Keefe R5® profile picture

Keefe R5®

It's Delicious.

About Me

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Bacardi 151
Congratulations! You're 146 proof, with specific scores in beer (140) , wine (83), and liquor (121). All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 94% on proof You scored higher than 99% on beer index You scored higher than 94% on wine index You scored higher than 99% on liquor index
Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid
Our Lease on Life is Short.
I'm an outgoing guy that really likes the security of my dark hole. I love to interact with people, especially people I can learn and gain something from.i can be cheesy when i want to i can be sweet when i want to i can be dominating when i want to i can be drunk when i want to i can be surprising on accident i can be me when i like youif i like you, you'll know
California Culinary Graduation-February 4th, 2005

My Interests



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net This is my pet penguin, Caesar...... he is green...

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.comCunnalingus, Cooking and Food, Members of the opposite sex, Smoking, Drinking, Sex, Drugs, Rock 'N' Roll, Cars, Sports, Music, Movies, Gambling, Cards, and Vandalism

Tobasco Sauce: It stings the nostrils

I died and Dan found me

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet people who can top all the good people I already have in my life. I know too many people already so you have to be really cool or have like boobs and stuff.
I'd also like to meet Ryan Martini's 17 pack located between his pecs and pelvis... motherfucker's ripped (...im not gay)
Oh yeah, and Rodney Mullen.... I can watch him skateboard anyday, everyday, all day.... and then on slow motion.... the complexity is just too great to comprehend in one sitting...

Music:

I WAS THERE! ROCK. metal is the reason im slowly going deaf... rap is the reason why i can be gangsta... classical is the reason i still feel music... butt-rock is reason i sexually harass women while intoxicated... A*T*R*C*

Movies:

-Trey Parker
-Wes Anderson
-Broken Lizard
-Judd Apatow
-Happy Madison

Television:

besides Sportscenter, new South Park, and Iron Chef, id rather just watch the seaon on DVD:-Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia -The Chapelle Show -Freaks and Geeks -South Park -Family Guy -News Radio...if only i could find Iron Chef on DVD

Books:

I read a lot of literature on cooking alongside the cookbooks i read every day... Food takes up most of my free time.I dont read as much as i should, my library is ill treated

Heroes:

Chris Farley, Jack Black, and any other pudgey, funny guy... They molded my young, fat, impressionable mind to what you see today...
And then there's family:
The Mom:
The Bro:
The Other Dad:
The Other Brothers:

The Other Family:

My Blog

Choose your investments wisely...

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.With Enron you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00With WorldCom, you would have had less th...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:53:00 PST

By far the grossest shit I’ve EVER seen

BME Pain Olympics *Warning: Not for weak stomachs*   Warning: This shit ain't a joke, its real and its fucking sick... i watched a video of Joe Rogan watching 2girls1cup.com and he said he'd seen...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Mon, 24 Dec 2007 10:19:00 PST

Cooperation: Special Dinner-Casa Zimbabwe

Cooperation: Special DinnerMy eccentric, spontaneous behavior has yielded some pretty good stories. This one tops them.I've been out of touch over the last week with almost everybody besides being at ...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:51:00 PST

My Idol.

...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 06:04:00 PST

Drugs and South Park

A person who partakes in any kind of substance will simply have normally dormant parts of their personality come to the surface. Drugs don't turn you into anything that you're not already, on some lev...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:36:00 PST

Hey YOU! Make up a band name...

Flacid Erection Man Gravey Jr.  & Butt Piss ....all taken already.... just come up with a random band name, make it up, put wierd words together, fuckin butcher the english language... you ca...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Sun, 01 Apr 2007 08:56:00 PST

The Reason I Date Beer

BEER vs. PUSSY: THE PLAYOFF 1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER 2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy 3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BE...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 02:22:00 PST

Patrick McGinn

I'm throwing down the myspace history of Pat and myself.... just cuz this guy is getting fuckin MARRIED later on this week....   The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (i promise to try my hardest ...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Sun, 15 Oct 2006 03:24:00 PST

What all dispatchers should ask...

..>...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 12:53:00 PST

One day off in 2 weeks..... what to do?

                    ..... the other Keefeisms are available to those interested.... not all are HELLA (haha) deep, more so just thought provoking and...
Posted by Keefe R5® on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 02:57:00 PST