ERNEST profile picture

ERNEST

About Me

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I've come to realize that my greatest fear is having my hand slip while I'm wiping my ass and getting poo poo all over my fingers, especially underneath my nails.

My Interests

In general I like to watch people swim in the same rusty waters that oil tankers occupy, but really my biggest interest is the spanking machine (and no I'm not one of those people that holds you in between their thighs just to have a field day on your ass, I hate those guys) - after that the list goes on - Lazer Zone, Discovery Zone, Roller Skating, Cleaning, Water Balloon Fights, Catch One Catch All, Wiffle Ball, Making My Bed, Schmidt Flinches, Hot water in the shower and cold water on my anus from my dukie splashes. Running away from hack-e-sack games when no ones looking. Claiming that random bones have mysteriously transported themselves from inside my body to my pants pockets (ie. ribs). Backstaging people. Lastly, I love watching little kids cry...if there is one thing that makes me laugh its definitely a crying child.

I'd like to meet:

KIMBO SLICE so I can pay him $100 to drop kick this dude below.

Movies:

TRANSFORMERS

Television:

CUBS

Books:

Pocket Pal; Understanding American and German Business Cultures; Ernie made a big mess; Ernie's big lie

My Blog

Stan Lee forgot to draw his nut sack in

Now I'm no Marvel Maniac, but I did have a card collection and I just recently found the Marvel characters that I've cherished throughout by childhood into my pubescence stage.  I remember lookin...
Posted by ERNEST on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 11:55:00 PST

ATC's...the long awaited reunion

Over the past weekend I was semi-witness to one of the most forbidden pleasures you may have never knew existed.  The awkward delight better known as the Accidental Titty Collision or ATC.  ...
Posted by ERNEST on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 06:21:00 PST

Moonwalker

Has anybody ever heard of a little game called "Michael Jackson's Moonwalker?"  For those of you who don't know, Genesis came out with Moonwalker in the 90's.  I was one of the lucky few tha...
Posted by ERNEST on Thu, 18 May 2006 04:51:00 PST

Come with me on a Grand Tour

So I was sitting on my front porch the other day (with a K9 barking its fucking head off in the background and 3 little shits riding their bicycles in the foreground - sporadically chiming their littl...
Posted by ERNEST on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 05:22:00 PST