I, Jessicus profile picture

I, Jessicus

mercedesmccambridge

About Me

Hypocrite.

My Interests

Writing, reading, music -- duh. Drinking, gambling, concerts, stand-up comedy, roller coasters, barbecues, porn, fireworks, stupid hats, Irish accents, Irish music, Irish musicians, Irish writers, burlesque, road trips, hallucinogenics, cartoons, white-water rafting, penguins, playing pool, watching other people play pool, driving fast, barflies, men who don't ever wear suits but then that one time they do and it's really really sexy.

I'd like to meet:

Please don't wish you were one of the guys from Entourage; it makes me sad. Otherwise we're crackerjack, Jack. No uggos.
I'll probably delete you if you post the same bulletin over and over. I know your silly, silly garage band is playing an opening set at Monsieur Pickledick's in Kansas City, but I don't need to hear about it nine hundred times.

Music:

I love my XM radio more than I love most people. Lately: The Eels, Warren Zevon, The Pogues, George Clinton, Tom Waits, Tom Petty, Flogging Molly, U2, Nina Simone, The Allman Brothers, Bob Dylan, Social Distortion, Bob Marley, Sonia Dada, Martin Sexton, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show, Creedence, Jim Bianco, Butthole Surfers, Willie Nile, Glen Philips, John Butler Trio, Keb' Mo', Enter the Haggis, The Magnetic Fields, The White Buffalo, Mike Doughty, Colin Hay, Sublime, Brian Vander Ark, Joe Purdy, Massive Attack, Radiohead. Always: Rolling Stones and Queen.

Movies:

Easy Rider, Waking Ned Devine, Memento, Around the Bend, True Romance, The Big Lebowski, Sin City, Intermission, Key Largo, Little Miss Sunshine, The Source, My Flesh and Blood, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Amadeus, Bad Santa

Television:

Slings & Arrows, Heroes, The Office, Dexter, Scrubs, Dead Like Me, Arrested Development, Mr. Show, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Lost

Books:

Eureka Street, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, Women (Bukowski, not the horrible play), Bonfire of the Vanities, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim, Christine Falls, The Tender Bar, Foreskin's Lament, Dr. Sax, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Choke, Winner of the National Book Award, Smoke and Mirrors, Geek Love, Blue Highways, A Prayer for the Dying, Jude the Obscure

Heroes:

Bukowski, Kerouac, Stanhope, my grandparents, Werner Herzog, Keith Richards, Scotty Bowman

My Blog

wishful drinking

Because I've been an absent motherfucker lately. I know this. I am a crotch. Here is why:I have a new job where I can lurch in hung over and yell "CHICKEN WINGS!", and in the exact amount of time it t...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Tue, 17 Jun 2008 05:40:00 PST

St. Pat’s happened.

Apologies to everyone I owe apologies to. Kicks in the nuts to everyone I owe kicks in the nuts to. Dear Nyack, Why do you kick ass and suck in equal proportion? What the hell is wrong with ...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:13:00 PST

No potato salad, no cry.

You know that feeling of unease that won’t go away? Kind of like when you’re about to go on a first date with someone but you just stepped into their bathroom and ...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:48:00 PST

A Retrospective, or: I Wrote This Sober!

On a recent visit to my dad's house to pick up my mail and steal shampoo and cat food, I happened upon the academic calendar that my former high school sends to all its alumni. Throughout the eight ye...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:57:00 PST

Lewis Black wants me to wash his balls.

Hey, I found my three seconds of fame! This is a clip from a Lewis Black HBO special from I think 2003. There's the lead-up, and then the punchline, and then a closeup of my dumbass self, back when I ...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 03:02:00 PST

I got a story ain't got no moral, let the bad guy win every once in a while.

Martin Sexton's new album Seeds is gilded ambrosia. That's a metaphor according to Garner's. Buy it. Seeds, not Garner's. You can buy Garner's too, but only if you want to be a pretentious asshole and...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 10:14:00 PST

Money can't buy you love, but love can't buy you shit.

To whoever spray-painted BALLS -- twice -- on the walls of the New York City Post Office, that was immature and pointless. We are kindred spirits, we are. I keyed my phone number into a bench somewher...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:18:00 PST

I think my angel's gone to Vegas, holding aces in her hand.

If anyone wants to know anything about where I live, read this. It's concise and informative! Re: shaving my head ... I can't wait to shave my head. A handful of people have tried to talk me out...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 10:46:00 PST

From the dark end of this bar, what a beautiful wreck you are.

- At the trial last week, the judge had me acknowledge that I was officially a "Class E Felon, E as in elephant." Does that make me a felophant? That's much more user-friendly. And I predict that any ...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 06:19:00 PST

Bonnaroo 2007

Here's the lineup. There are still a couple spots available in Robot Box Van. (Edit: Never mind. Robot Box Van, she be full.) Shoot me a line if you feel like spending four blistering hot da...
Posted by I, Jessicus on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:01:00 PST