Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed

About Me

Guitarist for The Butt-Kickin' Shoe (world domination coming RFN). . . . . I still dislike bacon.

My Interests

Camel Turkish Golds. Wides, with a coupon.

I'd like to meet:

Friendly Mongol hordes with Minotaur connections

Music:

The Butt Kickin' Shoe, Stones, Beatles, Zeppelin, Who, Pink Floyd, Animals, Johnny Cash, Temptations, Kinks, Dylan, Queen, Billy Joel, Jimi, SRV, Keef, Slash, Guns N' Roses, Pearl Jam, Live, Jane's Addiction, Faith No More, Beastie Boys, Pistols, Ramones, Misfits, Zakk Wylde, David Lee Roth, Tool, Better Than Ezra, Syd Barrett, Jeff Buckley, Radiohead, Butch MF Walker, Alice In Chains, Blind Melon, Spacehog, Big Head Todd And The Monsters, Oasis, Clutch, Kings Of Leon, The Mars Volta; .........RIGHT NOW: all things Izzy

Movies:

Dune. Anything with Nicole Eggert.

Television:

The Leah Remini Network

Books:

"The History Of Pants: Britches, Trousers, And Parachutes" "The History Of Pants, Vol. II: Trap-Door PJs" "The History Of Pants, Vol. III: The Zipper-vs-Button Controversy" "The History Of Pants, Vol. IV: French Man With Two Asses Surprises Swedish Officials"

Heroes:

Cecil von High Life, the inventor of the best drink since grog.

My Blog

Underwear. . . who needs it?

The person responsible for the "three-shakes" rule is also the person who invented underwear for fellas. Three is never quite enough; four is usually required. But, underwearless, a thrice shaking wil...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:53:00 PST

Wanna know what I do with self-adhesive stamps?

I lick 'em anyway, 'cause I'm old-school, bitches.
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:17:00 PST

Long Toenails

Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Thu, 11 Sep 2008 05:20:00 PST

Rasta hat

I recently purchased one of those cool-looking Rasta hats, with a Charlie-Brown-shirt-style jagged red, yellow, and green pattern, to cover my voluminous hairstyle and protect my head from the su...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Sat, 19 Jul 2008 02:20:00 PST

Minotaurian self-floggin

There's a widespread wive's tale that states that when a Minotaur flogs himself, all of his dead relatives are watching. Minotaur theology apparently propagates the idea that Minotaur Paradise i...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Sat, 10 May 2008 12:46:00 PST

REVENGEminoREVENGE!!! !!!!!

I FINALLY DEFEATED MY MINOTAUR IN A SPORT!!!!!!! Min & I were on opposing dodgeball teams as part of the Overweight, Hairy, & Horny group (aka OHH)(his group, not mine). Some Therapy? t...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:46:00 PST

Children of the Meat

Between Harvey and Anamoose, along Highway 52 in North Dakota, lies a town called Martin. A scant 80 claim this kick-ass town as their home. They are the chosen few. One day, the town's namesake ...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:32:00 PST

Midgetaur

When I'm mouthy, I'm protected. I bought myself a Midgetaur. He's about half my size, not counting horns, and I call him "Cap'n". Cap'n is always by my side. Whenever someone stands up to me, face-to...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Fri, 18 May 2007 01:27:00 PST

BANNED!!!

I once had a friend over for the night. I provided him with a blankey of steel wool and a pillow of feces. When he was asleep, I burned his car, then stole his wallet; there was only a dollar in there...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Fri, 18 May 2007 11:33:00 PST

MinoFarms

I've been going out to breakfast with a minotaur friend of mine. We like to go to Dakota Farms, where I order the Hungry Man's Special. I order my eggs over-easy; I like to eat the yolks whole, after ...
Posted by Opening of ShoeMart Museum Delayed on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 04:46:00 PST