/crawl right back in the water, then watching them drown for hours and hours and hours. Collecting dust mites, figuring out new and exciting ways to hurt myself, drinking heavily and actually doing them.

I'd like to meet:

the real Slim Shady

Music:

At the Drive In, Glassjaw, Refused, Desa, Nuetral Milk Hotel, Bjork, Minus the Bear, The Blood Brothers, Saul Williams, The Mars Volta (refer to line one), Rage Against the Machine, Elliot Smith, Fugazi, Jeff Buckley, Hot Snakes, KRS-ONE, J.J. Johnson, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Coke vs. Bills, Uknown Artist,

Movies:

Fight Club, Goodfellas, American Psycho, Old School, Elaine does the Upper West Side, and according to really cool people Star Wars 1,2,3,7,8,9.

Television:

Something biting and clever... Yeah, I watch it sometimes. So fucking sue me.

Books:

I don't know how to read good but if I could I would probaby reccomend Less than Zero, Choke, The Alchemist, Slaughterhouse- Five, Player Piano, Ask the Dust, Glamorama, The Insiders, Survivor, Timequake, Women, Ham on Rye, Bluebeard, Lunar Park, Hollywood, God Bless you Mr. Rosewater, The Bell Jar, Tropic of Cancer/Capricorn, and if you think you really know yourself- The Fall.

Heroes:

Anyone who will drop a few grand to not quite get a rebound in a meaningless game...

My Blog

Kwality Kontrol

I don't know if it's the glass I drank down before I noticed the broken bottle top that is hurting so badly now.  The pain is in my gut.  It's at the front of my head; a mirror might ev...
Posted by Shooter on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 03:34:00 PST

bend. bend. break

What I said was that we are starving spiritually.  "Can you hear him in the back?"  Yeah, he said be thankfull for what you have.  And with that I didn't make a peep for the l...
Posted by Shooter on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 03:01:00 PST

the Big Hurt

I was returning some videos.  At midnight thirty on a monday morning I didn't have to, what with the due date being midnight sometime later and all.  I wouldn't let my hyperextende...
Posted by Shooter on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 04:32:00 PST

Like balls balanced on the noses of valium-eating seals

I seem to live only in a world where kids occupy the oxygenated halls of casinos, betting solely on items at the food court.  Where a chicken sandwich without cheese is now $5.13 as opposed to th...
Posted by Shooter on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:38:00 PST

Who's the fairest?

So it's only taken 24 years and some change, but I think my eyes finally opened.  Fucked up shit happens.  Maybe sometimes it seems like it happens more to some people than to others, o...
Posted by Shooter on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 08:32:00 PST

Another martini, Paul?

I'm gonna be sick again.  A cloud will follow me around all day; engulf me.  I have to strain my eyes to see.  I will be damp and cold.  I'll have to hide it from my parents. ...
Posted by Shooter on Wed, 09 Nov 2005 12:23:00 PST

Dream Job

I had to find and skewer live baby leopards, but not kill them cause I was supposed to feed them to giant mosquitos. By doing this I was keeping the dolphins safe. And the dolphins talked. One said...
Posted by Shooter on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Awesome game if you're a fader

Things you'lle need: One pool table One shit ton of beer At least one bottle of the hard stuff (booze i mean) Some friends some ibuprofen The rules. Doubles pool, everyone slugs one beer per...
Posted by Shooter on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

How to get booted off of a jury- the right way

In this informational guide to all my reader(s), I will pinpoint the do's and dont's of not being selected to be on a jury. Now I know we've all heard the ingenious "Tell them you're a racist" theory...
Posted by Shooter on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST