Count Spatula was born Vladimir Mabainsky in the shantytown of Esperence, WA in 1912, a community at once distinctive for it's refugee community of Native Americans (relocated during a top scret BIA experimental proto-relocation project) and Transvanians (ejected for political offenses) and having the highest ratio of chefs in the state of Washington in the early part of the century. With his rare cultural highbridosity and elite culinary skills, young Vladimir took work as a chef for fishing crews on the high seas of the Bering Straight. On one voyage Vladimir was bitten and stabbed with a titanium spatula by an angry Norwegian Fisherman, the legendary vampire captain Ole Berzerker.
After being bitten and transformed into a vampire chef, Vladimir returned to Washington and hid out in the northern Cascades for decades until returning to Esperence after becoming penpals with the legendary Kid Sensation in the 1980's. After learning how to co-exist with regular humans and fools, Vladimir was bestowed with the moniker Count Spatula by the Washington State Legislature. In the late 1990's Count Spatula struck up a friendship with local musician Captain Raab and began working on material. Together they released CS's debut, "Sterling Lethalware", and CS's opus, "Optimus Spatulus". Shortly after completing "Optimus Spatulus" in 2002, CS fell victim to a crippling case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which left him unable to leave his Seattle home unless it has rained for 20 consecutive minutes, stopped for 39 seconds, and rained an additional 39 seconds before finally ceasing.
In the early years of the 2000's Count Spatula moved again to the northern Cascades, and began again working on new material. Count Spatula is currently developing new material and plans on returning to the public eye.
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