Helen - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I hate writing profiles about myself, but just this once I'll make an exception. I hate reality TV (except for my secret weakness for reality shows involving people singing). And I am widely rumoured (at least in work) to hate penguins, even though I actually quite like them, honest. Well, when I say "like" I mean "thought March of the Penguins was very dull, at least until the fluffy chicks started toddling". Apart from that, life's pretty groovy.
By day, I wrangle reviews for a film magazine. By night, I - well, I sleep, but I'd like to think that by getting my rest and maintaining an even temper, I fight the rage crime that would result were I sleep-deprived. So really, by night I secretly fight crime in my mask, boots and super-strength lycra that gives me the figure of Jean Grey in the X-Men comics - the 90s ones too, with the clearly impossible curves and super-big hair. I also occasionally guide tours of American tourists around Europe, because I'm a glutton for punishment that way.
I intend one day to write the great Northern Irish novel (well, maybe not quite that) and tidy my flat. I'm not sure which of these is more likely.
If you're an Empire user who'd like to be friends (and bless your cotton socks if you are) please message me before sending an invite, as I generally only link to those I have previously 'met', as it were, via our forums, or those who convince me they aren't psychopaths or Dr Red.
Oooh, and I'm running Race for Life again this year, so please sponsor me and help me raise money for cancer research. Click here to visit my race for life page and sponsor me. Cheers!

My Interests

Film, books, film, music, film, travelling, film, going to the gym (yes, really - have Got Gym. It's like religion, but duller and instead of hell and brimstone there's something called a high BMI), cycling (now even brave the mean streets of London and cycle to work on occasion) and film. Oh, and film. Am a bit obsessed these days, actually; not sure it's healthy.

I'd like to meet:

Steven Spielberg. Hayao Miyazaki. Robert Jordan. Stephen Fry (again). Jon Stewart, because, You can spread what you want - democracy, nutella, manure - world peace ain't going to happen by invading every country that looks at your wrong.

Music:

I don't know anything about music anymore! It's so depressing. However, now that I have a small, cheap 'n' cheerful MP3 player, I have every reason to hope that I will one day know my Kooks from my Kinks again.

Movies:

Pretty much all of 'em. Except Soul Plane, Yu-Gi-Oh: Pyramid Of Light, Are We There Yet? and Requiem for a Dream.But I particularly love The Princess Bride, Cyrano de Bergerac, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Casablanca, ET, AI, Fight Club, Star Wars, Sleepless in Seattle, His Girl Friday, It's A Wonderful Life, and about a million more that I can't think of right now but will list some more later...

Television:

Father Ted, Blackadder, The West Wing, The Simpsons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and Family Guy forever. Arrested Development, Green Wing, Doctor Who and My Name Is Earl right now.

Books:

All of 'em. I'm a book whore - I'll read anything. Except The Da Vinci Code again - what a piece of crap that was.
But in terms of books I crazy love, how about The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Use of Weapons, The Wheel of Time, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes, Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, Shakespeare's plays, A Prayer for Owen Meany, Maus, Watchmen, Wyrd Sisters, Magician (and its spin-offs as far as the mid-90s), the Belgariad, the Mallorean, The Importance of Being Earnest, anything David Mamet wrote, On The Beach, Julian May's Exiles and Galactic series (has there ever been a better punchline than that in Intervention?), How the Irish Saved Civilisation, Grass (the one by Sherri S. Tepper, not a treatise on marijuana), A Case of Conscience, The Sparrow, Children of God, The Forever War, The Nine Billion Names of God (bit of a religious theme here for a minute), The Book of Skulls, Burning Chrome, War of the Worlds, Flowers for Algernon, A Wizard of Earthsea, Anne McCaffrey's early Dragon books, and Restoree, and The Ship Who Sang, the Chalet School books, Wilard Price's Adventure books, A Tale of Two Cities, A Christmas Carol, Something Happened by Joseph Heller (actually better than Catch-22!) and many more that I can't think of right now.

Heroes:

Princess Leia. Xenia Onatopp. Morticia Addams. Jessica Rabbit. What, you meant real people? Oh. Er. Well, I worked with some (anti) death penalty lawyers in Texas who were pretty astounding and did amazing things with no money against a horrendously dangerous judicial system. And I'm a big fan of teachers. Sure, doctors save lives and stuff, but teachers are where it's at. They should earn more than company directors and teach in gold and diamond-plated classrooms if it were up to me.

My Blog

Fate Can Resist Everything But Temptation

And just like that...the flat is buggered. Apparently the building might be demolished in the near future. Brilliant.
Posted by Helen on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 02:29:00 PST

Not Tempting Fate

I got a call this morning from an estate agent I've previously had dealings with, asking if I'd like to buy a rundown one-bed flat in Hackney that needs a new kitchen. I said that I'm currently trying...
Posted by Helen on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:06:00 PST

Bug movie noodle

I'm aware that my life resembles one of those very experimental, rather boring and far too slow-moving indie movies (Last Days without the music or, hopefully, the suicidal depression) rather than, sa...
Posted by Helen on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:24:00 PST

Poverty and estate agents do not mix

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to come out of the closet. I am trying to get on the property ladder. Thanks to an incredibly generous and (I am sure) financially unsound decision on the part of my pa...
Posted by Helen on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 11:46:00 PST

10 Things I Learned In San Francisco

So after never visiting the West coast of the US, I've now been twice in a month. And here are some of the things I learned there. 1. San Francisco's a fantastic place. Gorgeous scenery, nice-looking ...
Posted by Helen on Sat, 19 May 2007 08:30:00 PST

Why We Love Zombies: A Treatise

Warning: This might all get a bit wanky and philosophical - or just wanky. The short version: I saw 28 Weeks Later. It's scary. I read World War Z. It's also scary. The long version: I saw 28 Weeks La...
Posted by Helen on Tue, 01 May 2007 02:27:00 PST

Back from touring again

So lately I've been to France and Italy and I go to San Francisco in about 36 hours - all work trips, though, so they barely count as real travel. Here are some of the things that happened on the most...
Posted by Helen on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 01:58:00 PST

Guiding Again!

Yay, I'm off to Europe again. France first, on a quick trip from next week around Paris-Versailles-Chartres-the Loire Valley-St Malo-Mont St. Michel-the D-Day beaches-Arromanches-Bayeux and back to Pa...
Posted by Helen on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 05:00:00 PST

The Oscars

I've been blogging the Oscars all night on the Empire website, and now I'm just sitting around, tidying bits and pieces up and waiting for my colleagues to finish so we can all go home. So. Tired. Sti...
Posted by Helen on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 10:22:00 PST

Help! I need TV advice

So I saw this TV and I think I'd like to buy it. But it's more money than I have ever spent on anything, so I'd like y'all's advice. Factors for: - I currently have a 24" "Finlandia" TV that came with...
Posted by Helen on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 04:40:00 PST