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Dash MacBastard

Dash MacBastard: Eating Nails, Spittin' Bullets, and Shittin' Ice Cream Since 1974

About Me

College Fine Art Major, Would-Be Comic book artist/writer, shipping clerk/sinister death merchant.

My Interests

Illustration, comic books, giant monsters, vinyl kaiju,giant monsters threatening the island of Japan, writing, naked women, zombies, zombies threatening naked women, animation, movies with extremely long, exquisitely choreographed fight sequences involving either clashing katanas or light sabres. Giant japanese robots, carnival sideshow acts, promiscuity, old school spy movies, tiki art, action figures, The Eighties, Sour Patch Kids, Garbage Pail Kids cards, Dinosaurs Attack cards, (pre-code) EC Comics, Godzilla, Your Mother, that sort of thing...

I'd like to meet:

George Lucas, Rob Zombie, an extraterestrial hellbent on earth's domination who I would then trick into giving up his plans of interstellar conquest through a disputed hand at UNO. Stan Lee, Harrison Ford (who I would insist call me Short Round), Steven Hawking (who I could say-in all honesty- that even though he's wayyyy smart, it really sucks that he'll never be able to do jumping jacks), Peter Jackson, Eric Powell, Bruce Campbell, William Shatner, Steve Niles, Alessandra Ambrosio, Sonny Chiba, Walt Disney. I'd kinda like to sit around and do shots with the The Ghosts of Darren McGavin, James Coburn, and Al "Grampa Munster" Lewis. God, Go Nagai, Simon Bisley, the brave souls who piloted the original Lion Force Voltron (except for Pidge. He's an asshole), Steven Spielberg, your mother, Sara Wilkinson, Ted Cassiday, Tor Johnnson, the guy who wore all the rubber monster suits in all those Godzilla movies, Sean Connery, Kate Moss. I said "your mother" already, right? Anyone interesting. Anyone...? Anyone..?

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Music:

Korn, White Zombie, Nine Inch Nails, Guns N Roses, AD-DC, Disturbed, Beck, Beastie Boys, KMFDM, Marilyn Manson, Prodigy, Filter, U2, Rolling Stones, Ramones, Chemical Brothers, Hole...

Movies:

Kill Bill, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jaws, The Original Star Wars trilogy, Ghostbusters, The Matrix trilogy, Blade Runner, The Omega Man, Dawn of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Se7en, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Fifth Element, Hellbound: Hellraiser 2, Die Hard, Escape From New York, The Street Fighter (with Sonny Chiba), Pulp Fiction, Willow, Batman, The Fly, Creepshow, Mallrats, Planet of the Apes (original), Escape From the Planet of the Apes, Dusk 'Till Dawn, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness, Big Trouble In Little China, The Thing, Ed Wood, King Kong, Godzilla, Alien, Frankenstein, Robocop, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Thunderball, Young Frankenstein, Heavy Metal, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, Total Recall, Caddyshack, The Naked Gun, Airplane...

Television:

Venture Bros., Family Guy, Battlestar Galactica, The Simpsons, Hogan Knows Best (for some inexplicable fucking reason, I'm totally engrossed by this piece of televised turd), Always Sunny Philadelphia, re-runs of Kolchak: The Night Stalker...

Books:

Doctor No, Thunderball, Salem's Lot, You Only Live Twice, Interzone (William S. Boroughs), Choke (Chuck Palahniuk), Salem's Lot, So Crazy Japanese Toys, White Trash (by the late, great, illustrator Martin Emond), Frankenstein, Guns, Drugs, and Monsters (by Steve Niles) ...

Heroes:

Simon Bisley, J. Scott Campbell, Todd McFarlane, George Lucas, Bernie Wrightson, Alex Ross, Steven Spielberg, Kevin Smith, Drew Struzan, Don Bluth, Derek Flint, Stephen King, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, CHRISTINA SURDI, Jack Davis, Martin Emond, Brom, Quentin Tarantino, Go Nagai, Jean-Claude Mézières, my father, Joan McDonald, Spider-Man ...

My Blog

Show MacBastard Now You Must

File under "Show Me Now, Motherfucker"... New Clone Wars ... "Show MacBastard now You must..."...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:33:00 PST

Pocket Knives Can Come In Handy Sometimes....

This is the reason why I don't own a pocket knife...   Ahhhhhhhhhhhh That smarts!...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 06:11:00 PST

5 Things You Should Never, Ever Say To A Woman...

So a coworker pointed out an ill concieved article featured on the Men's Health website the other day. It detailed the "5 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman". I couldn't help but disagree wit...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Sun, 20 May 2007 04:45:00 PST

Must... Resist!!!

Ah fuck it. Who am I kidding? Not unlike a slew of pop culture  predesessors (see Phantom Menace),  Marvel Zombies Vs. The Army of Darkness  was nigh impossible for Yours Trul...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 05:41:00 PST

Between You and Me; I Think He Was Askin' For It...

It's like my grandmother always used to tell me; "Don't ever fuck with a crocodile." D'oh!!! Oh yeah, that's a real arm by the way.   ...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 01:54:00 PST

Just In Time For Easter

File under "Ways To Completely Fuck With Your Kid's Head"... Biblical Plague Finger Puppets  ...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 02:18:00 PST

Nerdiness By Mail...

I am such a fucking geek. I can't wait to see these on envelopes... Star Wars Postage Stamps ...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 01:43:00 PST

Trans-fucking-Formers, Baby!

Don't bother trying to get ahold of Dash on July 4th of this year. Don't ask him out to bar-b-cues. Don't ask him to engage in drunken, celebratory festivities commemorating our nation's ind...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 07:20:00 PST

Christ I Miss The Eighties...

People are always asking me, "Dash, what was so goddamn great about the '80's anyway...?" I'll tell you what was great about the eighties, ya fuck sticks- Sloth from The Goonies. It's true. ...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 06:34:00 PST

Indy 4

There's a huge difference between movies that I want to see, and movies that I need to see. Having said that, show me this movie NOW, bitch!!! Indy 4 ...
Posted by Dash MacBastard on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 05:30:00 PST