eddi profile picture

eddi

my candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night. but ah my foes, and oh my friends--it give

About Me

ask me no questions
i'll tell you no lies.
if you ever get hit
with a bucket of shit,
be certain to close your eyes. I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

eddi is my preferred name, though i'm known more widely as jess. i'm quite a large partier, so if you ever see me at prism buy me a drink and i'll love you forever. i love dancing, perhaps a bit too much. i perform in various places on vancouver island (and some places on the mainland) as a soloist, with sisters arrakis, and the al ahsan dancers.
i enjoy writing when i can get motivated enough to do it, but rarely post or keep any of my ramblings as they reveal too many shallow patterns about myself that i'd rather remain oblivious to. that being said, i adore poetry and prose and hope to one day get the balls to read something of mine at an open mic slam night. some of my bitching can be read on my live journal (click) so if you care to take a peek go ahead, but be gentle.
i'm into anything artistic. sculpting, painting, and creating are extremely exciting for me--once again, when i have the motivation and tools to do so. performance art is my favourite of all, however. there is truly nothing like being on stage and feeling the electricity from the audience envelop you in a buzzing cloud of adrenaline. truly some of my finest moments have been shared with a crowd of bewildered onlookers. and i'm not just talking about the times i get really drunk and run around with a dildo on my head screaming "I'M A RHINOCEROS!"
some of my biggest flaws include my disgusting smoking habit, my excessive love of booze, and my apparent lethargy. i may very well be doomed to spending the rest of my life in the same town with the same type of job, dragging my sorry ass to work every day and hating each moment of it--living for the weekends which i can't remember anyway save the moments of waking up booze soaked with my clothes on backwards and a kidney missing. i can also be rather narcissistic and worried about my appearance, insecure, and yes, even obsessive. i have mood swings, i hover between utter despair and elation, which is usually kept at bay by a long hug and a walk by the water. despite my occasional moments of insanity, i am a pretty nice person once you get to know me and i relax a little.
now, if you've read all that and STILL want to be my friend, you're fucked up and i need to know who you are so i can molest you.
I heard of a man
who says words so beautifully
that if he only speaks their name
women give themselves to him.
If I am dumb beside your body
while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips.
it is because I hear a man climb stairs and clear his
throat outside the door.

You're a strap-on!!
Take What sex toy am I? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey 's Personality Test Generator .

Well look at that, you're a strap-on. Chances are you're the dominant, aggressive type. I'm sure you're loud, outgoing and love to be the center of attention. I bet you get called a bitch a lot, and new people are intimidated to talk to you. You step up to any challenge, unless you think you may lose, then you pretend to be busy. You almost always get what you want, and when you don't you get pissed and figure out how to get it. People are drawn to your strong alpha dog mentality, and you tend to have many people crushing on you... most of them are not your type though. Chances are someday you'll either end up filthy rich, or in jail.

My Interests


bellydancing (performing, teaching, taking classes), clubbing, unicycling, wasting time on the computer, camping, watching/participating in live shows, thrift store finds, cult movies, people watching, people who smell good, dancing until i collapse, hands and arms, massages, comfortable silences, uncontrollable laughter

I'd like to meet:

spendthrift hedonists like myself. people who will make me think about things and at least pretend to listen to my ideas. people who like hugs and open affection, who are honest but not rude, and who will not feel weird going into a gay bar or wince at the sight of two men kissing. if you're hot that's a bonus ;)

Music:

world, techno, hand drums, folk...natacha atlas, hossam ramzy, mixed bellydance cds (haram, bdss), julie doiron, kd lang, melissa etheridge, tom waits, hawksley workman, pj harvey, dead can dance, bette midler, nick cave, leonard cohen, megan mullally, cat power, dan bern

Movies:

harold and maude, butterfly kiss, quills, rocky horror picture show, monster, connie and carla, to wong fu thanks for everything, north country, chicago, the rose, for the boys, death becomes her, belly dance superstars in paris, x men, fear and loathing in las vegas, anchorman, the 40 year old virgin, bruce almighty, drop dead gorgeous, austin powers, transamerica, most queer or independent films

Television:

will & grace, kids in the hall, that 70s show (in its early years), the office, my name is earl, family guy, the simpsons, mythbusters, ellen, the l word, stand up comedy shows

Books:

damien, da vinci code, joy shtick, electric koolaid acid test, the wars, not wanted on the voyage, mary shelley's frankenstein, leonard cohen's poetry, adventures of monkey king

Heroes:

leonard cohen, sylvia plath, edna st. vincent-millay, kd lang, pussy willow, kelly trashy kelly, electra socket, the bovine miss m, jacklyn hyde, shivauna millionaire, kitty david (ok yes i love drag queens and kings), bette midler, debra jo rupp, megan mullally, the cast of will & grace, mindy sterling

My Blog

Doggy Style

Dogs are pretty awesome.  You can call them things like "Fuckface" and "Sir Douchington the fifth", and as long as it's expressed in an enthusiastic, high pitched tone, they will l...
Posted by eddi on Sat, 05 May 2007 12:31:00 PST

10 reason why gay marriage is wrong

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hangin...
Posted by eddi on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 03:35:00 PST

the cemetary

we could run through the path at the cemetary, sticky crab apple trails staining our soles, the pits pricking our arches.  our ivory feet are light and carry bodies taut with delicious anxiety, t...
Posted by eddi on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 04:08:00 PST

doomsday

another gem from my dear sylvia The idiot bird leaps out and drunken leansAtop the broken universal clock:The hour is crowed in lunatic thirteens.Our painted stages fall apart by scenesWhile all the a...
Posted by eddi on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 05:01:00 PST

i know why everyone likes me since i've gotten fat

because it makes them feel skinner!! bwahahaha! don't think i'm unaware of your secret.
Posted by eddi on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:23:00 PST

silk

she sees my pulse raging beneath my sweater it's hot but I'm milk i shiver sweat at her   kneading my flesh with rubber tipped fingers needing a point to nestle the needles silk pierced pop...
Posted by eddi on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:08:00 PST

"true wit is nature to advantage dressed

what oft was thought ne'er so well expressed."   weave through the sea of painted facesthey lick their teeth and call me madamei drop my coffee on the one white partlisting off recipies in catala...
Posted by eddi on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:25:00 PST

i'd take a bath in plath

just wanted to pay a little tribute to sylvia plath, i've always liked her but lately her poetry has unraveled differently for me, a silvery and miraculous account of passion and despair.  here's...
Posted by eddi on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 11:47:00 PST

dear camosun students:

if i walk into a bathroom stall one more time, only to see it splattered with drops of pee i am going to FREAK OUT!  yes, i hover in public washrooms anyway, but i have the skill to avoid getting...
Posted by eddi on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:08:00 PST

my peronsalililility

stoled from the lovely kryssi. You Are An ENFPThe InspirerYou love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authori...
Posted by eddi on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 01:13:00 PST