Edward profile picture

Edward

I EAT GLASS AND CRAP SAND STORMS.... and have done so, long before you ever pissed excellence.

About Me

I kick trees with my bare shins until the bone is exposed, and then I duct tape over the bloody flesh holes and continue until the tree collapses.I shave my face only once every 3 months, using a jagged rock.Also, I wear the same clothes every day until they literally decay off of my body.I have been told I smell like an eagle, though I myself have never sniffed one, so this is questionable.

My Interests

Philosophy, religion, psychology, quantum physics, the occult, supernaturalism, naked girls, fart jokes, and a broad range of irreverent comedy.

I'd like to meet:

I smashed Superman's nads into oblivion, like 2 raw eggs dropped off the top of the Empire State building; That bitch crumbled like an autumn leaf. Right now you may be asking yourself: "What does this have to do with ANYTHING?" This is an excellent question, and it is also one that shall remain unanswered.------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------- I like to get blind drunk and spit at my cats. I have argued with furniture in public and have vomited at virtually every Denny's resturant in south Florida. They call me awesome, but I try to hide from sales people and I don't like baked beans.... Sometimes I feel like a fraud.

Music:


Movies:

I only like good movies. If someone suggest a movie to me, and I bother to watch it and it ends up sucking, I "WILL" snap it in half. Yes, even if it belongs to Block Buster. Not my fault it sucked.

Television:

I do not require sleep, so late at night I watch info-mercials on purpose. I enjoy the background music on the one about the 'Slim and Lift Supreme'. If the same advertisement lasts for more than forty five minutes I start to chew the skin off around my toenails. If I've already done that, I'll tear out large patches of chest and leg hair.

My Blog

POLITICS

"OPINIONS ARE LIKE ASSHOLES, EVERYBODY HAS ONE." This one belongs to ME ...  CAUTION: It may leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. ...*AHEM*  Before I begin, I must clarify a few t...
Posted by Edward on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:43:00 PST

The Lost Wisdom of Native America

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." "You don't have time for this display, you fool," he said in a s...
Posted by Edward on Sat, 29 Sep 2007 03:50:00 PST

A Man and His Music

YES! It is true! You CAN learn alot about a man by listening to his music... Like if he deserves to be kicked in the nuts, for example.  That's why dudes who listen to country music&nbs...
Posted by Edward on Wed, 21 May 2008 10:42:00 PST

The Human Animal

It has come to my attention that many people belive that human beings ARE NOT animals. (Usually for religious purposes)  "I" have a problem with this mainly because these people are fucking ...
Posted by Edward on Thu, 01 May 2008 12:16:00 PST

What? You want to ask me out? Huh?

If you have selected this blog, I am assuming that you are a female of at least 23 years of age who is interested to see if she meets "My Personal Standards." Otherwise PISS OFF! ---------------------...
Posted by Edward on Mon, 04 Feb 2008 09:49:00 PST

My Second Blog

If you consider yourself  "conservative" or "liberal", "left wing" or "right wing", please do yourself a favor and delete me from your friends list. I am not affiliated with YOU! Fuh- "COUGH!!" &...
Posted by Edward on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 08:54:00 PST

My 1st BLOG

This blog here rhymes on purpose. I'm writing it for fun. And after it is finished, well then it will be done. I know that it is stupid, and yes, a waste of time, and no one who will read it will...
Posted by Edward on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 11:34:00 PST